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Good News Kidnapped Orekoya Boys are Back Home

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We have some good news, the kidnapped Orekoya boys are back home! There were a lot of prayers from everyone for the boys to be returned home to their parents unharmed and safe. We thank God this has indeed been the case.

Thank God Orekoya Boys

In the aftermath of this, there are a lot of questions being raised. There are the people who have blamed the mother for hiring from OLX and blamed her for leaving kids with a new nanny. In reality how about you? How well do you know the nanny in your house? Did you get her from your friends nanny or your driver? The truth is that OLX is one source, but there are many different sources you could use to hire a nanny that could be just as dire.

The question here is how do we avoid these things happening? Most parents are dual income homes and therefore there will be the need to hire domestic staff to help manage the home and the children. The answer is not condemnation but rather how do we find solutions together.

Raising a child has always taken a village. We somehow have moved to a “my family, my children and I model”. How many people can say they know their neighbours? How many people know anyone on their street? The reality is that we all have to make a change. How we treat each other and how we hire strangers into our homes. Like a father said we tell our children not to talk to strangers and then we bring strangers into our homes.

We have been asking through our #LMOpinion: “What will you do differently as you hire?”


LMOpinion: what will you do differently as you hire?
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This should be where we are focusing our attention. What should we do differently, what should we keep in mind, how do we avoid the same problems from happening.

How do we raise awareness of such situations. Am sure if Mrs Orekoya had been aware of the other kidnap story from OLX perhaps she would not have hired using the same source? Maybe she thought her case would be different? we really don’t know. OLX is an online classifieds system that lets people interact and trade, with the disclaimer that the buyers must carry out their own due diligence.

I do not believe there is one answer to avoid bad domestic staff stories. There are several good stories as well. I just met the founder of The Nanny Academy, and her nanny has been with her for 10 years! So there are somethings you can do right to keep staff for a long time.

There are two parts to this. The pre-hire side which is what you do prior to hiring the staff and then the post-hire, which deals with how you treat your staff and remain vigilant after you have hired.

  • keep calm and hire a nannyVerify their identity – Stop hiring people into your homes that you cannot trace. Whether you are able to use an agency or not, you must be comfortable that you know where they came from. At the minimum be sure of where they live and be able to trace them if need be.
  • Interview process – Do not rush the interview process. Do not be desperate when you are looking for a nanny as this clouds your judgement. Spend time to understand why she wants the job. Do not hire someone who seems resentful that she has to be a nanny. Rather you want someone who sees being a nanny as a real job and a career choice and maybe she wants to save to go back to school or to start a business?
  • Reference checks – We have many candidates who say that their old employers have relocated out of the Country. While definitely true in some cases, it is not true in all cases. According to agency, some ex-employers give unfair negative recommendations, so (some) nanny’s have learnt that its better to say their old bosses have travelled. Give fair reference checks when you are contacted. Employers note everyone has not travelled!
  • Pay well – Are you a family that can afford to pay well and yet you hire and pay only 5,000 per month? Whereas your nanny sees that the amount you spend on your pet is more than this per month. Do not underpay your domestic staff who works hard all day, agree on a fair wage. Do not refuse to pay you staff their salary and on time.
  • Security – You should drop by your house unannounced and recruit other people who can drop by unannounced to check up on the staff in your home. If you live in a compound with a security man at the gate, make sure you leave instructions with him. Nanny cams are another way to make sure you can see what is going on in the home when you are not there.
  • Empower your children – Empower your children by putting landlines in the home and pre-program your number into the phone. Teach your children to be security conscious as well. Be sure to spend time communicating with your children as many times you can pick up what is happening from them.
  • It comes full circle – There are some great employers but there are some other employers who treat their staff quite badly. Everyone you treat poorly has the tendency to go to another home angry and wanting to retaliate. That said there are some staff that no matter how well they are treated do not reciprocate with good. This where we have to stay prayerful and discerning to know when you have such a person.
  • Use alternatives – If you are not sure about the nanny you have, then by all means use alternatives. Some alternatives could include, putting your children in an after school centre or day care. Ask family members to stay with the new nanny and your child initially.

Lastly there is a difference between a nanny and a house-keeper. If you want a nanny hire a nanny. Do not hire someone who is a good cleaner and washerwoman and have her also provide nanny services. Recruiters highlight a decline in the quality of young job seekers and an increase in workers not committed to their jobs, why should it be different with domestic staff?

Stay careful and vigilant.

Read more on the right way to hire domestic staff and Key Tips on How to Treat Your Nanny.

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DALM | Real Issue With Domestic Staff

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Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | Real Issue with Domestic Staff

Everywhere is awash with news of the kidnap of the three Orekoya boys from their home and with it many emotions are running rampant.

There is the angry and judgmental mum who cannot understand how you would hire from an online platform, there is the person who is reacting by firing their nanny. There are those blaming the bank for being unyielding and will not give a mother time to care for her family as needed. What about those saying Nigeria should have 12 month maternity leave (like the UK and some other countries). There are those saying that well if mums were sitting at home with their children then this would not happen.

There are so many allegations and opinions going around. I have heard from some skeptical people that perhaps the parents were putting this act on to raise money. To which I answered if you had watched the video of the hysterical mum that aired on TVC, you would know that this was no gimmick.

verify your nanny identityThere are a series of the not to do’s that we can point out. Do not hire from OLX or just any ource for that matter. Do not leave staff with a new nanny on the next day. However don’t we have stories of long time domestic staff that has still aided a crime?

What is the solution? Is it to no longer hire nanny’s? Fair enough, but then would this also mean that no drivers or also no support staff at all? Because in reality the risk is the same. What can we really do?

Mums are talking. I listened to the police commissioner on channels TV who said “the problem with the elite is that they will hire a stranger and bring them into their home”. He went on to offer that before people hire any domestic staff, check with the police to carry out a background check. I personally did not know the police offered this sort of service.

People recommend using agents, but not every agency is created the same. There are some that personally verify the identity of every staff they place while there are some who simply place anyone who walks in off the street. Be careful with this.

At the end of the day, there is no one magic answer. What is clear though is that we need to be discussing what we can or must do differently because it is a series of actions. Some of what we must do includes being more security conscious, knowing your neighbors, know the security guards in your area. Verify the source of your staff, carry out background checks. Using alternative options such as enrolling the children in an after school service should also be considered.

The reality is that we should all be more security conscious, more careful, prayerful.

