Abimbola Dare is the author of The Small Print - A Chrisitan Fiction that touches on love, forgiveness, repentance and draws readers to the powerful presence of God in our lives!

About Abimbola Dare

Abimbola grew up in Lagos, Nigeria. She attended Vivian Fowler Memorial College for girls and moved the UK for her first degree and Masters. She is married to her best friend, a man she fondly calls “Chinese eyes” and is blessed with the a beautiful daughter. Although she’d always found it easier to communicate her feelings in writing, Abimbola didn’t start writing for the general public until she created her hugely popular blog “bimbyladsblog” which quickly became one of the most visited blogs in Nigeria at the time.

A few years later, she took a break off her blog to write The Small Print.  The Small Print was a top 25 Amazon UK best selling novel in Christian Fiction category and has been featured in Genevieve Magazine, TW Magazine, Vanguard Nigeria, Bella Naija, Lagosmums and many other online platforms. She works in publishing, a job where she gets to breathe in the wonderful smell of books day in day out.  Abimbola works in a leading publishing firm in the UK, a dream job because she can get to smell books all day long. 

When she isn’t writing, or working, or being a wife and a mum, Abimbola is stares into the distance, thinking about a possible plot twist for an imaginary novel.

Abimbola defines Christian fiction

Christian fiction is a novel that is written primarily for the sole purpose of drawing readers to the Christian world view with a message of redemption and grace. It is fiction inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Why I wrote the Small Print

Many years ago I picked up my laptop and started a blog. Turns out the blog was a hit because *insert shocked face*… my mother, her friends, my pastor,  our house help in naija, and anyone else you can think off, found out about it. The genius that I am, I had used a combo of my first name and maiden name as blog title. So, I couldn’t deny that it wasn’t me. Feeling undeniably unmotivated to continue to blog on a personal level, I decided to start a story. It was supposed to be a short story. Two chapters. End of story. But for some mad, crazy reason, people seemed to enjoy the story. And for an even madder, crazier reason, I couldn’t seem to be able to stop writing. Eventually I completed the badly written novel.

Then I got pregnant. Wide and huge and unable to write or blog…or eat… (Yeah right). I decided to take a break off blogging. I had a baby, and found myself in a deep abyss of intense boredom. So I picked up the book, and started to polish it. As I worked hard on the novel, day and night, thrilled at myself for having the guts to come back to the book, I gave my self a deadline to complete, and to find a publisher- yes- one of the big six. I wanted to win literary prizes. So I typed furiously, night and day, vowing to top the charts with my best seller.

About 50,000 words into The Small Print- (think it was called The contract or something then), I felt a stirring in my spirit to make the novel Christian fiction. In fact, it wasn’t a stirring; the instruction was as loud as a siren in a graveyard. The Holy Spirit did not want me writing any other type of books, apart from Christian fiction. Seriously? I had never even heard of Christian fiction. Never seen a book that talked about Christ, weaving the salvation message into the characters lives, so I ignored the voice, pushed it to the back of my mind. The next day, I was in church, and a friend comes up to me and says: “Bimbo, I was staring at my bookshelf yesterday, and I saw this novel- something asked me to give it to you.” Yep- you guessed it. It was Christian fiction. A novel by Francine Rivers called “and the shofar blew”….. My very first Christian fiction! I read that book in one sitting and within two days, I had deleted 40,000 words and started to re-write The Small Print. In the process, the Lord gradually stripped off the desire to be recognized, toned down the hunger for literary prizes and helped me to focus on the message of the novel, the message of redemption and forgiveness and hope. And it was with that strength and encouragement from The Holy spirit that I wrote the Small Print. I know now, that this is what I was called to do. And as God gives me strength, I will keep writing books that Glorify Him, and cause hope to stir in your hearts that regardless of what life throws at you, there is a God.

A year or so later, the finished manuscript was born, but like a newborn baby, it was covered with all sorts of gooey that needed serious cleaning up. I enrolled TSP in a contest (won an award there- yay!), I joined a creative writing school, hired a professional editor and several editions later… the novel was complete. I did not even bother looking for a publisher. Why? Because I had written a novel that didn’t seem to fit into any market. It wasn’t African American Christian fiction, It wasn’t literary fiction, wasn’t suspense, pure romance, or contemporary fiction. It had all the elements…..yet it seemed a bit out of place. So I did it myself. I loved writing the book, loved the moments I spent in prayer, asking God to direct my work and sharpen my characters. But best of all, I love the comments I have been receiving from people that have read the book. The entire process has been an amazing blessing.

Any other books in the works now?

Yes I am working on another novel, written to be the sequel to the small print, but I may change my mind and make it a stand alone novel. I am excited about it. I also plan to write a short story now and then, as my time permits, and with God’s grace.

Will you continue writing Christian fiction?

I was called by God to write Christian Fiction and will stay in it becasue it came as a direction from God. I have no choice on the matter

You can get a copy of the book from?

- Amazon

- From Nigerian Bookstores:-

Patabah bookstores Adeniran Ogunsanya Shopping Mall,

Laterna Bookstores,13 Oko Awo Close, VI,

The Hub Bookstore, Shoprite Lekki. Debonair Yaba

- Visit Abimbola’s website

**Abimbola has given a copy of her book, The Small Print, to one LagosMums member. The first LagosMums member to comment on this Mum of the Month post will win the book**

We are open, Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm daily and on Saturday 9am to 12noon.

Marian Osolake

Dr. Marian Osolake MBChB MRCGP

(Consultant Family Physician/Medical Director)

When it comes to spending time with children, do you spend your time engaging them, entertaining them or doing a little of both?  Before you can fully answer that question, you may need to explore the difference between the two.

When caregivers engage children their time is spent being actively involved with the kids.  Engaging children requires active participation from both the caregiver and the child. When caregivers actively play with children, they are engaging them.  Caregivers might engage children by playing blocks with them, dancing with them, playing a game with them, or being involved in dramatic play with them.

