LM Mum Of The Month: Ayo Olumide.

LagosMums interviews Ayo Olumide, a mum, writer and entrepreneur. Our mum of the month is the author of “Mums In Waiting”, “City Life” and others.  Enjoy this exclusive interview with the our mum of the month - Ayo Olumide.

Please introduce yourself?
My name is Ayo Olumide, married for 9 years, a stay-at-home mum to 3 lovely girls. When I’ve got extra time, I read, write and play tennis.

Tell us about your journey from pregnancy to delivery?

After about 44 months of waiting to conceive, it was exciting to have a positive pregnancy test. Each baby has been different but generally, the first 12 weeks isn’t what you want to look forward to, you are so uneasy, with a mixed bag of emotions, you swing from excitement to exhaustion in one day. The next 12 weeks is generally comfortable but it quickly flies by and you start going down on your energy once more and anxiously waiting for your due date. I had a C-section for all 3 girls, it was quick and sadly didn’t experience ‘labour’.

Tell us about your decision to become an author?

I had been writing simple articles here and there since secondary school but only sat down to write my first four books during NYSC. Partly scared of not getting a job, I thought, I’ll write and sell them. Everyone should be an author because we all have individual stories and experiences to share but inspiration and discipline have kept most of us back.

What type of books do you write?

Mainly whatever I’m experiencing in life at the moment. It’s pretty much sharing my journal with you.

How many books have you written and published thus far?

I’ve written 8 books but published only 6.

Tell us about your journey thus far in the literary world?

It’s a large space out there with all sorts of writers. A decade or two ago, people were still reading physical books but now a lot more people are reading e-books, so one has to keep up with the trend in publishing style. You soon realize some of your titles sell a lot better than other but that doesn’t mean you should stop writing. Writing is slower for me with more kids to raise and less quiet with our frenetic pace in this city we live in

What are the challenges you have faced as a female author?

There is fairly a leveled playing field for all irrespective of one’s gender.

How have you been able to handle the financial constraints?

There are constraints in everything you want to do but you have to look past it to achieve your goals. I’ve learnt to invest in good publishing so the quality of the book stands out. Marketing and advertising is a gamble, there are no guarantees. Don’t expect profits too quickly.

If you could change one thing in the education sector, what would it be?

I would like to change the student’s mindset. Instead of just studying a course whether you like it or under pressure to make money, look for a problem in society you’re passionate to see it resolved, go study about it, leave school and get about solving it. What a difference that would make to us and our communities.

What do you love about motherhood?

The rare opportunity to bring another child into this world, the privilege to nurture and care for them and the miracle to see them growing daily. It’s demanding but rewarding

One word that describes being a Lagos mum (being a mum in Lagos)?

Hectic

What other business do you do aside from being a writer?

Taking care of the kids and managing the home takes up a large chunk of my time daily, writing is what I do in my spare time. Other business is reading and hanging out with my girlfriends

How do you balance work and family? Does the word “balance” really exist?

I no longer work so I can spend time with my family. I could not balance both, working for someone takes up most of your active energy and what’s left is the residual energy for those who matter the most. Work-life balance is hard work ,it’s a continuous and conscious effort to keep everyone a priority, in a city like Lagos, it’s possible but tough to keep it up

What keeps you going?

God’s grace and knowing someday, my little efforts will be rewarded

What  your child/ children name (s)? Why did you give him/her the names?

Feyi, Ife, Oyin. No special reasons apart from the fact that we liked the names. I pray they like the names when they grow up and not change it wondering why we gave them those names

How old is your Son/ Daughter?

2 months, 3 years and 5 years respectively

What is the difference between the way you were brought up and the way you will train your child/children?

Lots of differences, you will agree with me that the times has changed but two things I’m trying to do differently is try to answer every question every child asks, if you don’t answer their questions, they will ask someone else or make up their mind what the right opinion should be. I would like to spend more quality time with each one, baking, swimming, making crafts, reading a bedtime story each evening and praying with them daily

What is the weirdest/ funniest thing that has happened to you as a mum?

Just being in the house one day and next being rushed in the ambulance to a hospital. I’ve learnt to take a break before I break down, never be ashamed to ask for help and support, to stay fit and eat healthy to have the requisite energy to be a mum

What one thing do you think should never be missing from every home?

A key to a room you can go to, lock yourself up when one is overwhelmed just to let off the steam and calm down in a hot tub with a good book for at least an hour I hope

What would you like your child (ren) to remember about you?

That I wasn’t too busy for them but was there for them and that I was a real mum not knowing all the answers but trying to give them my best

What scares you most about being a mother?

If all the effort is ever enough and whether one is making the right decision each time

What advice would you give to women who are considering making writing a career?

Don’t wait for perfect conditions, keep writing, make writing a hobby before a profit making venture

What is one advice you would give to single ladies contemplating marriage?