I also think this it is time for parents to call on each other and to support one another.


it is time for parents to call on each other and to support one another
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Set up a roaster whereby parents keep their children in another mums house one day per week. Where there are many children and multiple staff it will be harder to perpetuate a crime.

I do not know that there is one answer to this problem, the dangers of hiring domestic staff. Rather there are several steps that employers can and must take that will make it harder for a crime to be committed against our children and our families.

Lets not make the mistake of forgetting and quickly go back to life as usual – what will you do differently?

How well do you know your staff

If you already have staff how well do you really know them? including your security staff, driver, cook etc. Take the time to increase your security awareness.

Share with us some steps you have taken.

 

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LM Fashion Looks

The Power of Investments

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If you took time to take stock of your expenses in the month of March, you may notice that at least a third of the monies spent might not be accounted for especially on those ‘little-little’ items. The ones we think do not matter and as such we do not need to have a budget for. Such as spontaneous treats for ourselves and children, new weaves/ extensions for our hair, perhaps due to prompting of friends or hair stylists, aso-ebi, cosmetics recommend by a friend as ‘the life-saver’. It could be weight loss programs we start and don’t complete, evidenced by the tins of shakes and pills in a corner in our homes to mention a few.

growing funds lagosmumsSome of us ladies see making investment decisions as a huge task that requires us first having huge sums or money before approaching the experts. In some cases, a few of us are quick to invest our funds in businesses with little understanding of how it works. When these investments go bad, we become more repulsive towards investing and use it as an excuse not to imbibe the investing culture.

Looking at the importance of being financially proactive by supporting our spouses in the running expenses of the family, it is essential that we mothers/ intending mothers take the responsibility of investing an affordable portion of our income, between 5% to 10% on a monthly basis in assets that would generate guaranteed returns.

A way of doing that is by investing in vehicles with compounded interest which gives the opportunity of earning interest on principal and accrued interest. For instance, if you invest N25,000 monthly at 10% interest per annum, at the end of 5 years you would have about N1,790,000 as your accumulated investment which would definitely solve your future financial needs; money which you ordinarily would not have if you did not apply caution when purchasing those insignificant or unaccountable for  items.

As role models to our children, we need to help them inculcate the habits of saving by opening an investment accounts for them and encouraging them to make their contributions from allowances and monetary gifts received from friends and relatives. Eventually, they will learn to be financially prudent and wise in their spending.

Quick Tips

  1. Review your current financial priorities and allocate your funds accordingly
  2. Set aside an affordable portion of your income (recommended savings 5-10% of earnings)
  3. Create an account with compounded interest
  4. Start with the little you have
  5. Make a direct debit on your income account
  6. Watch it grow
Written by Tope Omojokun, Asset Manager
For more information on opening an investment account with our partner Investment Company send an email to contactus@lagosmums.com 
 
Read more on To Save Or To Spend

photo source: destinyman

 

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Understanding Colic

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The good news in understanding colic is that no matter how uncomfortable it is only temporary  and your baby will grow out of it. That said there are things a new parent should understand about colic that helps in managing it. Colic is severe pain in the abdomen caused by wind or obstruction in the intestines and suffered especially by babies. It causes your otherwise healthy and thriving baby to cry excessively, this sort of crying is also called persistent crying, 

crying black babyApprox 15% of children suffer from colic and no one including doctors can agree on which theories explain cry excessively, what exactly causes colic and sure ways to remedy it. This makes it difficult when suggesting and prescribing treatment and medicines. No one knows for sure what causes it and there is no “single size fits every one” treatment for it also.

Some of the  theories that explain what colic is includes that a child’s intestines are working hard, another theory raised by the medical profession for colic is that it can be caused by slow bowel movements thus allowing air into the bowel causing pain. Within 2/4 weeks after giving birth this stomach upset can start and can run for a 3 month spell.

If baby is a sufferer then he/she may cry for up to 3-4 hours very loudly. No pacifier or mothers TLC can take the pain away but it will certainly help in comforting them. Spasms usually kick in about the same time twice daily, but this can vary.

How can I tell if my baby has colic?

If your baby cries excessively, but is otherwise healthy and feeding well, it’s likely that he has colic. Your baby may be diagnosed with colic if:

  • he has frequent bouts of intense and inconsolable crying
  • he pulls his legs up to his tummy and arches his back when crying
  • he cries most often in the late afternoon or evening

Babies are a lot stronger than you could imagine and will outgrow spasms of colic but always discuss with your baby’s doctor.

Colic in babies can prove to be an ordeal for parents who have tried every thing possible to comfort the infant. Usually baby being so uncomfortable leads to many sleepless nights for the parents as the baby seems to cry uncontrollably. Remember that baby is uncomfortable and not just acting “spoilt”.

Below are a few points that several parents have discovered in managing a colicky baby:

1. Relieving Gas – Burping your baby after every feeding will help to relieve gas. Clasping your baby either above/alongside your shoulder, putting baby stomach down across your knee helps to relieve the gas and as a result decrease a little of your baby’s discomfort. Putting baby on her back and gently pushing her legs up towards her chest will help to relieve the gas.

2. Rocking – It can be a rocking chair or gently swaying your baby’s cradle. The periodic movement is good for comforting a colicky baby. Holding your baby close to your chest helps to some extent as the beating of your heart is to a certain extent comforting, and can assist in relaxing them. Hold him close to you so that he can hear your heartbeat. Sit down, relax and take long, slow, breaths out so that your heartbeat becomes slow and regular.

3. Music – Babies are keen on music, so begin singing, or you can also switch on a TV or radio. The music might aid to divert them sufficiently to stop the crying.

4. Sucking – Offering a pacifier can help baby to get through the discomfort.

5. Over The Counter – Ask your doctor for some over the counter medicines for colic. It is not 100% sure that it will work but it is worth a try. Gripe water has also been recommended.

Quieten things down. Lots of activity, being passed from person to person, bright lights could over-stimulate your baby. 

Try a warm bath. Your baby spent months bathed in warm amniotic fluid. A peaceful bath in a warm room can calm some crying babies

Probably out of every one of these tips, you will come across a few that will work in soothing your baby. There is no clear pattern or evidence that shows that there is any exact method that works. Pay attention to your baby’s cues and notice what seems to work. Also remember to give yourself a break as needed. When you check and see that it is not time for a feed, a change, try to take a few minutes to yourself to help to relieve the stress.