When caregivers entertain children their time is spent passively involved with the children. Entertaining children is not interactive. In fact, it’s mostly one-sided with the child fulfilling the role of audience. Entertainment requires observation. When caregivers take the children to the movies or put on a television show for them to watch, they are entertaining them.

The purpose of engaging children is to help focus their attention so that learning can happen. The purpose of entertaining is to create a pleasurable experience. Engagement involves children being creative and solving problems, while entertainment involves children watching others be creative and solve problems.  While some entertainment can be educational, that’s not its primary purpose.

For many caregivers, given the integration of technology in everyday life, it often requires some entertaining to get the children interested before you transition to engaging them. And while some learning may come from entertainment, when children are engaged, real and lasting learning occurs.

As you consider how you spend time with the children in your care, ask yourself:

• Am I actively interacting with the children?
• How does the entertainment I offer deepen or enhance their learning experience?
• Is the activity the children are doing designed to benefit them or me?
• Am I nurturing the children’s sense of curiosity about themselves and their world?
• Am I providing tools for hands-on learning?
• Is technology trumping your relationship?
• Are we going places more than doing things together?

If your answers lead you to believe the children would benefit from more engagement and less entertainment, consider spending more time engaging the children by:

• Playing play-dough
• Building blocks
• Doing arts and crafts together
• Playing board games
• Having a tea party
• Rolling a ball back and forth
• Taking part in fantasy play
• Playing outside
• Putting on a puppet show
• Baking cookies.

While having fun is certainly important, providing opportunities for interaction, hands-on learning and problem solving can create an environment that promotes active learning, which will yield lasting results.

From becomeananny.com, visit the site here

Bodyworks is starting something new this year a ‘Movement Club’ for overweight teenagers. Starting with 13-16year old girls but by April this year we will also include the 9-13 year olds.

Girls Rock Movement club

Overweight children are more likely to become overweight or obese adults. It is an extremely difficult cycle to break. An unhealthy diet and a sedentary lifestyle are known risk factors for the three leading causes of death in adults – cancer, stroke and cardiovascular disease.

Our objective: To teach young girls to love their bodies.

Our Aim:

1. Educate overweight teens on how to exercise and maintain an active life; overweight teenagers are more likely to have risk factors associated with cardiovascular disease (such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes). Uterine fibroids and menstrual irregularities. They are also more likely to stay overweight as adults.
2. Teach young teens how to eat right, by teaching them how to combine their foods without feeling deprived or like they are on a diet. They will learn how to make simple meals, they will learn healthy alternatives to their favorites, as they learn to take care of their bodies from the inside.
3. To help teenage girls raise above the self esteem and self confidence issues they may be experiencing by being overweight at this delicate time in their lives where they are developing physically, and learning about themselves and who they are.

This development can be deeply affected by the very strong media images that portray skinny images as the ideal barometer for beauty. The teasing of their mates and adults don’t help as well. These images and remarks are imprinted on the subconscious of the girls and negatively affect their development; socially, psychologically and emotionally.

Target age: 14-16 year old and overweight.

Club meets: Two times a week, Tuesday 4pm – 5pm and Saturdays 10:30AM- 12Noon.

Charges: 50,000 per school term

Club starts: February 2^nd 2013

Activities:

50mins of movement: At every club meet, the girls will have movement’s sessions like cardio, dance and Pilates. The intensity of the sessions will start light and will grow as the girls get fitter.

Physical games that are fun and build team spirit will also be incorporated into the sessions. Games like sack race, hopscotch, jump rope, etc

‘Healthy chops’ is a Nutrition focused talk that will take place every Saturday after the session. It will be a mix of presentations and demonstrations. The girls will learn how to design and plan healthy meals.

Body image; this part of the session is where we will sit as a group and talk about body image issues that the girls might have. A healthy body image will be encouraged. We will sometimes have invited guests who have been overweight or are currently overweight or have had body image issues come a share part of their experiences with us.

Progression: The support and involvement of the parent is very important to the progression of the girls. We will give feedback on the progress of each girl and we will provide you with tips on how to help your daughter maintain a healthy lifestyle.

If you have any questions, please call me on 08067784977

Yours faithfully,

Oyinkansola Talabi

Wellness Director

click here for a GIRLS REG FORM

(Image License: Creative Commons)click to enlarge

source: Bizcommunity

MUMMY MAKE-UP by Tracy Nneka Osokolo

Tracy Nneka Osokolo is the author of “Red Pepper and English Tea” and a resident writer at the London 2012 Olympics Festival at the Southbank Centre. Tracy will be writing a regular column for LagosMums!

Working twenty hours a week, fifty kilometers away from home and being Fiona’s mum, has gained me so many skills I never thought I’d need. For instance, making up.

To set the record straight, as a teenager and even as an undergraduate at the university, I hated make-up. It just seemed like so much hard work for something that was obviously fake. In essence, I needed a logical reason to put it on my face. I did get a reason when in a Harvard Review edition it aid that recent studies in the USA showed that women who wore make-up were perceived as more competent at their jobs than women who didn’t wear make-up. Mind you, this research did not affect the looks of men in business.

I never got that bit as a geek in school, but now a young woman, I know that ‘packaging’ is key in a city like Lagos, especially when it came to the money-making part. So my bestie, Laura, helped me out by recommending make-up products that looked most natural and that gave me a more sophisticated look.

This is my routine: On working days I leave home at 6am in a danfo, at the bus stop closest to our home. Hubby waits for my bus to leave for CMS before he drives off. It is a two-and-half hour drive so I start by eating my breakfast while the aroma torments the other equally hungry employees who rushed out of the house without eating. After eating, I wipe my hands with a cleansing wipe … my travelling neighbours staring at me. Next, I remove my make-up bag from my handbag. It has pictures of the Taj Mahal embossed all over it.

When I zip it open, I bring out my light green compact powder by Clinique. Luckily, the lady at the shop in Oxford Street not only gave me the exact colour code that Laura recommended, she also gave me a product compatible with my tropical climate in Nigeria. Since it’s only the office I am going to, I only apply a base powder. Next, I bring out my dark blue tiny-toothed comb. I use it to shape my eye brows in place. Then, I bring out my no-need-to-sharpen eyeliner which I got from a Super Drug store (thanks to my niece-in-law). I use it to make a fine line under my left and right eyes.  I move gently as the roads get bumpy so that I don’t hurt my eyeballs. Next, I bring out my liquid eyeliner (which I also got from Super Drug) to make a fine line just above my eye lashes.