Don’t be desperate to get married, many who are married want to get out or are enduring it. Be secure in who you are not looking to marriage to give you that security or define who you are. Marriage is a lot of work, be prepared to make compromises to keep the peace and unity.

What lesson has marriage taught you?

Don’t expect much from your anyone so you won’t be disappointed. Depend on God to meet all your physical, spiritual and emotional needs.

What do you wish you had known about marriage?

There’s nothing like being compatible, with the different phases and stages in a marriage, one quickly discovers how incompatible a couple can be

What is the most important skill that a Lagos mum needs?

Ability to multitask.

How do you relax as a family? Where is your favorite hangout?

Eating out with kids at a play area. Eko hotel

What’s your philosophy of life?

Life is too short, make every day count doing what you enjoy not pleasing people.

For Ayo Olumide’s books, they are available on Amazon, eBay, Barnes & Noble.

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Parent -Child Phone Contract

Imagine if parents put in place strict guidelines guarding the use of any smart device or hand held given to their child. The child by signing it understands that there are rules that come with using the device and the parent reserves the right to monitor, restrict and retrieve the device in the case of default or disobedience. See this parent-child contract culled from Start2finish

*This is a contract. Any broken rule will mean a breach of said contract and the taking away of your phone privileges.*

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Isn’t that cool of me to do?
2. I will always know the password. To any account. Period.
3. You are limited to 5 (five) social media accounts. I will know the password to all of these accounts and will check up on these accounts at random, regular intervals. You will not create any accounts without my permission. You will not change the password without me knowing it.
4. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone, after all. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever. Never ever.
5. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 PM every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 AM. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
6. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. (Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration and will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.)
7. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
8. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay out of the crossfire.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
10. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
11. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person. Preferably one of us.
12. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the this phone to change that.
13. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. It is next to impossible to erase a mistake made on the internet. Don’t take a bucket of feathers out on a windy day, cause you will never get them back.
14. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory – not in your phone, but in your mind.
15. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO — fear of missing out.
16. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
17. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
18. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without Googling.
19. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you!

Parents should adopt this!

culled from start2finish

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Deciding how to save or spend is something that should be top of mind. Global money week which commenced on March 9th is an international money awareness celebration which engages children worldwide in learning how money works including saving, creating livelihood, gaining employment and entrepreneurship.  This year’s theme is “Save today, Safe Tomorrow.”

To be able to pass on the saving culture to children, the parents, the mums need to have the necessary skills to teach. Building a sustainable means of livelihood is hinged on setting something aside from your earnings consistently which takes a lot of discipline especially in this part of the world where your income extends beyond your immediate family. A lot of us women would agree that many a times when we look back at our financial positions today, we ponder on what we could have done differently, why we did not start early, what we were thinking of when certain purchases were made, why a month before paying school fees we become irritable, why we can’t just walk away from that stressful job etc.

Some husbands appear ‘settled’ and are able to take full financial responsibility for the entire household whilst their wives take care of the home front without any need to chip in. The reality however is that life is uncertain and unpredictable and as such women in such positions should not allow themselves get carried away with the present without putting something aside for the rainy day. We as women need to take total responsibility for our financial actions and or inactions.

We should seek knowledge about savings and the options available, maintain a budget for our homes, encourage our children to start saving early (have a piggy bank, kids savings account, buy shares etc.), start an education plan that would not allow you access to child’s funds except for his/her education, explore options available in insurance etc. We need to be open and willing to learn about these financial options and not leave it all for our husbands alone.

If you are wondering, How can I start? How much can I start with? How can I get my children on board? What savings instruments are available? What do I need to look out for in an investment option? etc., then be rest assured that at LagosMums, we are not only interested in making you the best Mum and mentor to your children but also someone who is an all-round home builder. Therefore we will be addressing these questions and provide you with the information you need to make wise financial decisions and to save today for a safe tomorrow.

Below are some quick tips to get you started

A. Take stock of your incomings and outgoings in the month of March

B. If you are a salary earner and hoping to collect your next pay check by month end, take time now to plan ahead. After considering A above, what portion of your pay can you set aside monthly for savings/ investment.

C. If you are a business owner and as such might not earn a regular income, can you consider paying yourself a minimum of 10% (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon) from the monies made daily, weekly, monthly or annually. The funds should not be spent but saved.

D. Rather than wait for the school fees pressure to kick in, why not consider a savings vehicle that allows you and your husband set something aside consistently over a period and offers an attractive rate of return.

Stay tuned for the following parts where we explore various financial and investment opportunities. To be continued…

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 It is time for another election and only a few days away for us to go to the polls. How prepared are you for the elections?

Below is a list of things and steps as your prepare for the elections.

