Lagos mums! Instead of your children having a long winded holiday where they will not put into practice what they have been learning during the term, Neander International School can provide an environment of continuous learning while having fun at the same time.

From ages 10-16 What offer 2 educational courses to choose from -

• Senior School
  • (core subjects) – IGCSE Introduction / WAEC Revision
  • Mathematics
  • English Language
  • Biology
  • Physics
  • Chemistry

• Junior School
  • (core subjects)- Check Point Introduction / NECO Revision
  • Mathematics
  • English Language
  • Basic Science

• 3 vocational courses to choose from:
  • Food and Nutrition (cooking course)
  • Football
  • Swimming
  • Tennis
  • Basketball
  • Journalism
  • Textiles/ Fashion
  • Bible Study
  • Art and Craft
  • Dance
  • Acting
  • Singing
  • Music
  • Wood work
  • Event planning

• Languages

The Underwear Rule is a simple way to help keep children safe from abuse. What is The Underwear Rule? It’s simple: a child should not be touched by others on parts of the body usually covered by their underwear. And they should not touch others in those areas. It also helps explain to children that their body belongs to them, that there are good and bad secrets and good and bad touches.

About one in five children falls victim to some form of sexual abuse and violence. It happens to children of every gender, every age, every skin colour, every social class and every religion. The perpetrator is often someone the child knows and trusts. The perpetrator can also be a child. 

A child is never too young to be taught The Underwear Rule because abuse can happen at every age. Don’t be uncomfortable teaching them because it is easier they learn from you than from a stranger who might take advantage of them.

Each line of PANTS covers a different part of the Underwear Rule and provides a simple but valuable lesson that can keep a child safe.

PRIVATES ARE PRIVATE

Your child should know their body  belongs to them, and no one else. No one has the right to make your child do anything with their body that makes them feel uncomfortable. If anyone tries, they should tell a trusted adult.

Children do not always recognise appropriate and inappropriate touching. Tell children it is not okay if someone looks at or touches their private parts or asks them to look at or touch someone else’s private parts.

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR BODY BELONGS TO YOU

Your child should know their body belongs to them, and no one else. No one has the right to make your child do anything with their body that makes them feel uncomfortable. If anyone tries, they should tell a trusted adult.

NO MEANS NO

Your child has the right to say ‘no’ – even to a family member or someone they love. This shows your child they’re in control of their body and their feelings are respected. There are times when you may need to overrule your child’s preferences to keep them safe – like when you’re crossing the road – but it helps if you explain why. If a child feels empowered to say no to their own family, they are more likely to say no to others.

TALK ABOUT SECRETS

Help your child feel confident that speaking up about a secret that’s worrying them won’t get them into trouble. Explain the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ secrets. Some secrets, like surprise parties, can be good. But adults should never make a child keep a secret that makes them feel worried, sad or frightened. Secrets are often an abuser’s greatest weapon. Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are their way of making a child feel worried or scared to tell.Help your child to feel clear and confident about what to share and when. Secrets shouldn’t be kept in exchange for something, and should never make your child feel uneasy.

A secret should always be shared in the end.

SPEAK UP SOMEONE CAN HELP

If your child feels sad, anxious or frightened they can talk to an adult they trust. This person will listen, and can help stop whatever’s making them upset. Remind your child that whatever the problem, it’s not their fault and they won’t get into trouble. A trusted adult doesn’t have to be a family member. It can be a teacher, an older brother or sister or a friend’s parent.

Source: Nspcc

Life After Chibok? What has changed? #BringBackOurGirls

Has the Nigerian changed after this horrible act? This kidnap that violates the right of the girls to their freedom, their freedom to be educated and to a safe environment to live and make the choices they want to make?

Terrorism is not new, Boko Haram is not something that popped up in the last 6 months it has been around for years in Nigeria carrying out their dastardly acts. Their actions initially were sporadic and seemed far away for some, in more recent times their actions have been bolder and were picking up momentum. Then they got even bolder if you can use that word and upped it with bombings in the heart of the capital of Nigeria, Abuja followed by this mass abduction.