Both eye pencils aren’t actually pencils though; but they are shaped like pencils to make it easy for me to grip the stem as the danfo jerks, dumps its tyres into potholes and matches the brakes in a hurry to avoid any bashing. My next step is to bring out my sets of eye shadows to choose the colour that best fits my clothes for the day. I usually start with a bright colour which I place on top of the liquid eyeliner, directly above my eyelashes. Then I put a shade of grey in the middle of the skin covering my eyeballs to create a mild ‘smoky eyes effect’. After this, I put some auburn or golden shade at the far right corner of my eyebrows, to give the bone there a little shine when I turn. Next, I use my Maybelline mascara gently, stopping frequently to allow the driver manoeuvre without smearing my eyes completely.

By now, my fellow bus companions have given up staring at me because they have probably realised that I am not ashamed to have my face made-up in a danfo bus. I bring out my powder again to wipe off any smear of black that may have occurred in places that I didn’t want it to.  Next, I bring out my lip liner and make a brown line that is the exact same shape with the corner of my lips. I’m gripping the pencil real tight to ensure that the roads do not disturb me. Then, I apply my orangy-golden brown lipstick by dropping three taps on my lower lip. I smack both lips gently to spread the colour around. After this, I apply my 8-hour long lasting lip gloss (also from Super Drug *wink*) and mix its pinkish-red colour with my lipstick. Throughout the time, I am holding up the mirror adjoined to my powder case to ensure that I am doing my lips right. I use the powder’s dabber to pat the corners of my face where I am already sweating. It’s the kind of heat you get from being squeezed in a bus. I take special care to ensure that my elbow isn’t poking the passenger on my right.

Finally, I place my accessories in my make-up bag. I shut it and wait for the last bus stop … looking like a Lagos Woman.

Teaching a young child to say please and thank you is one thing, but struggling to get your teenager to be polite to you is quite another. The truth is that most teens are more polite to other people than they are to their own parents.  This is due to a number of things, including the fact that you are the person he feels most comfortable with and as a result is more easily frustrated with.  It is also due to the fact that teens are going through a transformation phase and are experimenting with their independence.  Politeness is one area where they tend to test the waters.  However, there are ways to help your teen be more polite while going through this life change.

1. Avoid demanding your child to use polite words – it only causes a power struggle that did not exist before you made the demand.  Saying to a teenager “I am not giving you this until you say please” only creates a struggle for control.  It does nothing to teach the child why he should use polite words.  When a child becomes a teen, the more important thing to teach is tone of voice.  Instead of demanding he talk courteously, tell him why you don’t like the tone of voice he used.  “I don’t care for the way you asked me to do that.  It seems to me like you don’t respect me when you talk to me like that.”
2. ALWAYS speak politely to your teen – this is a very difficult endeavor to be sure, but until every word that comes out of your mouth is said with care, composure and calmly, you cannot expect your teenager, who has hormones that are going crazy, is trying to be independent and yet is scared all at the same time, to be the only one in the room speaking with civility.  If you have a history of speaking with unkind words or tone to your child, now is a great time to turn over a new leaf.  If you do decide to change the way you speak, it is a good idea to communicate this change with any child, especially teenagers.  Your words can help bridge some of the disconnection he feels toward you because of the words you have used in the past.  Let him know that you are aware you will not do this perfectly.   Bad habits are very hard to break.  Ask him for his help in your conversion.  Together find a word or phrase that he can use when he feels that you are not speaking to him with courtesy.  You then need to agree to ALWAYS take a step back when he uses it. You should also work out the same agreement with him.  Maybe it is the same word and maybe it is a different one.  But know that if you break your promise to take a step back when he uses that word, he is going to too.
3. Don’t embarrass him in front of others, especially his peers.  The social world of a teenager is a very difficult place to be.  The pressure he feels from friends is not a small concern to a teenager.  Parents who make light of the pressure their child feels to fit in, be liked or at least not be noticed run the risk of pushing their child away.  There is a very good chance that your teenager will refuse to act polite when around his friends and other children.  It is never a good idea to deal with the conflict at the time of the offense.  It can be very difficult to refrain from correcting your teen around his peers; however, you have to remember that there is a good chance there are other people watching too.  The eyes of judgment can be overwhelming and make you want to set the record straight and demand that your child treat you with respect.  The best thing you can do is to take a step back and talk to your child about it after he is away from anyone else.  He will no longer have the pressure of other people to show off for and you will be able to be calmer about the situation.

Parenting teens can often be a thankless job because the child rarely wants to show his love the way he used to when he was little.  However, watching him begin to grow into a healthy and happy person can be rewarding, especially if the expectation for him to be perfect is not there.  Understanding that at this time in your child’s life he is testing his own abilities, desires and his decision whether or not to show respect is really important to the growing up process.

source: Gonannies

The valentine season is here again as love takes centre stage. The frenzy gradually builds-up and warms its way into the hearts of men. A time to give and share with loved ones this period is NOW.

STRANDS is organizing a double celebration event which includes the 8th edition of the biggest shopping event, this time in the month of love tagged BonMarche FAIRstival and The signing of the #World’sBiggestValentineCard is a charity cause againstDomestic & Religious Violence, Rape & Hate.

At the BonMarche Festival, vendors will have on display their amazing fashion pieces at their best deals. Are you a fashion buff? Do you love to shop? Do you love great discounts and love to mingle and network or you want to win freebies? Then come and experience mind boggling deals under a wholesome atmosphere. There would be free make up & hair-do, Pedicure and Manicure, Internet Browsing, Rap Battle, free games (Snookers, Ps3, Foos Board, Chess etc)

The signing of the #World’sBiggestValentineCard is a 10day event slated to hold in Unilag Sports Centre from the 11th-20th February 2013, is borne out of a sense of purpose and commitment in making our society a better place. It’s a historical milestone geared towards sharing in the pains of the under-privileged as the spirit of the season preaches love.