• Have you collected your PVC’s (Permanent voters card). The deadline for collection of PVC’s is now March 22nd 2015. 
• If you do not collect your PVC someone else might still use it to vote.
• Encourage everyone in your household, your grown up children, spouse, staff etc to collect their PVC.
• Educate your children on their voting rights. Remind them that elections should be violence free. Ensure that your children / young adults are not used to perpetuate political violence.
• Identify the election booths in your neighbourhood, be sure to steer clear of any unnecessary gatherings and discussions that might escalate into violence.
• Carry out a safety audit of your neighbourhood and ensure that you stay safe.
• We do not expect any issues - but it is advisable to stock up your home with foodstuffs and any other essentials required in the case that you have to remain indoors.
• Stock upon other things such as  - diesel, credit for your phones, necessary medications, fuel etc.
• Security Advise -
  • Avoid large crowds
  • Avoid violent prone areas
  • Avoid political talks and arguments in public
  • Avoid movement at night
  • Listen to the news often to keep you abreast of all happenings
  • Be vigilant as there are people who might want to use the elections as a guise to perpetuate violence and crime.
• On election day get to the polling centre early and wear simple clothes, like jeans and a T-shirt and sunhat. This is not a day for heels. You might want to take a bottle of water and snacks. (Click here for more information on voting process)
• Exercise your right; cast your vote…don’t sell it!

For more information on the elections visit INEC Nigeria website.

Here is to a free and fair and violence free elections!

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Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | Welcoming Our Pet Dog 

My children have been on a quest for a dog for as long as I can remember. They have been preparing us for welcoming our pet dog in anticipation. Whenever we see a dog or visit a friend with dogs they would ask for a dog by using different tactics, they cajole, whine and beg.

They constantly ask us why we say no to their requests for a dog and promise to take care of him or her. DH mentioned he did not like dogs because when he was a child a dog bit him, to which my very logical daughter, said “how can you still be scared about something that happened soo long ago”! – Word

They have been persistent! They request to visit their auntie so they can play with her dog. When we go on holidays they count all the dogs they see on the road and look at them longingly.

They make me remember the widow in the bible who was so persistent in her request for justice/protection, that finally out of exasperation the judge granted her what she wanted (Reference Luke 18:1-8)

In the quest to find a middle ground we got a pet fish which they found boring, they said “hey the fish does not do anything and just goes around and around” – Fair enough. We even got catfish (one of them strangely disappeared which the guard blamed on heavy rainfall that swept the catfish away – I suspect catfish pepper soup).

Orire and her dog at Pet Place

Then they asked for a parrot, they asked for a monkey. We even got them chickens! This happened after we went for pizza and upon seeing a hen they asked – “is this a real chicken”? I thought these are some city children! Asking if a chicken was real or not. So they asked for chickens that could lay eggs and thanks to Gran we got a hen and a cock – still waiting for them to lay eggs. This did not stop the requests for a dog by the way.

I have learnt that children are P-E-R-S-I-S-T-E-N-T! They did not stop asking for a dog as a pet. They just continued to hope that one day we would give in. I wonder if they understand the strategy they used which was to stay persistent, hopeful and to simply wear us down. They have been so strategic that before we knew what was going on,  we the parents, felt bad denying them their “simple” request for a dog.

Our spousal arbitrage was no longer working – I would say “daddy doesn’t want a dog” and he would say “Mummy doesn’t want a dog” to the point that we confused each other and forgot who really didn’t want the dog! They got us to a point that we did not know why and who was saying no anymore.

Finally one day, I had had it! I just felt mean saying “No” a minute longer, so I prayed and sent a whatsapp to DH – who wrote back yes! lets get a dog. So I promptly placed a call to My Pet Place, we agreed that if she had a yorkie we will get one. As it turns out she had one last Yorkshire terrier left and she could be ours. This was the final sign that we were meant to get a puppy.

Our pet and her grandma

So welcome Sophie – Our 4 month old yorkie has arrived at our house! Persistence sure pays off! We shouldn’t forget that.

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Culled from Business 2 Community

Have we ever considered does being a woman have career advantages, women should be aware of these advantages and use it to their advantage both in interviews and on the job especially as they consider roles in the online space.