People thought it was just a problem that was happening in just some parts of Nigeria. These killings were senseless yes, there was loss of lives and devastation yes…but somehow to most people it seemed far away. It was almost shrugged off as the “Governments” problem to solve. Some even labeled it a political problem that was part of a political strategy.

But all this passive, hands off, half-hearted sympathy ended on April 14^th 2014 with the bomb blast at the Nyanya bus stop Abuja followed by the kidnap of over 200 girls from their school. You cannot be the same after this has happened.

We have all woken up to face that there is a crisis! Nigeria is not safe and let’s not fool ourselves that any part of the country is safe from these attacks.

If you didn’t cry before am sure you have shed tears for Nigeria now and for these innocent girls that have been abducted. They have committed no crime and have been forcibly taken by a band of people who do not believe in freedom, do not believe in choices or education for a better future, people who are bent on terror and on causing havoc. They dare to taunt in a video that they will sell the girls off to be married against their will. What do they think that females are not good enough for anything else other than to be married off? They think that girls should not be in school and get an education? They think they can play god and get away with it?

I knew things were different when my young child said “let us do our own protest at home” and she proceeded to make her own #BringBackOurGirls Banner, she also asked her brother to hold the same banner and asked me to take their pictures. She then proceeded to shout almost as if to the heavens that – Bring Back Our Girls or Else…..

In this moment I knew that the kidnap of Chibok girls has changed everything in Nigeria and has changed us Nigerians. No longer can we be content pointing fingers for someone else to solve this problem. We must realise that Everybody is and has a voice, Everybody must do something.  It breaks my heart to have to say that the Chibok girls seem to have been a sacrifice for things to change –  the sacrifice is not their lives, but the fact that they have had to go through this experience at all! Do you think that for one moment even the girls who escaped are the same again? They need love, time, counselling, prayers and the grace of God to be able to operate at their fullest capacity again and forget the terror and horror they have gone through. We have not yet even talked about the girls who are still out there that we are praying for their safe return.

Everyone must do something, if all you can do as my young child did is to shout to the heavens with the solidarity #BringBackOurGirls do so, are you able to march and protest? Are you in the Government? Can you set up counselling units ready to deal with the trauma the victims have faced? Are you a prayer warrior? can you fast? What combination of physical and spiritual actions can you take?

The one thing that is for sure is that you cannot afford to do Nothing!

Nigeria has changed following this – the kidnap represents violation, it represents darkness, it represents oppression and we cannot just sit back and watch!

Welcome to the new Nigeria may we make a positive change, a good and permanent change and be on the road to stamp out terror and a lack of caring in our land!

Have you considered how much of your earnings you cannot account for? Apart from your needs, like groceries and wants like a new pair of black shoes, there is another real category called the “Unclassified and Uncaptured spending”.

There are many ways to set a budget and to decide how much to spend on a monthly basis, after you have paid yourself.

Paying yourself is the act of immediately deducting an amount from your income and placing this in a savings or investment account.

An aggressive recommended budget ratio is “10:30:10:50”

• 10% as Tithe
• 30% into a Savings account (which can include an emergency fund)
• 10% towards investments
• 50% towards wants and needs.

After some research we found that people spend between 15 – 29% of their income on items that were not budgeted for and they cannot account for.

Unbudgeted spending are all those items that you either did not plan for or didn’t budget for because they seem small and random. All those loose amounts spent on credit for your phone, buying magazines, eating out at tantalizers, going to the salon all add up and end up accounting for a major chunk of your spending.

Personally when I started tracking my spending, I noticed a huge amount I was spending that fell into a category I could not directly account for. You know that feeling of pulling N20,000 from the ATM and you are scratching your head to remember what you spent it on. Thanks to tracking my spending I noticed over time there there were items I was spending on that were not one-off and showed up at least every two to three months.