As parents, are you aware that your home is the most common place for your young children and yourself to be injured? If not, then you need to be! Young kids love to explore their homes, and since it is their home, they are often unaware of the potential dangers that each item or place within the home may pose.

The question then is: What then can you do to reduce this exposure to the barest minimum of NEVER.

I once read an article that outlines what we owe our children as parents and in order of priority it is

• SECURITY
• DISCIPLINE
• LOVE

Interestingly as emotional beings, we tend to put the love above all, which isn’t exactly bad but it’s best when it comes after Security and discipline.

I give you two examples:

• Your child sees a Sharp object on the floor; would you love him enough for him to hold it? Absolutely not…

You will take it away from him – provide him SECURITY

Tell him not to toy with such objects any more – enforce DISCIPLINE

And you give him a bear hug, often times they are crying already – you SHOW LOVE

• Let’s try another example: You go to a party with your child and he begins to get very cranky and unfriendly.

What do you do?

You take him out of the situation; it could just be to the next room or outside – show him SECURITY

You ask why he is acting that way and if necessary reprimand him – DISCIPLINE

You then assure him you still love him, either by rubbing is head, giving him a hug e.t.c – LOVE

Knowing how important SECURITY is, let us embark on this unique journey together on making our home the safest place to be, eliminating all potential and un-conscious hazards and providing adequate SECURITY for ourselves and children. I leave you with these quick tips on ponder upon:

How lighted and spacious is your house?

When buying items, do you choose carefully from a range of products whose safety is assured?

Are medications within reach of your children?

Is your home Child-Proof/Safe?

Are you available for your child to communicate with?

http://tunbosunoke.pace-setters.org

Enriching lives as much as God permits

Tunbosun O.A

Let’s face it. Many things don’t work in Nigeria. Most of the time you are on your own, with no good emergency services in place to help you out in trouble.

Here are a few tips that can help, please be free to add more in the comment section.

First aid: You do know there is nothing like a first responder or 999 to call when there is a medical emergency right? It is highly important to know how to administer first aid, and also to know the dos and don’ts when dealing with an injured person. For instance, what should you do when someone is bleeding or is having a heart attack? Many of us don’t know! Many deaths could have been prevented if people around knew how to give a CPR or administer first aid before they got to the hospital.

Self Defence: From the senate floor, to offices, clubs and market places, a minor arguement can turn into hot slaps and deadly blows in few minutes. Sometimes the only way to save your life will be in how fast you can punch your attacker’s groin, or  in knowing where to hit him on the head so he can lose his grip and you can escape. Do you know how to turn the seemingly insignificant things in your bag into a weapon when your life is at stake? Important!

Driving: A man fell ill in the middle of the night. There were cars to take him to the hospital but his wife couldn’t drive, his sister who lives with them couldn’t drive  too and their driver lives miles away!  Whether you have a car or not, whether you have a driver or not, it is important to know how to drive a car. The difference between life and death sometimes can be in your ability to drive.

Swimming: We haven’t seen the end of the  floods yet because proper precautions are still not in place. This means that one day someone will wake up to a chest- level flood in her living room. You should be able to at least stay afloat till someone can hear you screaming. It is also shocking to know that many women go so close to the water at the beach without knowing how to swim!  Dangerous!

Talk your way out of trouble: There is so much lawlessness, on the road, in the market and even in your neighbourhood you will encounter people who will try to take advantage of you. Sometimes knowing your rights and standing by it works. Sometimes all that works is to be able to come down to the level of whoever you are dealing with and resolve issues amicably. You need to be able to know the situation and the kind of people involved to know which approach to use. Don’t start stating your fundamental human rights to an agbero with a dagger in his hands, toss him the naira he asked for and flee!

Put out a fire: There are fire service stations , but they don’t always have the resources they need to put out a fire, and when they do, they may get caught in traffic or their truck may be too big to navigate your street. In order words they are not reliable. Knowing how to quench a fire as soon as it starts may save your live and your property. For instance do you know that a simple fire in the kitchen can be put out immediately using a fire blanket or portable extinguisher. Do you know that some fires require C02 extinguisher and not water extinguisher? Do you know the STOP, DROP and ROLL procedure for when the clothe on your body catches fire? These things are not so hard to buy or know, yet many of us don’t know or have them.

A smile,  a wave of the hand and maybe a “good morning”: Don’t snub people around you that you see everyday – gate men, petty traders, and even neighbours, except they are a dangerous threat to your safety. People around don’t have to be your friend, but they don’t have to be your enemy too. A smile, a wave and an occassional “good morning” can do wonders. You just never know when you will need someone’s help to kill a snake on your couch, jumpstart your car battery  or to even get you to a hospital.

source: femmelounge

There are several things filled in the Bible that the Lord detest, this list below is based particularly on Proverbs 6: 16 – 19.