Remember this colicky stage will pass and usually does not extend past 3 or 4 months.

photo source: blackcelebkids,

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Is The Bible Real

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Children are very imaginative and learn through stories, so it should be no surprise when they ask “Is the bible real?” My 5 year old son asked if the bible was real? He asked if the stories were actually true and if they really happened.

the bible is trueAfter getting the answer in the affirmative that indeed the stories in the bible are real and true. Emphasis on the fact that the word is truth and life.

He pondered this for what seemed to be a quick second, then went on to ask if Goliath was real? He wanted to know if God made Goliath? He wondered why God would make someone who was bad. His sister decided it was time to pitch in with her two years of additional experience (after all she is a whole 7 years old). She said yes “God made Goliath”. She went on to explain that God makes everybody good but some people decide to be bad and then they become bad. That it is not God’s fault. 

Okay great answer! Not sure I would have come up with that answer myself.

The very inquisitive brother went on to ask “so how exactly was David able to kill Goliath with no weapon”? “What is a sling”? At this point dad came into the conversation and started to explain what a sling is and how David used it. He seemed incredulous…that just a stone could take off a giants head.

The point here is that we have a precious job on our hands, the earlier we expose children to the bible, the earlier we make it clear to them that the bible is real, the more they can live their lives based on the word. We should explain to them that the stories of faith, power and miracles that we read about are not just fairy tales but real instructions for us to learn from.

Children are curious and will ask questions. Parents and teachers need to be able to rise up and answer with practical answers they can relate to. We should also use the curiosity as an avenue to teach them that faith and obedience are critical in every decision and action that humans make.

I found it very insightful that a 7 year old could answer with the point of view that everyone was made good by God but that some people decide to become bad. children love the bible

Let us equip our children with the knowledge that the end of bad is never good. Indeed we were all born with free will but God desires for us to seek him, to obey him and to walk according to his will for our lives. There is no greater truth than this and we, parents and teachers are the first contact children will have on the concept of God!

Let’s treat our roles with sensitivity and cherish the incredible responsibility we have for every child that crosses our path whom we can train.

photo sources: youversion, friendsfortruth

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Joys Of Fatherhood Pains Of Motherhood

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FatherhoodContributed by Ayo Iyiola-Olumide

Mums take on a lot in raising their children but only a handful of them get appreciated. When a woman is waiting to have a baby, all eyes are on her. She seems to bear the shame and pain of having no children even when the doctor confirms it’s his problem.

When she gets pregnant, she bears all the side effects of expecting a baby besides going through the awful pains of labour and delivery. Then finally the baby arrives and she’s the only one expected to nurse that child through sleepless nights. The guys are excited that they are now dads; they are on the phone to everyone sharing the good news of the arrival of a new baby. The emails come in cheering both parents but the mum is too busy to read any.

After the baby’s here, she’s still the one who would endure the awful side effects of contraception; she’s the only one whose heart beats in a funny way if she’s skipped her period by a few days. She follows up at most school events and you can guess, if her child has special needs, she has no option than bear this pain alone She’s the first to get up each morning, cleaning up the mess from the previous day and getting ready for the next day. Picking up toys and socks ever so often is no longer a strange phenomenon as her back is used to getting bent every now and then.

I think mums should be very fit after all the work they do trying to keep the kids and home together. Taking care of kids is a lot of work. Even when you’re ill, you’ll still find a way around though slower but you need to get the job done. Getting very young kids dressed and fed is just part of the daily routine. Unless you’ve got tons of baby’s clothes, you’re also washing and ironing clothes regularly. Meals need to be prepared. When you’re done, your baby’s turning her head away since she’s not impressed with the meals. You try something else and before you realize you’ve spent hours preparing meals and who’s going to do the cleaning up, if not you?

If you’re planning for a vacation, you’re the one calling up the hotels to confirm they’ll provide a cot or crib. You’re packing all the kids will need and there isn’t even enough space to get your pants in the same suitcase. You end up travelling there and they are the ones having fun and you’re still working even while on vacation. Getting her hair done is another issue. You shampoo her hair, dry it, comb it out and just when you’re about to get started on braiding it, she’s all over the place refusing to sit still and you wonder why you ever started this journey of hair styling.

Where are the guys, I mean where are the dads? After all, you both wanted a baby and you both made it happen. Why should the woman be the only one to bear all the burden of raising your children? The kids see more of mummy and wonder why a ‘stranger’ comes home late each day and plays with them only over the weekend. Some cultures have very supportive expectations for parents; they permit and ensure the roles are shared between both parents.

So, today, it’s daddy changing the nappies, tomorrow, it’s mummy taking baby out for a walk. That way, neither of the parents feels they have to bear all the work alone. In some other parts of the world, the woman is looked upon as a slave, the only person expected to do all the work while the guy plays around. The woman, most of the time has no earning power or influence and is forced to do all the work. Even if she’s almost falling apart, weak or ill, no one bothers to lend a helping hand.

I salute all the women who keep at raising their kids with the little they have and with all their energy. Some guys are so heartless, because their traditions do not permit them to do anything, they can’t even use their conscience or good will to assist. After such an exhausting day with the kids, they still expect their wives to prepare their meals, iron their clothes and even polish their shoes.

Guys, please wake up and face the reality that your wives are breaking down if they don’t get the adequate help from you. They watch TV while mummy is trying to get the kids to bed. They even plan outings with their friends when you still have a pile of laundry left to fold. I think that’s just too insensitive.

After you’ve spent hours getting the kids’ hair done, they have no clue how much energy and time you expended. All they do is take pictures and send to their family and friends. When it’s due for a change, they are screaming and complaining how you should have done it so long ago. They return from work and bombard you with questions as if you were the nanny they left at home. ‘How are the kids today?’, ‘Did they have a bath?’, ‘Has she had a nap today?’ All these and many questions must be answered as if you’ve been lazy all day doing nothing.