I tackled this by creating a budget category for these items that seem to be unclassified, non-recurrent that eat into your spending. You can only track and manage spending where you know what you are spending on.

Real effect imagine the example below –

So in this case, in one year Sami who earns N500,000 per month can spend up to 20% of his disposable income on unbudgeted spends and at the end of the year would have spent N600,000 he DID NOT budget for.

Think about all the things that this money could have used for? It could have been into a fixed deposit account earning 7%, used to purchase shares, used to start a side business, or even as installment payment for a piece of land in an estate.

The point is that this adds up and its best for you to try and close this gap. Understanding where your money goes is the only way to curb your spending.

Next week we will talk about some practical tips for tracking spending.

photo source: rhrealitycheck

SECURE YOUR BOOTHS AT THE MOTHER AND CHILD EXPO & ADVERTISE IN EXPO MAGAZINE….WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES!!!

HELLO!!! The CountDOWN has began as The Mother and Child Expo is gearing momentum to make its debut. The event (Nigeria’s Largest Parenting Exhibition) which is first of its kind will attract mothers and children and Major stakeholder in the industry. The event will feature exciting and engaging activities billed to create a long lasting experience.

Side Attraction include

• Seminars , Demonstrations and Workshops by various Professional for Pregnant women, Mothers and all participants.
• Great Sales Bargain
• Product Sampling
• Feature Activity Zones  includes Children play area, Diaper Changing Area, Mother’s Lounge Etc
• Daily Fashion Show of both Children & Maternity Trends
• Free Dental Check and Treatment
• Free Immunization for children (Pls bring your Immunization Cards)
• Free Family planning ICT Materials.
• Games, Entertainment
• Goodie bags to participants
• Photo shoots and Red Carpet Moments
• And many More

This Exhibition is FREE to Attend, so bring your friends, families and everyone dear to you and it will afford families and major stakeholders the opportunity to interact with the exhibitors.

Date: Saturday 24th – Sunday 25th May 2014
Venue: The Haven, GRA Ikeja, Beside Arch Bishop Vinning Memorial Church, Lagos.

For More Information please emailsegunopebi@motherandchildexpo.com.ng | Visit: www.motherandchildexpo.com.ng | Like them on Facebook:www.facebook.com/motherandchildexpo | Follow them on Twitter @macexpong | Call :, +234-7030117995, +2348037182121

This Exhibition is Proudly bought to you by

Kristal Stone Promotions Co Ltd.

In partnership with Strands Communication Ltd & Guru Exhibition Ltd.

Endorsed and Supported By The Lagos State Ministry of Health.

Also supported by:

Top Radio, TVC, Inspiration FM, Lagosmums.com, Mamalette.com,  Naijaparents.com, CDMA, Maximun security, LASAA, City people, School Tips, Boom production, information Nigeria, Bella Naija, Southern Shore clinic and many more

I wonder why  black women are running towards, weaves and extensions instead of their natural hair.  Are black women ashamed of our God given beauty?

Source: Shophairwigs.com

I remember when I moved here from the states and how shocked I was at the number of people with extensions that I noticed. Whether it was weaves or braids it seemed as if it was everywhere.  The worst for me was children with extensions in their hair, I saw many children being backed on their mothers backs who had extensions in their hair.  I would go to a function and I would see a sea of weaves.

I said to myself  Wow!!! whoever is supplying the hair for the weaves is making a killing. Initially I used to think to myself and say these women are quite stylish.  But as time passed I noticed it was an everyday thing and not occasional. Being a stylist it was confusing to me the lack of care that went into taking care of our own hair.  As time passed I started to feel it was not about being stylish but almost an underline insecurity or better said “identity crisis”.

The truth is that the hair stores across America and the rest of the world are feeding off millions of women’s diseases, but the media also feeds off. We are constantly being reminded that white skin and long blond hair is beautiful, I am not trying to say that it isn’t, but rather I believe that every type of woman has their own unique beauty. Women of African descent have a rich unique beauty that no other type of woman possesses.