1. Haughty Eyes – what are haughty eyes? When you think you are better than other people. You look down on people, situations and circumstances in peoples’ lives. Haughty eyes, of course, are the outward manifestation of a proud heart.  The term translated “haughty” is literally “high.”  This describes someone who has exalted himself above others and is looking down upon them. A proud person is said to be on his “high horse or  “looks down his nose” at others.
2. Lying Tounge – Do you lie? It is wrong to lie period. Don’t do it. A lie usually needs other lies to cover it up as a good lie, it also requires more thought process to remember your lie. Every White lie has the potential to become black! Whereas telling the truth really will set you free ultimately. Lying deceives people and is purposelessly making statements that are false.  While some people are pathological liars who lie for no good reason. Some people will claim to have pretty good reasons for lying. Maybe you think that the person to whom you’re talking can’t handle the truth.  Sometimes you might lie because telling the truth would take too much time and would be too complicated.  Whatever the reasoning, God hates “a lying tongue.”
3. Hands that shed innocent blood – Don’t kill and even worse if you kill innocent people. It can also include killing peoples dreams, hopes, plans, destinies. From being implicit in a plot to kill (even just mentally wishing it) to killing an unborn child is wrong in Gods eyes.
4. A heart that plots evil – do you carry evil around in your heart? Do you plot evil? Scheming? Planning to “show” someone who did you wrong or someone you simply don’t like? Don’t plot evil not even for your “enemy”. God hates the heart that plots and devises wicked plans because it signifies that the person is pursuing things that will be destructive to them and to others around them.
5. Feet that race to do wrong – Are you a trouble maker? Are you the first to be found when there is trouble? Do you rush to do wrong? Celebrate being the original wrongdoer? Are you the type always looking to start and encourage a fight? The emphasis here is entering into evil with energy and eagerness and can’t wait to go do that sinful thing.  This suggests a heart that is inclined toward evil instead of toward God.
6. False witness that lies – Do you cover up a wrongdoing? Do you lie or make up false stories as a “witness”? God hates a false witness, someone who accuses an innocent person of something that they didn’t do. Some people do this as a result of wanting to “be among” or from peer pressure.
7. Person who sows discord in a family – do you cause drama in a family? Or do you enjoy adding fuel to the fire…instead of helping to squash the discord?  There will always be conflict in this world – in families, in marriages, between siblings, parents and children.  But “one who spreads strife among brothers” magnifies such conflict and causes disunity wether knowingly or unkowingly.  If you are really operating in love you will be looking for all ways possible to end strife and especially strife between family.

So we can change and strive to start doing the opposites of what God hates, we have to pray for God’s mercy to assist us in making the necessary changes, admitting where we have sinned and repent. Some basic goals should be to hate what God hates, we cannot do it alone as we are flesh and blood but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can.

Take the following quiz to see how much you know about choking in children.

1.) What is the most common cause of non-fatal choking incidents among young children?

A)   Food
B)   Toys
C)   Household Items
D)   Office Supplies

2.) When serving hot dogs to young children, how should they be sliced to best prevent the possibility of choking?

A)   Sliced into “coins”
B)   Cut length-wise and then sliced into “half-moons”
C)   Shredded
D)   It doesn’t matter; hot dogs are soft enough that they don’t present a choking hazard

3.) You’re in a hurry and your toddler is still having lunch. How do you handle the situation?

A)   Rush him to finish so you can get on the road
B)   Leave him to eat while you get ready
C)   Give him the food to eat in the car on the way to your destination
D)   Make it known that you’re running late and wait for your child to finish eating at a relaxed, unhurried pace

4.) You’re at the park and a balloon vendor offers your child a helium balloon. Your child is entranced with it, so you make the purchase. How do you proceed?

A)   Treat it like any other toy, letting him take it to his room to play privately
B)   Play with the balloon together
C)   Supervise him as he plays, then take the balloon away when he’s lost interest
D)   Make a production of letting the balloon go together

5.) You want your child to have healthy eating habits, so you avoid candies and processed sugars in favor of fruit. Which of these fruits poses the greatest choking risk?

A)   Sliced apples
B)   Orange segments
C)   Whole grapes
D)   Sliced peaches

6.) When is it safe to introduce hard, smooth foods like peanuts and raw vegetables into a child’s diet?

A)   As soon as he has teeth
B)   When he’s mastered the motion of lifting food to his mouth himself
C)   By the age of two
D)   Four years of age or older

7.) Your toddler wants nothing more than to play in his older brother’s room, but there are toys that have small pieces and aren’t age-appropriate. What do you do?

A)   Let him play with his brother, trusting the older child to monitor the situation
B)   Insist that the door stay open while they play together
C)   Help your older child “baby-proof” his room, putting small pieces away
D)   Offer to play with your children so that your older child isn’t solely responsible for his little brother’s safety

8.) Your child is running through the house and playing, and wants a snack. What is the safest way to handle the situation?

A)   Give him a snack so that he continues to enjoy himself
B)   Tell him that he can only have a snack if he takes a break from playing to eat it
C)   Prepare the snack for him and watch him while he eats and plays
D)   Ignore his requests in hopes that he’ll become distracted

9.) You’re at the grocery store with your toddler when he spots a vending machine full of tiny toys. He desperately wants to buy one of these toys for himself; how do you handle the situation?

A)   Give him a quarter so he can buy the toy for himself without a second thought
B)   Redirect his attention to get away from the vending machine
C)   Let him buy the toy, under the condition that he will surrender it if it’s too small and unsafe
D)   Ignore his pleas and leave when he has a tantrum 

Answers:

1.) A. Food is the most common cause of non-fatal choking incidents among young children.
2.) B. Hot dogs are a common choking hazard, and are safest when served to children after being cut both length-wise and width-wise.
3.) D. A child who is feeling rushed to eat is more likely to choke because his chewing and swallowing skills are still developing.
4.) C. Balloons pieces are the leading non-food cause of choking incidents among children.
5.) C. Whole grapes are smooth and round and can easily slip into a child’s throat to obstruct his airways.
6.) D. Kids’ ability to chew in a grinding motion doesn’t develop properly until around four years of age.
7.) D. Your older child may not have the CPR skills or the emotional maturity to use them in an emergency choking situation, therefore he shouldn’t be completely responsible for keeping his younger sibling safe.
8.) B. Running, jumping and other physical activity can increase the likelihood of your child choking on the food he’s eating.
9.) B. The toys in a vending machine have to be small in order to fit through the mechanisms of the machine, and are not safe for young children.