I just think guys need to be sensitive with their words and empathize with a woman who has left all to take care of their children. Allow the mums to take the initiative. They really don’t want to answer those questions when they are obvious to you. It hurts when a mum is made to feel like a nanny as if she isn’t worth more than having kids and raising them. Most times, it’s not the occasional treats the guys give that make the difference, it’s the constant support that they love their kids and care about you.lagosmums fatherhood motherhood

Guys, when next you return from work, just say, ’thanks for looking after our daughter’ and trust me it will mean the world to us. Don’t ask too many questions and trust our judgment and decisions. We can’t hurt our kids not even when we get up from the wrong sides of our beds. Asking questions make us silly especially when you can either answer them or you’re trying to pry into why we have done what we did. Some guys don’t even give their wives any extra ‘treat’ apart from what’s provided for the upkeep for the home. You work so hard all year round and they do nothing to say thank you, not even a dinner out together or a weekend away. They feel their wives do not deserve anymore and should focus on the kids. Even those who give treats are either not consistent or do it with a bad attitude or do so like they are paying bills and you know they are not even grateful. That’s not really what the mums would like; they want to see you truly care by supporting them and sharing responsibilities..

After a hard day’s work, all they do is snore off in bed while you try to lull a sleeping baby to bed. You have bulgy eyes but they drive off to their hobbies the next day and hope you cope anyhow. One would have thought that they realize that raising kids could be so hectic, they’ll come back early from work but the opposite is true. They complain how hectic their own work schedule is. Sooner than later you realize that they’ve been staying back late at work to avoid helping out with the kids. At night, when the baby is so uncomfortable and would cry for a long time, the guys leave mummy to sort out baby as they continue their sleep in another room. They do not want to be bothered about a noisy baby disturbing their sleep time. The next day, they go on and on whining about how they didn’t have a good sleep the previous night and you wonder whether it was your fault. They issue matching orders hoping you can fix the baby and avoid another noisy night. You go to visit his friends or family and everyone is congratulating him on a good job on raising the kids but you remain there an invisible woman and no one says a word to you even when they know you have been working behind the scenes to keep the home intact.

Dads are proud. Have you seen one at the shopping mall showing off his son to a friend he has not seen in a while? He speaks on behalf of his son and takes all the glory for working hard to get his son up to this point. No mention is made of his wife apart from that she went shopping in the mall and would be out soon. It’s just not enough to provide the seed to have a baby and be called a dad. Be available and take some load off that mum in your home. Sometimes, I think, guys are scared of responsibility. Any little stress on their part, if they can’t pay for it, they will run away. Don’t hide behind that busy schedule of yours when it’s all about you running away from sharing the responsibilities of raising your children together.

Stand up and be counted as a dad who is responsible from start to finish. Some guys could be so insensitive, they claim they cannot afford to hire a nanny to assist their wives but they are also not available to support by being hands on with their kids or the chores. After all the stress the woman has to go through the first year or two taking care of the kids, the guy begins to ask for another baby. Why would someone be as wicked and heartless when his support level for the first child was almost negligible? For some guys, they want a van full of kids but are not ready to lift a finger to help with part of the house chores or even spend quality time with their kids. They want to show off their kids to their friends but are unwilling to even pick up toys at home. Why are you surprised that guys offer little or no help with kids or house chores?

Over the years, sons have watched their fathers leave early for work and return late and they have that modeled for them as what dads should look like. When they get married and their wives ask for help, they either ignore, or silently do nothing or blurt out in anger how their schedule at work does not provide enough time but all they are saying is ‘can’t you see that’s not a man’s job, poor woman!’

Unfortunately, you can never really see what type of dad the man get married to will turn out to be. They promise heaven on earth before they get married but watch closely after, they are everything but what they said The joys of fatherhood should not be at the expense of the pains of motherhood. Both of you can share the joys and the pains, the highs and the lows, the responsibilities and the treats of being parents without one feeling distraught while the other is not bothered.

photo source: reddit

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Nigerian Parents Raising Child-Adults

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I stumbled on a story that stated that the 15 year old son of David and Victoria Beckham got a job in a coffee shop, where he is earning minimum wage because his parents want him to learn the value of money. The Beckhams are some of the richest set of parents in the world and they are having their son get a job. It is not about them or how rich they are, rather they identify that there are certain life skills that a child needs to learn in order to become an independent adult in the future.

silver spoonSo the question is why do Nigerian parents refuse to instil certain values in their children. Why are Nigerian parents raising child-adults? The average Nigerian parents thinks that love includes providing for the child 110% or keeping the child living at home until they get married (never mind those who choose to live with spouse in BQ after marriage). We see lots of parents pack their children into business class for summer holidays and mid term breaks.

I have spoken to a lot of recruiters who complain that there is youth unemployment, but part of the reason is that there are a lot of child-adults who are unemployable. The parents are the ones carrying out the job search for the child-adult in question while he or she shows total lack of interest.

We term them child-adults because biologically and according to the calendar they are grown but in relation to everything else they are still children.

The rate of marriages that break up is high because the child-adult cannot compromise, is impatient and selfish and cannot put the needs of someone else before theirs. Parents spend huge amounts of money on lavish weddings to show off to their friends, family and Ovation without really spending time counselling the intending couple. All the couple do is to pick the clothes for the bridal train, meet with the wedding planner, join the gym for toned arms, invite Dj Cuppy and then show up for the wedding day. They are usually totally unprepared for the real work and journey – the marriage that comes after the wedding.

I speak to a lot of teachers who complain that they cannot discipline students because the mum or dad will show up screaming at the teacher for daring to discipline their prince or princess. Parents remember they are your prince and princess and seem cute now. If you make them unable to function in society as an independent adult in the future you will have yourself to blame.

I have read that even Richard Branson who owns a whole airline, Virgin Atlantic, lets his children fly in economy. Not to say that everything about the western world is better or must be copied, but where we can pick up useful examples then lets do so.

Lets keep in mind that the cute, cuddly toddler and child of today is really a passing phase. The goal of parenting should be to envision the finished product – the adult who is the product of your parenting. As an adult yourself you know the realities of life, you know how difficult it is to hold a relationship, to get and keep a job, to earn a living and what really makes life worth living.

We should not fall for the lie that love means showering children and indulging them with so much love and attention. Kids who do not ever break a sweat because everything is done for them risk growing to become child-adults who sweat because real life comes with a rude shock.

Lets focus on what some of the real values are, delayed gratification, learning the value of hard work, learning the value of money, maintaining good relationships, respect and so much more. The core values do not change whether you are born with a silver spoon or a kpako/wooden spoon. Values are universal and must be kept in mind when raising a child.

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Why World Malaria Day

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I had looked up to search for inspiration from my ceiling and…was that a mosquito I just saw flying by? I start thinking that it is actually time to fumigate the house again. Which vendor was I going to use? I remember the last time an estate-wide fumigation was done where I live. Some very harsh, very aggressive chemical was used and most children in the estate ended up with rashes, itching and pain! And that ended it. To your tents, Oh Israel. Everyone decided to start sourcing their own fumigation vendors themselves.