Flipping it I am not saying that in the States women do not wear weaves or braids.  But you would see versatility with women who would rock their loc’s, fro’s or relaxed hair.  More importantly is that I  am actually  concerned with the loss of hair due to the amount of traction, loss of hair, that comes from wearing weaves and extensions constantly.

What about our children? I am also afraid of what we are imprinting in the minds of our daughters and sons.  It is the image that being black is not beautiful but we must teach them that we come in many shades with different features and textures of hair.  We are definitely individuals with flavour.  We need to embrace our culture and who we are and how God made us.  Start to imprint iin our childrens minds and in other cultures and parts of the world that we are gorgeous individuals with lovely natural coils on our head

Let’s start taking care of our God given hair.  It is the one we were born with. If you do not take care of your hair, your hair will not take care of you.

Words from The HairWhisperer

Learn some key skills necessary to build your home in the world we live in today, there are several things to be aware of that will lead to a successful marriage and home life.

Come to the Home Builders Fellowship, equipping women with knowledge to build their homes.

Date: Sunday, May 18th 2014

Time: 4pm

Location: 2 Agoro Odiyan Street, off Adeola Odeku VI.

Join Pastor Funmi Harrison as she takes you through some key principles.

HAPPY CHILDREN’S DAY

WE PRAY FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR CHILDREN

A PROMISING FUTURE, A FUTURE OF OPPORTUNITIES, A FUTURE OF CHOICES, A FUTURE OF FREEDOM.

THEY WILL SURELY SEE A BETTER NIGERIA THAN THEY HAVE BEEN BORN INTO!

Enjoy 50% off quality and trendy clothes for your kids at Carters, delivered to you in Nigeria at a $2/item via @MallforAfrica. Click here to take advantage.

• Visit http://lagosmums.mallforafrica.com
• Download the App
• Choose from one of the over 80 stores from the US/UK
• Use the Promo Code: “Lagmums”
• Shop and Wait to get the items at your door!

Really Simple…Hurry while promo lasts…

Happy Children’s Day!!

Discipline is the process of teaching your child what type of behaviour is acceptable and what type is not acceptable. In other words, discipline teaches a child to follow rules. It sounds so straightforward, yet every parent becomes frustrated at one time or another with issues surrounding children and discipline.

Parents run up against some barriers when trying to teach good behaviour to their children such as Children who are disrespectful and don’t listen; where you seem to repeat things a thousand times and Children who do listen, but defy or deliberately disobey your request for good behaviour.

Accept the Challenge of Establishing Discipline

Your responsibility as a parent is to help your child become self-reliant, respectful, and self-controlled. Relatives, schools, churches, caregivers and others can help. But the primary responsibility for discipline still rests with the parents and you set the guidelines.

Some Discipline Techniques

The discipline techniques you choose may depend on the type of inappropriate behaviour your child displays, your child’s age, your child’s temperament, and your parenting style.

• Reward good behaviour – Acknowledging good behaviour is the best way to encourage your child to continue it. In other words, “Catch him being good.” Compliment your child when he or she shows the behaviour you’ve been seeking.
• Natural consequences – Your child does something wrong, and you let the child experience the result of that behaviour. For example, if a child deliberately breaks a toy, he or she no longer has that toy to play with. Natural consequences can work well when children don’t seem to “hear” your warnings about the potential outcome of their behaviour. Be sure, however, that any consequence they might experience isn’t dangerous.
• Logical consequences – This technique involves describing to your child what the consequences will be for unacceptable behaviour, here you have to spend time explaining. The consequence is directly linked to the behaviour. For example, you tell your child that if he doesn’t pick up his toys, then those toys will be taken away from him.
• Taking away privileges – Sometimes the consequence for unacceptable behaviour may be taking away a privilege. For example, if a child doesn’t complete her homework on time, you may choose to take away television privileges. This discipline technique works best if the privilege is something the child values and is taken away as soon as possible after the inappropriate behaviour (especially for young children)
• Time outs – Time outs should be a quiet, boring place — probably not the bedroom (where the child can play) or a dangerous place like a bathroom. This discipline technique can work with children when the child is old enough to understand the purpose of a time out — usually around age 2 and older, with about a minute of time out for each year of age. Time outs often work best with younger kids for whom the separation from the parent is truly seen as a deprivation.
• Spanking – Spanking done within the right context can be and is very effective. I believe what the bible says that “Don’t fail to discipline your children, they won’t die if you spank them”.