Caring for your newborn baby can seem rather intimidating at first, but soon you will settle into a routine and things will calm down. There is a lot of information available to you through many sources, including your doctor, friends and family, books, videos, and of course the internet. Take advantage of these resources, but don’t get overwhelmed by the mountain of information. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Utilize your resources. Choose a few people like your pediatrician, your mother or a friend to get you started in the right direction for finding helpful resources. You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. There is help available for the asking.
2. Before baby comes make a check list of things you will need to have on hand and things you will need to do. Again, you don’t have to do this by yourself. Many parenting sites have ready made check lists for you to download.
3. Safety first. When buying furniture, car seats, baby carriers, etc. for your child, make sure that the items meet safety guidelines. If you are using second-hand items, check to make sure there are no recalls out on the items; this is especially true for car seats, baby carriers and cribs.
4. Enlist the help of trusted friends and family members. You are going to be exhausted from the new schedule you will have to keep. It may seem like all babies do is eat, sleep and squirt out icky substances, so taking care of them should be a breeze. It does seem that way, but in reality, most parents end up blurry eyed and droopy tailed after a few days home with a newborn. If help isn’t offered, invite those you trust to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
5. Hire help if you need it. Maybe you only need someone to come in and help with cleaning or to sit with the baby while you get some rest. Now is not the time for you to try to be super-mom and do it all.
6. Try to get as much done as you can before baby arrives. Here’s where your check lists will come in handy. Get an ample supply of the items you will need for baby and the household. The less you have to worry about shopping the better. If items happen to be on sale, you may as well stock up because you will be using these things anyway.
7. Establish some “me” time. Moms will need to have some time to recharge. Even if it’s just time to read a book, go for a walk, take a nap or go out and get a manicure, make time for yourself.
8. Plan a date night. Moms and Dads will need to have some time together just to appreciate each other and keep things fresh. A weekly or bi-weekly date night is a good idea to launch now and hopefully you can keep it going. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to go someplace, you can have a great date at home if you plan it right.
9. Spend quality time with your baby. Read, sing and play with your little bundle of joy. It is work to care for a newborn but it can also be fun. Don’t forget to take pictures and you might want to use a calendar to jot down quick notes to put in the baby book later.
10. Enjoy this time together. When you hear people say, “Oh, they grow up so fast!” just know that they are telling the truth. These days will pass a lot faster than you can imagine, so enjoy them as much as you can; soon they will be treasured memories.

When traveling on a plane the flight attendant always says to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else, even your child. It seems counter intuitive, but it’s the best thing to do, and it’s the same with taking care of a newborn. In order for you to do your best job as a parent, you need to take care of yourself. That’s probably one of the most important tips. Make sure you are getting what you need, then you will have the energy to meet all your baby’s needs. Happy parenting!

There are many benefits to playing a musical instrument that go beyond improving hand-eye coordination and instilling a sense of responsibility in your child. Some other benefits include doing better in school, increasing attention span and having fun playing familiar songs for an audience of family and friends. It can also improve a child’s ability to socialize with their peers. Truly, the benefits are innumerable. Here’s a list of additional benefits that stem from playing a musical instrument that you won’t want your kids to miss.

1. Time Management and Organizational Skills – Practice makes perfect, but you have to make time for practice. Learning to play an instrument requires a child to work on managing their time in order to fit the appropriate amount of practice into their day. In addition, a child must learn to be more organized so they don’t lose or misplace music books or parts of their instrument.
2. Focus, Concentration and Determination – Playing an instrument helps improve focus and concentration skills. A child must learn to dedicate a certain amount of attention and focus to learning new notes or chords. Consequently, for them to learn an entire song they will have to assemble all the new notes they have learned. The reward of performing well can increase their level of determination to succeed, as well.
3. Goals and Aspirations – It takes discipline to learn to play a musical instrument, and every note produced is another goal met, another triumph along the way. When a child gets into the swing of things, they often become committed to the idea of learning and perfecting a new song they enjoy. This part of the process can promote short term and long term goal-setting habits in a child.
4. Sense of Achievement and Confidence – Learning how to read music is like learning a second language, so learning a new instrument is an accomplishment in itself. Conquering every song he tackles is hard work and something he will feel proud of. This will boost his confidence and sense of accomplishment, especially when he begins to learn songs that are familiar or tunes that he loves.
5. Stress Relief – Initially, learning a new instrument can be a bit overwhelming and even a bit stressful. Over time, however, as your child becomes more comfortable, it can become a source of stress relief. Playing music that brings joy can help soothe a child. It can also be calming for others to hear them play music.
6. Creative Expression – There’s nothing more releasing than learning a song that makes you happy or writing your own music that moves you. Playing an instrument allows your child to be expressive in how they are feeling by using music as an emotional and creative outlet. A child’s personality and talents can shine when they are allowed to be creative with music.
7. Patience – Learning a new instrument takes patience. Mistakes are repeated many times before getting an entire song down pat. The process of learning through small triumphs and defeats teaches a child to have patience and to be diligent. They will begin to understand that with time and practice, they can achieve greatness.
8. Improved Memory, Reading and Comprehension – Playing an instrument with sheet music requires constant reading and comprehension. Seeing notes and chords on the page and translating them to finger positions takes skill and committing them to memory takes persistence.
9. Being a Team Player – Playing an instrument in a school band teaches a child to be a team player just as well as being on the football or basketball team. Each instrument has its own part and place in a song, and in order to participate in an ensemble a child will be forced to learn the art of working with others as a team to meet a common goal.
10. Better Grades – A child who is taught music has been exposed to the necessary skills of concentration, focus and patience. These are abilities that tend to translate to above-average academic performance, as proven by a report released by the College Entrance Examination Board, which showed that students with a musical background outperformed their non-arts peers on the SAT and other standardized tests.

Playing a musical instrument promotes a child’s self-esteem by improving several key skills and habits. But most of all, playing a musical instrument is fun and exciting for kids. Children learn to overcome challenges in the process of learning an instrument, which spills over into a greater level of patience. Playing a musical instrument is a cycle of creative outlet and discipline that will likely carry on later in life

source: aupaircare

“Oh dear how to battle this weight insecurity?” I thought to myself with tears dripping down my face.

Hello, my name is Didi and I’m soon to become a mum… I don’t know how to feel only joy about this as a lot of women would and that’s because the person that got me pregnant is not in support of this increase. I don’t know what to do because I am too scared to eliminate this pregnancy even with the many challenges I know will come with this! I am only sure of one thing; God loves me, has forgiven me and will not forsake me…

I would be telling you about my experiences as time goes on; I need you to be my friend because I can really do with one in the physical right now. It’s easy to say, “Jesus loves you and He’s with you always.” But sometimes one is in need of someone you can physically hear from and lean on and just know that you know is there.