• Ability to multitask. Women are very accustomed to juggling several different types of responsibilities. Being able to keep many different types of tasks moving forward concurrently is a huge asset to an SEO team.
• Patience. Many women have raised or are raising children, and we’re all biologically programmed to be able to do so. There is no greater need for patience than that! And many aspects of search, especially organic optimization, require patience. SEO is a long term marketing strategy that does not provide instant results, and making changes to test theories does not yield immediate feedback. Being a patient strategist and being able to foster patience in clients and stakeholders is an absolute necessity in this field.
• Analytical thinking. Many women have a tendency to overthink things. The nice way of saying that is that we can be very analytical. Being able to think and rethink (and rethink some more) your way through a challenging data discrepancy or unusual change in traffic patterns is a great problem-solving strength and is crucial to the long term success of search campaigns.
• We like to shop. It’s a fact that women make more purchasing decisions than men in many industries, and that many billions of dollars are spent on female-specific products each year. SEO and SEM are all about marketing and conversion, so truly understanding the buyer is crucial to success. I dare you to find me a guy that can sell a tampon better than a woman.
• People skills. Women are great at the personal side of business. SEO and SEM are quite technical in nature, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need people skills to sell it and make it successful. Being able to show genuine empathy for your potential client’s situation will get you more closed business than the best sales training seminar on earth. That ability comes extremely naturally to many women, as we are biologically programmed to be nurturing. This skill works equally well with getting stakeholder buy-in within large organizations.
• We are socially savvy. The prior two points combine to make women extremely effective at social media and influencer marketing, which has become a core and essential component of SEO. Being able to create effective social media marketing strategies and build relationships with online influencers (many of whom are women themselves) is crucial to SEO success.
• We’re good with money. Last but certainly not least, women have a great track record with increasing ROI. “Fortune 500 companies with at least three female directors have seen their return on invested capital increase by at least 66%, return on sales increase by 42%, and return on equity increase by at least 53%” (Source PDF). Even if not running their own company, this same propensity to be talented at generating a return will manifest itself in search campaign results.

As you consider roles in the increasing digital world consider this characteristics as assets.

photo source: howtogetthemanofyourdreams

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LagosMums is a distributor of the Mall For Africa cards please contact sales@lagosmums.com to get a card and to start shopping!

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This is a post from my article on The W Community.

I feel like my march has been set on steroids. This year I have been more intentional and more determined to make things happen. It has been helped with church calling for a corporate fast in January, then we stepped into February with praise – praising in advance for the things we are believing God for and thanking him for what he has done. This has given me a different perspective for committing myself to my passions.

March is International Women’s History month and the message for women is #MakeItHappen. It has really resonated with me. This month has been about marching on and moving forward. Making things happen by putting action behind plans and surrounding myself with positivity. This has included meeting amazing women who feel and think the same way. Women who believe that if you think big, take action and have faith there is really no limit.

I met the amazing Mrs Obiageli Ezekwesili who was such a beautiful combination of tender wife, strong woman and learner all at the same time. She shared with us that a woman who doesn’t live up to all her realities is living a sub optimal life.

This mother of ours is still a learner shown by her embracing the social media tool twitter and using it to champion the cause #bringbackourgirls. Using the tools of the day in a positive way is our goal and call.

She explained what our realities are; first and foremost a human being then a daughter, sibling, wife and mother. These are all parts of who we are and we have to find an equilibrium to make them all work together. If you have swung too far away from being one of the things you need to get back in balance.

I had the privilege of learning from Mrs Udo Okonjo who encourages you to be a person with focus. As women we should stop hobbling along uncertainly but rather we should adopt and imbibe a can do attitude. We should not wait for permission instead of asking “who will let me”, we should think “who will stop me”. Believe that you can make it happen and more importantly better believe that you are already making it happen everyday! Whether in the marketplace, the home or the boardroom.

I refuse to let any ball drop,all my realities deserve my best. It is my job to learn how to keep things in equilibrium. My equilibrium will be different from yours but we can all achieve a healthy balance.

You are not measured by being on Forbes 500 list but rather you are measured by first seeing yourself as someone who has all it takes. So appreciate the people in your life, make a new friend, join a community and reach out to a woman today. We should not only celebrate each other once a year.

To all my sisters, friends and mums we can and we already Make it Happen. So we celebrate all mothers, we celebrate every woman. Being a mother is more than physically giving birth to a child, we are all nurturers and the bedrock of society.

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Things change faster than we can keep up and accordingly education needs to prepare children for the future ahead and not for the present or the past. Parents, educators all agree that the world and the needs of the future keep changing and it is time for the education that children are receiving is altered to adequately prepare children for the future. 

A question educators must keep asking is “What skills will the adults and workforce of upcoming decades need?” and how will their training today equip them to be able to solve the global challenges the future will present?

“Schools of the future will have to create conditions in which children are encouraged to find their innate skills and passions, maintain their creativity and celebrate who they are—so that they might be their most authentic selves’ says Sir Ken Robinson, a world-renowned speaker on education.

Global Exposure – One way to prepare children for the future is to make sure they are having global interactions. One way of achieving this is with International schools. These schools are naturally multicultural and global in nature thereby enabling children to have a range of experiences that open their eyes and ears to the experiences of others and worlds beyond their own immediate family and culture.

Core Skills - Whatever the future holds, the global workforce will still need core skills. Literacy, numeracy and technology skills transcend traditional subject boundaries. The core curriculum of schools now and in the future must require and maintain high standards in core areas.

Technology - the future will depend on technology therefore the use of technology in learning situations is vital.