Tips for Maintaining Discipline

Sometimes it is good to notice repeat bad behaviours or discipline issues. These explanations don’t excuse the behaviour, but trying to understand why bad behaviour occurs can help you and your child find ways to prevent the behaviour from happening again and again. For example IF a child acts up when they are hungry or have had a long commute you can make necessary adjustments.

Be consistent

The main thing is to remain consistent. If you punish a bad behaviour sometimes and not sometimes then you don’t build credibility and your child won’t learn. Any technique will fail if you don’t follow through or enforce consequences consistently. If more than one adult is responsible for the child’s discipline, be sure you agree about the approaches you will use.

Adapted from WedMD

Maya Angelou American poet and author, died at her home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina at the age of 86.

Maya Angelou was known for her literacy works, poems, wise words and encouragement. Some of her works include “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.” 

I watched her on Oprah’s MasterClass #Masterclass on TLC where she talked about her life. I learnt was that no matter how challenged your beginning or background was, no matter what your experiences in life have been you can overcome with perseverance, someone believing in you, believing in yourself and the Grace of God.

She didn’t speak till she was 7 or 8 yet she went on to be one of the most influential speakers and writers. She had a teacher who kept encouraging her and who kept telling her that she knew she could and would speak, this same teacher introduced her to books and young Maya loved to read.

She personally survived several personal trials, she was a child of the depression, she grew up in the segregated south, experienced the trauma of childhood rape, gave birth as a teenager!

However her ability to rise above all the challenges she faced gave me encouragement that there is nothing you cannot overcome. You do not have to be defined by your experiences or by what someone else labels you – no matter who they are.

Angelou: In Her Words

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.”

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it.”

“Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”

Rest in Peace Maya Angelou!

Have you taken advantage of the Promo? 20% off shipping with the Promo code “LagMums” visit the website

Lots of stores to shop from for the whole family through MallforAfrica, a shopping App that offers you the opportunity to shop for your family at over 80 stores and have them delivered to you in Nigeria at an affordable price. To take advantage of their 20% shipping discount visit http://lagosmums.mallforafrica.com/, download the App and shop with the promo code “LagMums”!

Some of the stores for the family include -

• Carter’s
• Old Navy
• Macy’s
• Debenhams
• Amazon
• Gap
• Marks & Spencer
• Toys R Us
• Walmart
• and so much more……

*** Additional play time has been added for May 31st at 11.30am and 3pm!***

Tickets are N1,000 for children and N2,000 for Adults.

Shopping and need to get some items for baby?

Download the App from www.mallforafrica.com to assist in getting those items as you expect your baby -

A simple new baby checklist includes -

• Clothing – onsies, undershirts, pyjamas, socks, booties, hats, mittens
• Blankets – receiving, swaddling
• Feeding – Feeding bottles, bibs
• Diapering – changing bag, changing mat, diaper cream, wipes, diapers
• Bath time – towels, soap, shampoo, sponge, baby bath
• Bedtime – crib, mattress, mattress cover, bedsheet
• Other – changing table, rocker, playpen, moses basket
• Transport – car seat, baby carrier
• Grooming – baby nail clippers, nail file, thermometer, baby comb, soft hairbrush,
• For Mum – nursing bra, nursing pads, nipple cream

Order these items from MallforAfrica and have these items shipped directly to you.