I have never been one to give my weight any attention because I’ve always been content with my looks, my figure, my complexion, and my package in total! But now that I am pregnant, having seen some interesting examples around me, I feel I am, in addition, pregnant with paranoia about my weight amongst other issues. Sigh…

The situation with my pregnancy has birthed a lot of insecurities; would I ever get married? I mean which man would want to carry such baggage; he’d have to be an angel on earth or something of the sort. Or how would I get my caramel complexion and youthful skin back? Or how on this planet would I get my figure back? I need it to help me look good enough to attract a prospective husband and father of my child!

Well, whilst I pray and have faith that all will be well let me start doing the things advised by Healthy FiFi regarding my weight and healthy living. I bumped into this pretty lady who happened to be a nutritionist and told her about my weight and skin concerns and looking at her I was more than enthusiastic to take her advice. She’s slim and looks 21 even if she claims to be in her mid to late 30s.

She says I should start my days with a granola cereal and fruits, have a tidy lunch of steamed veggies, a measure of carbs and fish, snack on fruits or some kind of healthy bar and do fresh greens with another protein for supper. She also says I should walk daily for a minimum of thirty minutes (that would be easy in that crazy busy office..lol).

For your own bespoke advice, you can reach HealthyFifi on 08165702717 and place your food orders with LaVilla Kitchen by calling 08097775551

I’ll update you on my progress; I hope you also have some good progress with her. And thanks for having a “listening eye”, meet me here next week for another chat/monologue/session.

Valentines day (or period) is serious in Lagos. Shops offer lovers basket with your choice of healthy options or chocolate delicacies with bottles of wine. Schools encourage the children to come to school in red, the color of love along with a gift for a classmate. Even some offices get involved in Valentine’s day asking you to pick a name from a hat and get the person a gift. You also get your fair share of various shades of red on the day with everyone trying to be part of the love by wearing a touch of red.

There was a display picture making the rounds on blackberry that showed a man crying because two weeks before Valentines day the blackberry 10 from RIM was released. The joke being that there would be some expectant blackberry 10 recipients (wife or girlfriend) waiting for this new phone.

Now depending on where you are in your relationships or your marriage you are either a die hard valentines day celebrant with the whole works – cards, gift exchange, celebration by going to dinner, movies or taking a trip. Or you are on the other extreme who thinks its just an overly commercialized day with too much focus on spending and marking one so called day of love…after all love doesn’t have to be shared and celebrated on just one day of the year.

Wherever you fall or whatever you believe you could not miss the love and the Valentines day atmosphere in the air. Some of us have evolved and don’t even remember to get our significant others a card…even if they remembered to get you a gift.

I have noticed that celebration of Valentines day has taken on an increased tempo over the years in Lagos. So here I am last minute on Valentines Day evening and we decide to go to Valentines Day dinner. So after work we discuss the options a bit and venture out to our preferred restaurant for the evening, Sky Lounge at Eko Hotel. On getting there we are greeted and welcomed by the waitress and asked if we made a reservation, which we had not. She politely tells us we therefore cannot dine at their restaurant, we ask if there might be some people who won’t turn up and she answers that nope all reservations have already paid up for their dinner in advance and therefore they are sure they will turn up.  Realizing that lots of other people take this more serious than us we  did we leave and decide to try somewhere else….

Next stop was Talindo’s and after a feeble attempt to see if there is a free table for our non-reservation selves we are told that there are no seats available and are told to check upstairs. We go upstairs, which is outside, though humid and not very comfortable we take a seat. Lagosians know what is good sha the upstairs was empty while the nice cozy downstairs dining areas with the air conditioning and candle lights was fully reserved and packed with diners. Anyway after one look at the “set” menu where we were being offered suya at triple the cost per head plus the humidity we decided this was not the place for us to dine.

After heading out we considered trying another proper restaurant to which I said “No o I am not in the mood to be turned away again” not taking no for an answer and determined not to return home without dinner we decide to try a likely “non-reservation” type restaurant…

So we end up at Johnny Rockets and voila we do not get asked if we made a reservation, we are promptly seated and very quickly get our burgers that are in heart shaped buns….along with a nice electric slide performance by the waiters.

Phew who knew Valentines day in Lagos was such serious business! Reservations are the way forward.

Should Couples have a Joint Account – by Mrs Nimi Akinkugbe

Tunde grimaced as the cashier handed him back the debit card. “I am sorry Sir, but your card has been declined for insufficient funds”. Since he got married to Temi, this had become a problem. Temi was not as responsible with money as he would have liked and could be quite frivolous and impulsive about spending. Whatever money was deposited in the joint account through direct debits from their two salary accounts simply evaporated into thin air. Fortunately, Tunde always kept some cash on him so he was able to pay for the groceries.

Tough economic times can strain not only a couple’s finances, but their relationship as well; where one partner is less “responsible” with money, their spouse may feel some resentment. Financial concerns are one of the most common sources of tension in a relationship. Fortunately, planning and communication can help you avoid financial friction and frustrating conversations.

Most people have already established their own financial personality and preferences even before they become part of a couple. For new couples, it pays to start off on the right footing by establishing a fair and open method for dealing with finances; money matters should be discussed and opinions expressed early. Here are some thoughts regarding joint and separate accounts.

Joint Accounts

Joint accounts are most common amongst married couples. There are also other instances where it may be prudent to operate a joint account. For example, an elderly parent may consider opening a joint account with their adult children in order to pay household bills or to avoid the probate court process in the event of their death. A parent may also opt to maintain a joint account with their child in order that they have access to funds should the need arise.

In any partnership, there will be shared expenses which, regardless of who actually pays for them, the benefit is shared. These include food, utility bills, and the larger expenses that may be too large for one spouse to handle alone, such as rent or mortgage payments, school fees, and family vacations. It is important that there is complete clarity and communication regarding such expenses. If one person earns significantly more or less than the other, it would be fair to contribute amounts in proportion to the respective incomes to reflect this imbalance.