And so, it is yet another World Malaria Day! Did you just hide a giggle? Well, if you did, you’re not alone. Most people can’t understand why days are ‘dedicated’ to diseases…that’s just morbid, right? Well, maybe not! Let’s reel out some stats to make it real. Did you know that?

Federal Ministry Of Health in Nigeria estimates that malaria is responsible forWorld Malaria Day

  • 60% of outpatient visits to hospitals.
  • 30% of deaths in childhood
  • 25% of deaths in children under 1 year
  • 11% of maternal deaths

Malaria is responsible for

  • Work and school absences
  • Low productivity
  • Poverty

Have you ever thought about it in that sense…the fact that people actually get poor from constantly treating malaria?! It is a fact, especially in resource-poor countries like Nigeria. Human Resource Managers will easily attest to the fact that work absences and low productivity are mainly due to malaria. And so, we’ve got a problem.

In recent years a lot of efforts have been focused on ensuring that proper diagnosis and treatment of malaria is done. That’s for the medics. But how do you join the fight? Let’s give you some tips:

I’m sure you know about insecticide –treated nets…and probably still don’t use them because of the heat. Well, if you have nets on your windows too and have a good fan (praying that you’ve got electricity to power it), it is not really so bad. Some people react to the chemicals in the insecticide and so for these ones you may want to air the net outside for a couple of days before you start use. To encourage your children to use them, you could work it into the décor of the room and make them look like nice, funky four poster beds!

Be sure to fumigate your house to rid them of mosquitoes and other creepy crawlies. Ensure the vendor tells you what chemicals will be used, how long you need to be away and whether it’s compatible with artwork etc. Cover up foodstuff and take off bedding etc. and then do a major clean up afterwards.

Did you know that the buckets of water used to store water in areas where pipe-borne water is not constant, can be a huge source of mosquitoes? Have you observed them rising from these buckets of water when you approach in the evening? If you have to store water, get covers for them and ensure they are closed all the time.

Did you know that if your bathroom drain is blocked, apart from the fact that it’s unhygienic, the water there also acts as a comfortable home for mosquitoes? So, ensure that your drains are free-flowing with no stagnant water. Keeping it smelling nice and fresh.

Did you know that your flower pots with lots of water also serve as a breeding place for mosquitoes? The water used on the flowers should be completely absorbed by the soil with none left on top. Watch out for lazy helps who want to do a month’s watering in a day.

Did you know that the unwashed drains and gutters outside, bushy lawns, potholes and broken concrete slabs serve as lovely homes for mosquitoes? So, irrespective of the outcome of the suit as to whether environmental sanitation days are legal or not (for Lagosians) you all be sure to clean up your environment often.

Dr Ketch

Did you know that in pregnancy, you should receive, at least, 3 malaria preventive treatments before delivery? Did you know that malaria in pregnancy can lead to low birth weight and increases the risk of death in the baby within the first 4 weeks of life? For more on this, please click on this link chatwithdrketch

For someone who wasn’t sure what to write, I sure went to town! Have a great day, you all and be sure to join the fight to eliminate malaria from the world.

Contributed by DrKetch | visit her blog at chatwitdrketch | Facebook Page 

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LM Fashion Looks

Meet EF Academy Admissions Director in Lagos

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IB or ALevels

For more information visit the EF Academy website
Learn more about the differences and benefits of the A-Level and IB Diploma and Global Curriculum at their session holding on
Saturday 25th April 2015 | 2 pm | Four Points Sheraton Hotel Lagos.
It is never too early to start considering different educational options and what the future might hold for your child.
 
photo source: Bellanaija

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LagosMums Discusses What To Consider When Hiring

The Lord’s Prayer is a Great Guide

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The reality of prayer is that it is as important to spiritual life as breathe is to life. We ought to pray as we wake up and start the day. We pray to thank God, we pray when things are good and pray when things are challenging. We should pray before we take big decisions and pray even for the smallest matters.

As it says in Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done“.  This passage tells us that worrying about anything is futile as worrying does not fix anything, rather prayer is the language of heaven.

The Lords prayerOne of the first prayers that children learn is The Lord’s prayer, but someone as we grow older we seem to forget about the place of the Lords prayer. We turn prayer into something that is hard to find time for and we tend to complicate it. Life gets more complicated, more challenging and filled with more needs and instead of relying on prayer to win in life, the average person seems to find less time to pray (or struggles on how to).

We do have a guide for how to pray using the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). Jesus taught his disciples how to pray using the Lord’s prayer and has promised us that our father in heaven knows what we need even before we ask God. Prayer is our way of taking hold of Gods promises for our life.

The Lord’s prayer is still relevant as a way to pray. As we mature we should go deeper and use the Lord’s prayer as a guide and insight into the way we ought to pray to God.

Understanding the Lord’s prayer -

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,

this honours the place of the father in heaven and understands that God is holy. We should come into God’s presence by honouring his name, worshiping him and giving him praise.

10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.

this is inviting God to have his way in our lives and that God is the creator of heaven and earth, we know that God desires earth to be like heaven. We should acknowledge this and ask for God’s kingdom to come. 

11 Give us today our daily bread.

we are asking God to provide for us, God is the one who gives all good things. We are asking our father to give us what we need on a daily basis. We know that his mercies are new every morning and that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. He does not give us yesterdays blessings, he gives us what we need to get through every day.Lords prayer guide

12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.

we know that we fall short of his glory, we are not perfect and need to repent. We need to ask God to forgive us our sins. We know that if we want to be forgiven we need to also forgive those who offend us or have wronged us. Why should we expect forgiveness if we do not forgive others?

13 And lead us not into temptation
    but deliver us from the evil one

we are human beings and susceptible to falling, so we are praying for grace to avoid falling into temptations which makes us sin. We are asking for protection from evil and from the things that are waiting to trip us up.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

he alone deserves and gets our praise forever and ever. 

Amen.

We should not forget the Lord prayer – rather we should go deeper with each verse. Prayer has many parts and should be a mixture of worship, adoration, thanksgiving, repentance and requests.

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen (2 Corinthians 1:20)

photo source: donotdepart, redeeminggod

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Mums Have Skills

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Mums with skills Many times women who have decided to take a break from their careers to raise children or to stay at home sometimes wonder if they have skills. Mums have skills but many times do not see how they can translate this into being employable outside the home. See below a list of some of the skills that mums have honed while being “mum’.