Social Media - The world is increasingly connected. Children need to be formally and informally learning about how to interact with others in a positive and constructive way. They must be aware of the implications of their actions, as well as develop an awareness of both their own contribution to interactions.

Children of the future will need schools to make a difference, more so than at any time in the past. Schools must inspire and galvanise children, encourage them to become individuals who challenge themselves, who look outside the box, who socially network, see links, innovate and think for themselves. They must help children become adults who truly have a love of learning and a passion for finding and harnessing their innate strengths—whatever they are.

Above all, schools must help children become people who are determined to succeed, relish challenge and seek solutions wherever they may originate. Children of today must be prepared to become the innovators of tomorrow.

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We get a calculator and use it everyday without thinking about who invented it. Here is a list of things children invented that we all use today. Am sure you did not know about many of these. So encourage your child to be creative and to think up solutions.

1. Calculator - In 1642, French wunderkind Blaise Pascal designed the first counting machine at the age of 18. He made somewhere between 20 and 50 of them, but nobody was interested; 300 years later, the calculator became all the rage. In 1968, the programming language PASCAL was named after him.

2. Braille – Louis Braille, invented the Braille in 1824, at the age of 15. He was born in Coupvray, France, in 1809 — lost his sight when he was just 3 years old. While attending the National Institute for Blind Youth in Paris, he and his classmates yearned for books that were easier to read than those available in the current format.

3. Earmuffs – In the 19th century 15-year-old Chester Greenwood invented the earmuffs. Tired of cold ears while ice skating in his home state of Maine, Greenwood made a wire loop and asked his grandmother to sew fur onto the ends. He improved the model, and in the early 1870s he obtained a patent for Greenwood’s Champion Ear Protectors. He made a fortune keeping U.S. soldiers’ ears warm during during World War I, and he went on to create more than 100 other inventions.

4. Television - 15-year-old Philo T. Farnsworth was one of the most important contributors to the invention of the television. In 1921, the teen had sketches, diagrams and notes to make an electronic television system. By the time he died in 1971, the average TV set included around 100 items that he originally patented.

5. Waterskiing - In 1922, an enterprising 18-year-old water-sports enthusiast, Ralph Samuelson, came up with the idea of waterskiing on Lake Pepin in Minnesota.

6. Superman - Two 18-year-olds who loved comic books and science fiction, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, began making cartoons and homemade fanzines while they were still in high school. One of their creations was a caped superhero called “the Superman” who appeared in the 1933 short story, “The Reign of the Superman.” 

7. Trampoline - 16-year-old gymnast George Nissen cobbled together a rectangular steel frame and a canvas sheet in his parents’ garage in an effort to create a bouncy version of the net. He called it a bouncing rig. Nessen was given the honor of testing out the equipment before the Games began. He died in 2010 at the age of 96.

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The woman is the bedrock of society we all know that women are powerful, women are multi-taskers and women are able to do so much. Women carry a lot on their minds on a daily basis as well as wear many different hats.

Can women have it all? There are two general camps on this matter of having it all, it is either a definite yes or an empathic no.

I personally do not think the woman referred to in Proverbs 31 would have been mentioned if all her qualities were not attainable. Remember the bible is not a story book or fairytale it is real, it is the truth and it is for us to be encouraged. So lets look at all the realities of the P31 woman and see yourself in her.

What does Proverbs 31 say about you?

You are a capable, intelligent and virtuous woman.

You are more precious than jewels and your value is far above rubies or pearls.

You have the heart of your husband, he has confidence in you and he trusts you completely. You are his comforter and his encourager, and do him good all the days of your life.

You are a hard-worker, you are creative and make things out of nothing. You have willing hands and you work with it.

You search far and wide to provide for your family. You rise up early and provide for your household including your domestic staff.

You carefully consider how to invest, you are careful and prudent with your time and money.

You equip yourself with strength spiritually, mentally and physically for your God-given tasks. You make your arms strong and firm with a support system to back you up.

You are constantly on watch for yourself and your family. You are prayerful and know that your God answers you.

You are hospitable and you care for the needy, those who are needy for food, for encouragement and in need of prayers.

Your home looks good and well put together. You look good and your clothing is well put together. You have style!

Your husband is known in the relevant circles, he is relevant and he sits among wise counsel.

You are a smart business woman, you make things that others buy.You make money with your gifts, skills and talents.

You are optimistic you look forward to the future with anticipation; You know that you and your family are ready for the future. You are not fearful because of the current season you are always ready to face life.

You speak life, when you speak it is full of godly wisdom, kindness and wise counsel. You do not partake in tearing people down.

You make sure your house is in order and running well. You make sure your house does not harbor any idleness, gossip, discontent or self-pity. You are feeding your family with the right attitude to life.

You are blessed and loved, your children and your husband are proud of you, shower you with praises and speak highly of you. You are loved.

You are exemplary, people talk about you and use you as an example of a woman who is virtuous and has strength of character. In short you excel in all you do.