Joint accounts work best where both parties have established a solid level of trust between them. Whilst this offers convenience and transparency, it does mean that each spouse becomes financially liable for the other, and of course either party can go to the bank and drain the account.

Separate Accounts

Do separate accounts ensure that there are no fights over money? “Perhaps we would fight even more if our money was merged,” says one-half of a couple that prefers to remain anonymous. If one person spends money in a way that the other considers frivolous, or you find a joint account restrictive as it affords you less privacy and independence, it is probably best to have separate accounts. Being able to spend money without having your partner scrutinize the minutest detail is certainly important to some.

Even though there may be no need to question each others personal expenses such as clothing, personal luxuries and hobbies, it is advisable that both parties should still be involved and consulted in relation to the significant financial decisions. There must be a conscious effort to keep the greater financial picture in mind as with separate finances one may lose sight of the family’s long term goals.

Joint and Separate Accounts

Having a joint account for certain large and recurring expenses combined with individual accounts for personal expenses is a good compromise. Particular expenses may be assigned where one person will pay for certain bills whilst their partner pays for others. This is probably the most popular system where each partner takes some responsibility in maintaining the household budget yet each still retains some independence.

As the global economic crunch continues to bite, families across the nation are affected, with many experiencing financial concerns for the first time in their relationship. Today, most households require two incomes in order to sustain their standard of living and lifestyle and to build a secure financial future for the family.

There is no one size fits all; some couples have joint accounts whilst others prefer to keep their finances separate. Even the best system is not always appropriate all the time so plan to modify your system as your relationship and financial situation evolves. If one system doesn’t work, just try a different one. Regardless of which option you choose, it is important to discuss money matters.

photo source: nerdwallet

The Four Laws of God’s Blessing by Rick Warren

I get the daily hope with Rick Warren and wanted to bless someone by sharing this!

“I will bless you … and you will be a blessing.” (Genesis 12:2 NIV)

1. Our blessings should flow to others.

The Bible teaches us that we are blessed not just so that we can feel good, not just so we can be happy and comfortable, but so that we will bless others. God told Abraham in Genesis 12:2, “I will bless you … and you will be a blessing” (NIV). This is the first law of blessing: It must flow outwardly.

How do you bless others? By serving a need, whether it is physical or emotional support, financial help, or practical advice. “Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand” (Philippians 1:4 MSG).

2. When we bless others, God takes care of our needs.

God promises that if we will concentrate on blessing others, he’ll take care of our needs. There’s almost nothing that God won’t do for the person who really wants to help other people. In fact, God guarantees this blessing. In Luke 18, Jesus says, “I guarantee this. Anyone who gives up anything for the kingdom of God will certainly receive many times more in this life and will receive eternal life in the next world to come.”

When you care about helping other people, God assumes responsibility for your problems. And that’s a real blessing, for he’s much better at handling your difficulties than you are.

3. Our blessings to others will come back on us.

The more you bless other people and the more you help others, the more God blesses your life. Luke 6:38 tells us, “Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back — given back with bonus and blessing” (MSG). You cannot out-give God. The more you try to bless other people in the world around you, the more God says, “I’m going to pour blessings out on you. We’ll play a little game here. Let’s see who will win. Let’s see who can give the most. The more you bless others, the more I’m going to bless you in return.”

4. The more we’re blessed by God, the more he expects us to help others.

Jesus said it this way in Luke 12: “Much is required from the person to whom much is given; much more is required from the person to whom much more is given” (GNT). We are blessed to be a blessing.

Talk About It

- Based on the blessings of your life, what would you say God expects from you?

- What are the needs around you for which you can use your gifts to be a blessing?

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America’s largest and most influential churches. Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller ”The Purpose Driven Life.” His book, ”The Purpose Driven Church,” was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also the founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for pastors.

picture source: daddy4ms.blogspot.com

Kellogg Co K.N. said 36,000 packages of its Special K Red Berries cereal could contain dangerous glass fragments and have been pulled from the market, the latest in a series of recalls of its popular brands.

Company spokesman Kris Charles said late on Wednesday that three sizes of the product were involved and had been distributed across the United States to a limited number of retailers. No consumer injuries have been reported, she said. “The company took this precautionary action due to the possible presence of glass fragments from a single batch of one of the ingredients,” Charles said. “This is a very small recall…We took the step out of an abundance of caution.” Charles said the voluntary recall is unrelated to big recalls in recent years that involved other well-known Kellogg cereals, cookies and crackers.

The company is still in the process of turning itself around after admitting that it had cut too many jobs in prior years that contributed to manufacturing problems.

The latest recall involves 11.2-ounce retail packages of Kellogg’s Special K Red Berries cereal identified by UPC Code 38000 59923 with a “Better if Used by” date stamp of DEC 02 2013 KNC 105 00:13 through DEC 02 2013 KNC 105 02:30.

It also includes 37-ounce club-store packages identified by UPC Code 38000 20940, followed by a “Better if Used by” date of NOV 30 2013 KNB 107 17:31 to NOV 30 2013 KNB 107 20:05.

Kellogg said 22.4-ounce twin-packs were also recalled. They are identified by UPC Code 38000 78356, along with “Better if Used by” time stamps of NOV 30 2013 KNA 105 07:00 to NOV 30 2013 KNA 105 08:51, and NOV 30 2013 KNB 105 15:00 to NOV 30 2013 KNB 105 17:05.

Special K is touted by the company as a low-calorie consumer option. Kellogg in October recalled 2.8 million boxes of its Mini-Wheats cereal after fragments of flexible metal mesh from a faulty manufacturing part were found inside packages.

In June 2010, the company voluntarily recalled millions of packages of Kellogg’s Corn Pops, Honey Smacks, Froot Loops and Apple Jacks cereals due to an off-flavor and odor of the products. In 2009, it voluntarily recalled certain lots of its Austin and Keebler brands of peanut-butter sandwich crackers and Famous Amos and Keebler cookies due to potential contamination with Salmonella.

source Reuters