Mums Have Skills
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Culled from Talentedladiesclub

If you look at the things we do every day as mums you will realise just how accomplished and talented we all are. So what happened when the skills were looked at with professional eye, it resulted in the list of skills complied below. Mums, we give ourselves little credit for the things we do. To give you an idea see a list of 17 skills:

  • Time management skills – aka multi taskers
  • Prioritisation experience
  • Planning skills
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Crisis management skills
  • Communication skills – communicating down (with your child) and up (with your spouse)
  • The ability to influence – you are on the biggest sources of influence in your home
  • Negotiation skills – ever tried to solve bedtime wars?
  • Project management skills – lots of To Do’s to manage on a daily basis
  • Event management skills – think planning birthday parties, bake sales, school bazaars
  • Responsibility
  • Financial management experience – grocery shopping, shopping for back to school, saving as a family
  • People management skills – no matter how similar everyone in the family has different opinions
  • Mentoring experience
  • Creative skills – singing on the spot to get your child to eat their food?
  • Counselling experience – you have other mum friends and we are always counselling each other.
  • The ability to learn new skills – parenting skills is always evolving to match your changing child etc

Impressive list, isn’t it? The truth is that these are things that every mum does on a daily basis, perhaps in different degrees. Mums are multi taskers and are able to handle many pressing needs at the same time, juggling is second nature for most mums.

Most employers would be happy to hire people with these skills. It is your job to bring these skills to live and help the employers see that your skills are valuable and transferable to the workplace. The one thing that is needed is a healthy dose of confidence and removal of a need to apologise for your reason to put your family first.

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Parenting Etiquette

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Parenting Etiquette Part I

Contributed by Janet Adetu

Many of us start the journey to professionalism well before the journey to parenthood. In fact the school of thought says that it is wiser to get a job first before you think of getting married, the reasons of course are not farfetched. Whether you are a high flying professional about to get married or an upcoming professional in the making that has just gotten  married, about to marry or thinking of marriage you will be dealing with the numerous issues of working life, as well as the magnitude of fitting into family life, none of which is an easy ride.Parenting etiquette

To build and grow in your career there is standard you need to maintain and a number of high expectations of you that will portray you as a leader. In the same light once you are married once you decide to become a parent deliberately or by chance the real life challenge will surely overwhelm you.


You are the ideal role model for your child
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As you embrace being professionally savvy you cannot rule out being a great parent too. You are the ideal role model for your child, and other children around you. There  is no better school for the life skills your child will pick up and nurture as they grow than the one they will learn from you. master the skills of parenting etiquette as they are legacies for life and generations to come.

We all know that parenting is a job and a half, which needs no interview or initial basic skills. Mums, Dads, Auntie‟s, Uncles, Grandma‟s, Grandpa‟s, teachers alike have this parenting responsibility. The challenges around parenting come daily and unannounced.

Whether you are parenting an infant, a toddler, or a teenager, the experiences are numerous. The important thing is to act with a positive attitude, a frame of mind that is one of teaching, learning, fun and enthusiasm.

The negative attitude of nagging and complaining will only make the experience of parenting unexciting complicated and a total burden to your life. Of course age, exposure and self – experiences will determine how we perform as parents.

Our own upbringing, general behaviour and etiquette knowledge impacts how much knowledge to disseminate to your children. This is the epitome of how your child will grow up and develop in life. Set the right tone for your child a leave a good legacy to follow, earn from every experience. Good luck!

Janet Adetu :­­  CEO| JSK Etiquette Consortium | P.O Box 53610 Ikoyi Lagos
Telephone:      +234 810-800-3385/ 0813-183-8380/0813-183-8390 /0708-923-0414
Email address: info@etiquetteconsortium.com  Website:www.etiquetteconsortium.com
 
Photo Source: Google

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LM Mum Of The Month: Hajara Pitan

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Meet Our Mum of the Month: Hajara Pitan

LagosMums interviews Hajara Pitan, a mum, lawyer, entrepreneur and blogger. Enjoy this exclusive interview with our Mum of the Month.


LM Mum of the Month: Hajara Pitan
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Hajara PitanPlease introduce yourself

My name is Hajara Pitan, I am first, a child of God, a lover of life who is blessed with the gifts of a family, of motherhood and writing! I am a Lawyer by profession, an Entrepreneur and I make the most beautiful pure soy scented candles.

What do you love about motherhood?

For me, Motherhood is a gift! I see pregnancy as a great gift from God, where He allows us mere mortals, participate in the process of creation, with Him. I also see Motherhood as a “trust” that God has given you lives to mold, people to help Him shape into assets for humanity. I love the fact that you finally get to love unconditionally when you see your child for the first time and that as you love and nurture your children, you get to be loved unconditionally- for a while. LOL!

What scares you most about being a mother?

That I am not in total control! Is that bad? That I cannot protect my kids from never scraping a knee, from heart breaks, from life? I keep telling myself though, that it’s God who takes care of us all, so my responsibility is to teach- how to think for yourself, how to measure your reactions, how to be self-sufficient, so that when I am not there and when they encounter circumstances that they cannot control, the foundations are right for them to be able to get out of it.

Any embarrassing moment as a mother?

Oh my! I have too many. Let me share this one because it helped shaped my career decisions after I had my first child. So my son was about a year and half and we attended a friend’s bridal shower which I took him to. At this time, I was enjoying my work as a solicitor in a fantastic law firm, where I led a team of solicitors. My work involved long days, late nights and quite a bit of travel. Which is why I had taken him to the bridal shower in the first place, at the time, I used to tell people, “If you invite me for anything at the weekend, I can’t make it. I can only make it if I bring my son”, I was committed to spending weekends with him, since I did not get a lot of time during the week.Hajara Pitan LM Mum of Month

Anyhow, at this shower, my friends are looking at him, saying how cute he was, and saying he was so big, they remembered when he was in my round aeroplane-like tummy and the like. My son is staring at them admiring him, one of them says “Master Pitan”, the next thing he says is “na me be that!” My jaw dropped! Firstly, if you know me, lady-like, Queen’s English speaking somebody! Secondly, I had not even been spending enough time with him to even realize that he understood and could process all of the things they were saying. Thirdly, the fact that he could process and respond in pidgin;(you know you can speak a language when you can think in the language), showed me that the person who was influencing him the most was the nanny and not me.