You understand that what really makes you beautiful is from the inside. You fearfully worship your Lord.

You will eat of the fruit of your hands and your works will be appreciated and praised.

Celebrate yourself you are a wonderful and amazing woman!

photo source: amyransom, pintrest

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Easter Holidays are coming up and LagosMums has compiled a list of Easter Camp Guide Lagos 2015 edition to keep the children active over the Easter break. 

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There are more new apps being released faster than parents can catch up with an increasing list of dangerous apps for your kids. Gone are the days of thinking you are a new age parent by being aware of Facebook, twitter and Instagram. New apps are constantly being created to take advantage of the illusion of privacy. It’s extremely important to monitor what your child downloads. Always know their App Store password. Here are some dangerous apps to be aware of, some new, some not.

Whisper – This app allows you to post secrets anonymously and also allows you to chat with other users in your geographic area.

Why It’s Dangerous: Many children are drawn to communicating with strangers, feeling that their secrets are safer with them than with their friends or parents. This app is a perfect tool for ill-intentioned strangers looking to connect with young people because it allows you to exchange messages with people nearest to you (so anonymity can be easily lost).

Snapchat – Snapchat is the original “private” messaging service – you can send a picture or video with a text message attached and only allow them to see if for a few seconds, and then it’s gone. Snapchat would like for you to believe that the photo or video is deleted, but that’s not always the case. (Similar apps: Poke, Wire, and Wickr)

Why It’s Dangerous – Kids can receive (or send) sexually inappropriate photos. This app also makes kids feel like they can “sext” or send inappropriate pictures without consequences because the image will self-destruct automatically. The truth is that nothing sent over the internet disappears. There are always ways to retrieve and capture those images. Any person with the right tools and knowledge can get your information.

Poof – Hides other apps on your phone. You select which apps you would like to hide and their icons will no longer show up on your smartphone screen.

Why It’s Dangerous – If children have apps that they want to keep hidden from their parents, all they have to do is download this app and “poof,” their screen is clear of any questionable apps. So, if you see the poof app on their phone, you may want to ask them what they are hiding.

YikYak – All Yik Yak users are anonymous. They don’t create a profile or account, but they can post comments that are accessible to the nearest 500 people (within a 1–5 mile radius). A psychiatrist called this the most dangerous app he’d ever seen because it “can turn a school into a virtual chat room where everyone can post his or her comments, anonymously. Untruthful, mean, character-assassinating short messages are immediately seen by all users in a specific geographic area.”

Why It’s Dangerous: This app is causing problems in schools across the United States, with students maliciously slandering teacher, staff, and other students. In fact, several schools have now banned smart phones from campus because of this particular app.

Kik Messenger – A free app-based alternative texting service that allows texts/pictures to be sent without being logged in the phone history. (Similar apps: Viber, WhatsApp)

Why It’s Dangerous – Makes it easier for your child to talk to strangers without your knowledge since it bypasses the wireless providers’ short message services (SMS). Children also think they can “sext” without parents finding out. In addition, strangers can send your child a “friend request.”

Tinder – Users post pictures and scroll through the images of other users. When they think someone is attractive they can “flag” the image. If that person has also “flagged” them in return, the app allows you to contact them.

Why It’s Dangerous – This app, and similar apps such as Down, Skout, Pure, and Blendr, are primarily used for hooking up.

What Do I Do Now?

Remember, your child’s safety is more important than their privacy. As a parent, you aren’t being nosy by checking their cell phone on a regular basis; you are being responsible. Establish device rules. Make them sign a Parent-Device Contract. Let them know that you’ll be checking up on them – and then actually do it!

Most children do not see the danger of how much information they are putting out there. Make it real for them. Make sure they understand that sharing everything with the world isn’t a good policy.

For more information on what you can do and protect your child read more here at start2finish

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What is a lie? colours of lies? Are there some lies that are okay.

In the case of lying, however, many people do it without even thinking about it, which means, in order to protect your health, you’ve first got to identify what constitutes a lie. Here are five examples that might surprise you, as reported by Psychology Today.

• Controlling a Response: Let’s say you’re telling a friend about an argument you had with your spouse. If you shade the truth by only telling your side of the story, or altering the way in which you actually behaved to reflect more favourably on yourself, it’s lying. You are, in fact, altering or controlling your friend’s response, perhaps to get them to say what you want to hear.
• Lying by Omission: Intentionally leaving out significant or relevant details is a form of lying and will not promote mutual trust or honest communication.
• Exaggerations: Embellishing on your resume, exaggerating your skills, or inflating events when you tell a story are all examples of lies that will eventually deem you untrustworthy.
• Self-Protection: This is a form of lying in which you put a guard up so as to feel less vulnerable and avoid getting hurt. It often involves downplaying your emotions or pretending you’re not interested or involved in order to protect yourself.
• Gossip or Covert Communication: If you talk about someone behind their back, it will usually involve lying at some point (often by denying the gossip to the person being gossiped about). It’s better to only engage in open, honest communications that you don’t feel you have to cover up after the fact.