The Children’s Place has some great clothing for babies.

Shopping for the Home? Use the MallforAfrica App, download from here and get the items delivered to your doorstep.

Promo Code “LagMums”

One of the things resonating with me recently is that God said he came so that we might live life abundantly! Hmm..let’s ponder on that, God came so that I (we) might  live life abundantly. The first part of this sentence says that the Enemy (thief) comes to kill, steal and destroy but God comes so that we might live life abundantly (John 10:10)!

Did you get that? God came so you, I might live life abundantly. This means that if I am not living life abundantly then something is wrong…that means simply that the enemy is trying to kill, steal or destroy a part of what God has come to do in my life! God’s plan for abundant life means that the enemy’s intent to hinder my abundance is to be made null and void.

So I have declared a take back mission- I am taking back everything that does not pass the test of “living abundantly”. I am a woman on a mission. I am a bit of an intellectual you know so the first stop on understanding this was to dissect the word abundantly.

Abundant(ly)means overflowing, prosperous, happy, more than expected, with joy, present in large quantity, more than adequate, over sufficient, richly supplied, copious, profuse…Ahah all this just for me?

So on my take back mission I am going to tackle each and every area of my life and put it through the “living life abundantly test”.

Area Number One is “Romance”

Yes if you are married you know the first area the enemy tries to destroy is romance. Such a wicked thing really!

While dating I would say “Honey, lets save your money and instead of going out again let’s just stay in and watch a movie.”

Or what about “I can’t wait till we get married and I am all yours”

Or shy with PDA? Public Display of Affection? “ooh Honey don’t kiss me outside you know I am shy”

Are you married and looked in the mirror lately? Can’t remember the last time I went on a date. If we do manage to even get out on a date there is another enemy in the form of the “smartphone” that tags along.

What about romance? After a day in Lagos traffic, office drama, checking homework, running out of diesel, Prayer meeting…..did you say romance?

Then PDA? Had I known I would have to apply for a hug or hand holding private or public, I would not have been shy before!

Anyways all this one now is story…I am taking it all back from the enemy! I want abundant romance, yes I want the date nights back that will be uninterrupted by blackberry or twitter or facebook or instagram or whatsapp Phew!

I am supposed to be enjoying my marriage abundantly, that means more than what I think is ok because God has abundance in mind. After all “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life”. God has already given all I need and told me that he came so I can live life abundantly!

So as I commence my take back mission – I can already visualize it my marriage bubbling, abundantly with romance, date nights, PDA (smile). So what is stopping me? Nothing that I don’t already have the power to overcome!

See you back here …I waka go to Abundance.

WISHING YOU ALL AN AWESOME JUNE!

This article is an excerpt from @TimElmore

How do you identify a healthy, mature child – adult? This is one who has developed intellectually, volitionally, emotionally and spiritually. As a parent this is a good list of qualities to begin developing in your child so by the time he/she becomes an adult these are engrained. The best way for them to pick up these qualities is if every adult around them modelled these behaviours.

See the list of the qualities someone who is matured (or maturing) might possess -

1. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.
One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means a student is able to keep commitments even when they are no longer new or novel. They can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.

2. A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism.
As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.

3. A mature person possesses a spirit of humility.
Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance.

4. A mature person’s decisions are based on character not feelings.
Mature people—students or adults—live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options, and be proactive as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions.

5. A mature person expresses gratitude consistently.
I have found the more I mature, the more grateful I am, for both big and little things. Immature children presume they deserve everything good that happens to them. Mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to most of the world’s population.

6. A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.
A wise man once said: A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self. Certainly this can go to an extreme and be unhealthy, but I believe a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others less fortunate.

7. A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.
Finally, a mature person is teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get the more they realize they need more wisdom. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from adults (teachers, parents, coaches) or from God, in prayer. Only the wise seek wisdom.

Lets start to work on building these in our children from now.

See more at Growingleaders