By the next Monday, I was with my boss, negotiated a pay cut for shorter hours and the ability to work from home sometimes and because I was younger and probably not as mature as I am now, I expressed my hurt by firing the nanny too. 

What lessons have marriage taught you?

That my way is not the only right way. That I have a choice what I focus on- the struggles or the joys. And that what you focus on, will grow! Focus on your partner’s flaws, they’ll grow. Focus on his strengths and the good, they’ll grow. Is it easy? No, every day, you decide again to focus on what you want to see magnified.

How do you balance working and family? Does the word “balance” still exist?

I prefer harmony to balance. I think balance changes depending on what stage you are in your marriage, the age of your kids, career… So what I advocate is harmony, that at every stage, you find a way to focus on what is important, to work well when you are at work, but once home, focus on home. Incorporate flexibility and give quality time. One of the cardinal things I tell myself is that when I have a choice between “do-ing” and “be-ing”, I will chose “be-ing”, so to fold the kids’ clothes, make their food or do some chores. Can I have someone DO those? So that I can BE with the kids? Read with them? Play with them? I won’t be caught making lunch while the nanny is playing football when them, I will go and join in the play and create lasting memories…

What has your passion to profit journey been like?

That’s an interesting question that’s still unfolding. My passions are leadership and personal development, so I write a blog on the subject. That passion hasn’t turned into profit yet, on that I am focused on impact. You can read my writings on www.hajelpitan.com.

TresAmoreMy other passion is to help you make beautiful impressions through the art of giving, so I co-own along with my husband, a company called Tes Amour, where we package the most exquisite gift items and present them beautifully on behalf of our clients. Tes Amour also makes beautiful soy scented massage candles, and we started to make those because being from the North, I enjoy scents and the use of scents to create an ambiance. However, I suffer allergies and realized that any time I had multiple nice candles burning in different rooms of the house, I would break out into continuous sneezing and sometimes break out in a rash.

So I started to research and found out that pure soy candles will not trigger allergic reactions because they are pure and environmentally friendly- the allergies were as a result of additives like paraffin or synthetic scents. Anyhow, to cut a long story short, we started to experiment with making our own soy candles and mixing them with only pure premium essential oils bought from the North called “bahur” and voila, I could enjoy them without any reactions. 

Soon people who visited us started to ask how they could get those candles, and that’s how our line of premium soy candles was born. We have now grown into commercial production and distribution of our candles. Tes Amour candles are themed to the tribes of Nigeria and for now, we have Gimbiya which means Princess in Hausa, Ada for the East and Olori for the West.

How do you relax?LagosMums relax

Reading with a cup of tea and a Tes Amour Candle lit in the background. Playing with my kids. Massages.

What makes LagosMums unique?

LagosMums is doing an awesome job, creating a forum for mothers who want to raise great balanced kids to learn, share ideas and reach resources on one platform. Thank you Lagos Mums for the great work you are doing, creating a platform for intentional parenting and directing us to resources and tools to be better parents to the precious gifts that God has entrusted to us.

What is your philosophy of life? 

Philosophy, hmm! Okay, I have 2 thoughts that constantly play in my mind and through the things I do. One is “to know God and to make Him known”. The other is to be the kind of person I would like to meet- someone inspiring, encouraging and who is living life full out.

How do you stay focused or grounded?

Focused! I have loads and loads of big sisters through the Inspired Women of Worth Network, where I am the international coordinator, who hold me accountable to living and achieving my goals. And who expect that we live with integrity and authenticity. They help me stay focused.

Grounded. I tell God all the time that “I am sheep”, what’s there not to be grounded about really? Everything I own, have experienced or even my gifts have been bestowed on me by God. I have a part in nurturing and growing them but nothing I own is truly mine, everything is a trust. That grounds me.

What is your parenting style? 

I am a much attached mum, I would say. My fundamental belief is that I am not trying to raise great kids, I am raising kids who will be great adults. So in childhood, you lay the foundations, principles, Godliness and independence of thought that allows them become the full individuals that God created to be. I also believe in kids learning to earn, save, tithe and buy some of their own desires from home, so my kid has a chore table, he gets paid N50 for certain chores and from there he can buy toys, tithe at month end, loan Mummy some money- he has offered to use his 500 Naira to buy me a car before. Lol! (I say LOL a lot).

I love the book “The Boy who changed the world” by Andy Andrews for reading with your kids and I recommend this post on parenting 

Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate what LagosMums is doing and I am privileged to be interviewed on this platform.
Photo Source: Hajara Pitan

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DALM | Thanking Those Seemingly Thankless Jobs

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Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM: Thanking those seemingly thankless jobs

My children’s school is teaching the students to appreciate support staff and community helpers. I did not think so much of this until two days ago. 

Gutter cleaners LagosAs I drove down streets of Lekki I saw the men who are clearing the gutters. Not only are they working in the scorching sun, they are barely dressed in any protective gear against the gutter filed with murky dirt and filth. I see no clean drinking water nearby or soap and water for them to use to wash their hands. How do they get clean when they want to have lunch? They are working to clear the gutters to reduce flooding for you and I in preparation of the rainy season! I confess I might not have ordinarily thought much about this if not for my son talking about community workers :) 

I have been driving myself around, as my driver decided not to show up to work and I have to say that I have an appreciation for the job drivers do! Navigating rough roads and avoiding potholes is a real task. I know how many potholes I landed in and also know that if my driver had landed in these same potholes… he would have gotten an earful. 

What about having to deal with tight parking spaces or keeping directions in my head? I know how I reel off orders telling the driver I am going to Aunty Bee’s house in Ikoyi, from where I am going to my male tailor in Dolphin and I fully expect the driver to remember all the directions and get me there in order.

My child’s class took a walk to the drivers room in their school to see where drivers rest and take a break from the sun during school runs. The school is exposing the children to several types of community helpers and teaching them how to appreciate them. These things might seem small on the surface but are necessary building blocks for children to learn to appreciate everyone’s job. Adults can do well to pay more attention and appreciate everyone’s role in society.  Lastma Officials

We parents should focus on raising children who are appreciative and understand that everybody contributes through their various jobs. It is a real ecosystem and we cannot do away with any one group of workers. Your job in the bank is not more important than Lastma on the street of Lagos directing traffic.