The next time you are tempted to tell a small white lie or to exaggerate. Remember that if it is not the truth then it’s a lie. children are always watching and getting their cues from you.

Source: Mercola photo source: pinterest

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Eating meals together, making exercise fun are some of the ways that healthy lifestyle for the whole family can become a permanent part of your lives forever. A child who grows up seeing healthy living as part of a “lifestyle” will most likely grow up to be a healthy adult. When something becomes a habit and therefore a lifestyle, it is easier to self-regulate and stay on track.

There are several ways that it can be incorporated for the whole family, remember that children learn most effectively by what they see and not what they are told. So a healthy lifestyle has to be for the whole family it cannot just be for the children. The children are being asked to eat vegetables and fruits on a deaily basis but then do not see anyone else in the family living by these same ruls? Maybe instead of a piece of apple daddy is eating a slice of pizza, or instead of a side of vegetables mummy piles on a mound of rice!

So here are some tips for the whole family to stay healthy together

• Be a good role model. Research shows that children and teens really do listen to their parents, and follow what they see their parents doing. It’s likely if you eat well, move more, and spend less time in front of the TV or computer, your kids will, too.

• Have Mealtime Together. When you eat meals together as a family not only do you benefit from family time together, but you also get to reinforce what your children are eating and make sure everyone is eating healthy. It might surprise you how many children are consuming indomie on a daily basis because it is easy for the nanny to make. No food needs to be totally cut out – but a balanced meal is important. Make snack time healthy with fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and low-fat dairy to help your child get all the nutrients he needs. even when snacking.

• Exercise Together. Make exercise fun, move together as a family and children will grow up with the habit of exercising. Everything we eat is stored as energy and if this is not expended it causes an imblanace. There are many ways to get everyone moving as a family. It will differ for each family, but simple things like stretching every morning, getting an exercise DVD for home use, going for a walk around the neighbourhood. My favourite one is dancing with the kids, we have fun and we burn calories together.

• Emotional Health.  Have time to relax, relieve stress and spend time communicating and bonding as a family. There is no substitute for a family where the parents are engaged in the childs life. This is one of the surest ways to ensure that you are part of your child’s life, you are able to impart your values into your children. When a family is happy they live healthier lifestyles.

• Reduce Screen time. this is one of the major ways to ensure that a family is healthy. Experts advice reducing screen time to two hours a day for children. “Screen time” means television screens, computer monitors, and even the handheld devices we use for checking email, listening to music, watching TV, and playing video games. Once again children will learn from what they see you doing, so if you are on the computer or your smart device all day, they will tend towards this as well.

Are there some other tips you can share on how to live a healthy lifestyle as a family?

References: nhlbi, healthychildren.org

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If a plane can land there and there is a seller, then it is possible to buy almost anything online. The internet has revolutionised access to goods. More and more interesting products end up for sale online and one of it is breast milk.

Would you buy breast milk online
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For several reasons there are mums willing to sell their excess breast milk and there are other mums and caregivers who might be interested in purchasing breast milk. It is clear that the advantages of feeding baby breast milk are numerous. However whether this leads to buying breast milk and online for that matter is the big question.

One of the real dangers of buying milk online is that there is no way to verify the source of the milk. No way to verify that the milk has been handled in a safe way or has been preserved in a safe way. Or that it is actually breast milk!

Breast milk banks exist specifically for the sale of breast milk. According to Yahoo Parenting, “At milk banks they screen donors for viruses, they pasteurise the milk, and they train staff and donors in the proper collection and handling of expressed milk, including how to properly wash your hands, sanitise the breast, sterilise pumps, and store milk.’

While there are those who buy breast milk through the online option, there are risks to this Some of the risks of buying online from unknown sources includes a high risk of viral contamination, risk of milk containing BPAs, even risks that the person you are buying from maybe an IV drug user or taking prescription drugs that we know make it into the breast milk.

Currently buying breast milk and buying it online is a big trend in the United States.

Is it possible we have a breast milk bank in Nigeria or an online breast milk store? Would you buy breast milk form any source? What are your thoughts?

Source: YahooParenting

Related articles across the web

• Experts warn breast milk sold online should be screened for diseases

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Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | Screaming Girls 

Screaming girls, artist taking his shirt off? This was the scene at a recent school fun day. Now I was not there to witness this but I was talking to a mum who expressed how appalled she was that it happened. So the question really was “who is to blame”? Is it the artist who decided to respond to the attention by taking off his shirt? It probably did not matter to him that he was on school grounds, he is an artist and wanted to further impress the screaming girls around him.

Is it the school that invited an artist to a venue with excited teenagers that is to blame? Or is it the girls who were screaming and showing excitement around the artist who need to be scolded?