We thank everyone who does their job well! So next time try smiling and waving at Lastma. 

photo source: nairaland, thefrontnewspaper

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LagosMums Fashion Looks

Seeking the Kingdom

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When it comes to seeking the kingdom, no matter how willing the vessel is – if it is broken it will leak! You know the woman in your office or bible study who tells you that she doesn’t care how her husband treats her? She tells you about the numerous awards and accolades that she has received in the workplace and from her professional associations. She is the head of department in the office and has many people reporting to her and she makes it very obvious that she is holding it down in the workplace. 

Hope and Faith LagosMumsThe truth is that at night when she lies in bed all the acclaim from the world cannot make up for the emptiness. Alone when no one is rushing to her to ask for her approval or signature she faces the brokeness that she tries so hard to cover and mask the neglect she feels from her husband.

In reality God wants us to flourish in all aspects of our lives so we can truly be an instrument in God’s hand. Just as a vase that leaks cannot hold water, no matter how willing a vessel is to be used by God, if it is broken it will leak.. 

To make sure that every area of our lives is well balanced is to make sure that our agenda is based on God and on seeking the kingdom of God. Everything you have and you are is from God, every single thing, every talent, creativity, every gift, your spouse, your children, your emotions, your interests.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need”. (Matthew 6:33

 

Seeking the Kingdom

We understand that when we seek the kingdom of God  we are able to get everything that God has in store for us. We are not defined by our house address or the things we own. These things are meant to accompany a life that is lived according to God’s purpose.

The man who does not have spiritual eyes cannot understand God’s mind. When you are spiritual you can bring the kingdom of God to every situation in your life. However the carnal man, the simple man who does not understand what God has in store will spend every minute thinking how to spend or what to eat. The carnal man is always looking for physical and logical reasons, he might please man but cannot please God.  

“But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means”. (1 Corinthians 2:14)

The spiritual man cannot be tossed to and fro because he is no longer subject to the things of this world, he understands that God can do exceedingly and abundantly above what his heart and mind can imagine. However to get to this level of power there is an elevation in thinking from carnality (simple mindedness on what you can do in your own strength) to spiritual thinking (which knows that seeking the kingdom of God is the first and most crucial step to unlocking God’s provision in every area of your life).

“Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit”. (Romans 8:5)

When you walk according to the spirit everything around you prospers and favour just seems to follow you around. 

Jesus is a prime example of how we should be spiritual. A spiritual man doesn’t judge a matter by how it appears, he sees beyond the here and now. The spiritual man has the spirit of wisdom and understanding. He can discern the mind of God for situations and seasons. He has knowledge and counsel and does not judge situations by how they appear or by what people say.

“…Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—
    the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and might,
    the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.
He will delight in obeying the Lord.
    He will not judge by appearance
    nor make a decision based on hearsay”. (Isaiah  11:2-3)


Like the adulterous woman rather than judge her to stoning, Jesus forgave her and asked her not to sin anymore. Jesus didn’t judge by what he saw or by what people were saying. Also as with the woman at the well Jesus offered her more and asked her to sin no more. He did not judge these women by how their lives appeared or by the condemnation of men. Rather God saw them as broken vessels that needed to be freed and to live a righteous life there on out.

If only we understand the power and authority that is ours, that the heart of man has neither seen or imagined. To understand God is all we need to see the rest will come.

Go for it LagosMumsFor us to take a hold of all of this - the ability to seek the kingdom of God, to live by discernment, wisdom and to desire the will of God. We need faith! There is no spirituality without faith. Faith without works (or action) is dead and useless. We can only believe in the future in spite of what we see in front of us when we know that God’s promise for the future is better than today’s reality.


God’s promise for the future is better than today’s reality
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“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see”. (Hebrews 11:1)

There is no spirituality without faith. You need to take action based on faith, based on what you are believing God and praying for.

Faith is the conversion factor what brings what you are hoping for into reality.  If you don’t step out in faith then you are just one of the eleven disciples who stayed in the boat. No matter how spiritual you say you are, without taking action to back your faith …you cannot receive.

Mixing faith with action is what will make your red sea part in front of you.


Faith is the conversion factor
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How to Help with Homework

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Your child is stuck on his homework and you want to give a few points, it is very easy to end up doing the homework for him. Though it might help him get the work finished quickly and correctly. You have not helped him at all. You need to help him to develop the skills to face his homework and encourage him to be a good learner and self-motivator.

Many times helping with homework becomes taking over the homework from lack of planning, being tired, rushing and other situations that makes doing the homework for the child seem like the better option. Below are some tips culled from education.com that helps to equip your child to build a healthy attitude to completing homework and studying skills. If you ever wondered how to help with homework then read on.

Children doing work Create a Study Space

Figure out what makes a productive workspace for your child. Help him focus by limiting distractions during his study time and making sure that all the materials he needs, such as erasers, rulers, and a pencil sharpener, are within reach. This reduces distractions from getting up to find pencils or sharpeners.

Help Your Child Get Organised

Help him keep track of his assignments with a checklist or a homework planner. You can start by showing your child an example to start with, then let him do it on his own. Make sure he has an organised folder or binder so that he won’t lose all those loose papers.

Work on Time Management

Have your child make a daily schedule for himself that he can use to practice estimating the amount of time it will take to do certain activities. Adjust the schedule together based on how long things actually took, and show him how he can use it to plan ahead. To avoid procrastinating when long-term projects come around, help your child apply the same strategy and divide the project into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Set a Routine

Is it easier for your child to do his homework right when he gets home or after he’s had some time to rest? You may have to experiment to see what schedule will help your child be most productive, but once you find the sweet spot, stick to it. Setting a routine will help him get into study mode quickly and easily.Homework

Give Guidance Don’t Give Answers

Give your kid some guidance on his homework without doing his work for him. If stuck on a math problem, use different numbers to walk him through an example, and let him try the problem over again. If he’s stuck on a writing project help with an introduction to get the momentum going but let him stretch his imagination to continue.

Review His Work

It’s okay to check your child’s work when he’s finished an assignment, but don’t correct answers for him. If you see a mistake, you can point it out, but don’t fix it yourself. To encourage his independence, you can help him create a “proofing checklist” with spelling, grammar, and math rules that he can use to review his homework on his own. Your role is to help your child become a self-sufficient student, not to ensure that he has perfect homework. After helping him create good study habits, stop stepping in, even if it means he gets a couple bad grades.

To be successful in the long run, the responsibility to do work must be his or hers, not yours.

culled from education.com

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