I spoke to a dad who shared his feelings, he pointed out that it was the school who decided to bring an artist who could do this sort of thing. He further said “they didn’t exactly bring Timi Dakolo to sing Great Nation” (great song by the way). I am sure Timi would certainly not have removed his shirt even if there were screaming girls trailing him. In summary if you create an environment for such behaviour then you cannot really complain when it does happen.

Appalled mum expressed her opinion that “he should have known better and realised that he was in the presence of young impressionable girls”. Mum two says, “well he is an artist and conditioned to respond to a crowd”.  Afterall it was business for him and he wouldn’t necessarily have different rules because he was on school grounds. The girls were not dressed in uniform and some of the girls look grown up and don’t exactly look like “little girls”.

Should the girls be blamed? Should they not have been screaming at all because an artist came to their school?

Another mum reminded us of when RMD visited Queens College back in the day and girls were screaming up and down the corridor, the difference was that RMD simply waved or smiled and that was it. The whole school did get punished for screaming and told that this was no way for ladies to behave.

So who really is to blame? maybe it is just that girls will be girls and artists will be artists. The school certainly did not have to and rather chose to  bring this artist to a school event.

Perhaps schools should put rules in place

• Attention artists – clothes must stay on
• Students no screaming allowed for celebrities
• School rule - Non-PG artist are not allowed to perform at school functions

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LagosMums Fashion Looks – Happy Friday and Safe Elections! 

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How would you caption this photo the day?

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There are a lot of changes that occur during pregnancy that you should be aware of. The best source of getting accurate information about your pregnancy is from your doctor and be sure to discuss any changes with your doctor.

Body Changes

Changes in your body during pregnancy will occur during the different trimesters. The first and the last trimester are typically when women feel the most discomfort. The second trimester is usually a bit of a reprieve with many women being more comfortable and enjoying this portion of the pregnancy. The first and third trimesters, however, are when the most changes occur and maybe when expectant mums are most uncomfortable and ill.

Morning Sickness

Morning sickness or a feeling of nausea any time of the day is a very common result of pregnancy and happens most frequently in the first trimester. There also may be an increased sensitivity to smells which will trigger nausea. Sometimes these smells are ones that are typically enjoyed when not pregnant but can cause nausea during pregnancy. Eating bland food when a person is feeling nauseated also helps alleviate the symptoms. Chewing ginger also works for some pregnant mums.

Breast Changes

Breasts may begin to enlarge very early in the pregnancy and will continue to throughout the pregnancy. You may also notice tenderness and increased sensitivity. This is the time to invest in a few well-fitting maternity bras preferably without under wire, which will ensure comfort as the breast grows and changes.

Thirst

Urinary frequency and thirst is another common side effect of pregnancy. Women tend to be more thirsty and need more nourishment, this is a time to drink plenty of water. Drinking more fluids coupled with the uterus growing and pressing on your bladder will cause most women to have to urinate a lot more frequently than they used to. This is common throughout the pregnancy but is most pronounced during the first and last trimesters.

Stomach Changes

Stomach problems are another concern including upset stomach, indigestion, constipation and heartburn. There are changes in your uterus that slows the metabolism.  Foods that may not normally trigger these problems may start to bother you. Eating foods that are high in fiber will help alleviate these issues. Try to stay away from spicy foods or foods you find that trigger adverse reactions. If you exercise, wait for approximately two hours before partaking in any activity to allow the food to digest.

Sleeping Difficulty

If you are having trouble sleeping while you are pregnant, try lying on your side and using pillows under your stomach and between your legs. This added cushion will often increase the comfort, allowing you to have a more restful sleep. Doing relaxation exercises, taking a warm bath and going to bed only when you are tired will also help with feelings of restlessness. If you are having trouble sleeping, it may be best to simply get up for awhile and go back to bed later.

Changes to skin, nails and hair

Skin, nails and hair are also affected when pregnant. You may find your skin excessively oily or dry and your hair may lose its luster or thin a bit. These changes will go back to normal after you give birth. The increased hormone levels will affect this significantly. It is usually recommended that you avoid doing things such as coloring ore getting a perm at least during the first and third trimester.

Swelling of hands and feet

Swelling of the feet and limbs can be pronounced, you may also get some varicose veins. Lying on a bed and propping your feet up will help with swelling. Staying off your feet and relaxing for awhile will also help. If you experience leg cramps, do some leg stretches to loosen up your muscles.

All of the changes in your body during pregnancy will go away after you give birth. Having pregnancy information from your doctor will help you to cope with these changes in your body and to understand what to do. Remember that this is a temporary condition and even if you are uncomfortable, your body will go back to normal shortly after giving birth. Talk to other mums as well as there are a host of safe remedies that other mums will be able to share with you.

Have a safe pregnancy and delivery!

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