School Feature: TLPCentre

Please introduce yourself and your background?

My name is Bolanle Adewole. I am the Founder and Executive Director of TLPCentre. I am an Autism Specialist and qualified Applied Behaviour Analyst from Florida Institute of Technology.

I lead a core of professional and devoted specialists and actively participate in IEP development, curriculum planning and implementation. I spearhead programs to promote the inclusive learning for children with special needs and believe that no child should be left behind.

I have extensively served children on three continents namely Europe, North America and Africa and was part of the TLPC disciplinary team that attended an Autism Diagnosis training with AACTION Autism, USA.

I am the acting Vice President of Parents Against Autism Initiative, Nigeria and participate on Autism platforms including Autism Society as well as Autism Speaks in the United States.

What is the name of your School and when was it founded? 

The name of our school is TLPCentre. It is the first full Autism day school on Lagos Island and its environs. TLPCentre is a not for profit day school and after school for children and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and other related developmental disorders. We were founded in October, 2010.

Why did you decide to start a Special needs School?

First, I would say it came as a call from God. Over my 20 years of service to children, I have seen various types of children. I came to appreciate in time, that each child is unique, and that some children need to be taught in a different way, by a different and specialized team, within a different environment in order to reach their full potential. One of such children would be my precious 11 year old son, who is on the Autism Spectrum. He, and others like him led me to start a special needs school.

What are the challenges you have faced running a special needs school?

The first major challenge was getting people to accept that their child can thrive in a Special Needs school. Parents’ initial desire is for their child to thrive in a regular school, especially in this culture, where it can be stigmatizing to send a child to a Special Needs School.

Getting ready-made, trained, and specialized personnel with the required skill set would be another challenge. This, we tackle with constant in-house and external staff training and workshops.

Please give details of your staff/administration?

Our staff is made up of a conscientious and devoted team including :  Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist; Behavioural Analysts; Occupational Therapists; ABA trained therapists and outsourced Speech Therapists. We also have a professional and knowledgeable administrative team.

What is the curriculum/teaching methodology? 

Each child has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). The IEP is mainly focused on the child’s specific and individual needs. It is implemented using ABA principles, along with Structured Teaching principles at TLPCentre.

What is the Ratio of Therapist to Students? 

We have a ratio of one therapist to one child for individualized sessions, and one therapist to three children for group activities.

What age range are your students? 

We admit children from the age 1 - 22 years old.

What is the admission process?

Our admissions process is as follows:

• Visit/ Chat
• Schedule an Assessment
• Obtain a Questionnaire
• Client Assessment using ABLLS (Assessment of Basic Language and Learning Skills.)
• IEP (Individual Educational Program) meeting.
• Obtain an application form
• Development of an IEP (Individual Educational Program)

How do you assess students’ progress?

An initial baseline assessment is taken, in order to ascertain the child’s present abilities. This becomes the standard against which we measure all future outcomes. Daily data collection, progress graphing and video footage all play a role in our assessment process.

 What are your Discipline methods? 

The form of discipline implemented will vary depending on the behaviour displayed. We take into account the cause of the behaviour, the intensity of the behaviour before we determine the appropriate discipline method to be used. The ABC model consisting of  Antecedent (the event or activity that immediately precedes behaviour)), Behaviour (the observed behaviour) & Consequence (the response that immediately follows the behaviour) works well for us. .

Depending on the outcome of the above, we then use various forms of discipline namely;

1. Redirection
2. Correction
3. Over-correction
4. Negative reinforcement
5. Positive reinforcement

How do you prepare your students’ for absorption into conventional high schools?

We initially focus on ‘generalization’, getting the child used to performing the various tasks in different environments. Then we contrive practical situations where the child is in a similar environment and finally, we place the child under a monitored gradual transition period in a conventional school.

What are the School Hours and any after school services offered?

Our hours are as follows:

Morning Full time Sessions: Monday – Friday (8am- 12pm)

Afternoon Full time Sessions:  Monday – Friday (12.30pm- 4.30pm) 

Morning Part-time Sessions: (Three days per week from 8am-12pm)

Afternoon Part-time sessions: (Three days per week from 12.30pm-4.30pm)

 How can parents contact you for more information? Or to schedule a visit to the school?

Parents may send an email requesting an appointment to admin@tlpcentre.com or by phone on 0704 631 4389.

What should parents be looking for to decide if your school would work for them/their children? 

The parents should be looking at our mode of teaching; the materials provided; the techniques being used; the level of care and hygiene within the environment; the qualification, commitment and knowledge of staff; the demeanor and composure of the staff; the existing measured outcomes at TLPCentre.

Contact Information for the school?

We may be contacted using the details above. Parents are also welcome to visit TLPCentre at: 18 Chris Maduike Drive, Lekki phase 1. 

You can also  go through our Brochure wallet 2015 for more details.

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Online shopping in Nigeria has seen a marked increase. Unlike a few years ago where shopping online with the ease of delivery to your door was only imagined now we have an array of online stores where you can shop for anything from fresh groceries to children’s toys and household items.

You have the option of comparing prices and and getting delivery to you as quickly as within 24 hours within Lagos or anywhere in Nigeria. See below LagosMums compilation of some online shopping options.

• MallforAfrica - Africa’s largest online shopping mall with access to over 120 stores both in the US and the UK. All items are added to one shopping cart and you get your items delivered to your door in Nigeria. You need to get a MallforAfrica store card to take advantage of all the shopping deals, discounts and shipping discounts (sometimes as low as $1 ships your whole order). LagosMums is a reseller you can get your shopping cards by contacting us contactus@lagosmums.com

• Konga offers a new freedom when it comes to shopping for things in Nigeria. Shopping for the things you need has been made easier with Konga and having them delivered to your doorstep. There are several categories including groceries, baby, beauty, household, office, and personal care, mobile and electronic products.

• EasyShop EasyCook offers a convenient way to buy fresh foodstuffs, perishable, non-perishable, household items and get them delivered to your home or offices in major locations all over Lagos. When we shop for you be rest assured that all your fresh foods are washed, cleaned and repacked before delivery. Our service is customised to you so feel free to let us know what you want grated, ground, peeled or cut before delivery. Go ahead, drop your shopping list and pay using your debit card, everything we buy for you comes with a money back guarantee.

• Jumia.com is an online store that sells a wide variety of products as well.

• Laterna Ventures is a leading bookstore and some of their merchandise include Bibles, christian books, business books, children’s books, music, educational books, teaching tapes and gift items.

Are there some other online stores you have used in Nigeria that you would recommend.

photo source: marcellapurnama.com

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There are some tips to maintain a healthy family that you should be aware of. Did you know that all of the major causes of death (such as cancer, heart disease, stroke, lung disease and injury) can be prevented in part by making healthy lifestyle choices. 

Don’t smoke or use tobacco. Smoking and using tobacco are very dangerous habits. More preventable illnesses (such as emphysema, mouth, throat and lung cancer, and heart disease) are caused by tobacco use than by anything else. The sooneryou quit, the better.

Limit how much alcohol you drink. This means no more than 2 drinks a day for men and 1 drink a day for women. Too much alcohol can damage the liver and contribute to some cancers, such as throat and liver cancer. Alcohol also contributes to deaths from car wrecks, murders and suicides.

Eat healthy. A healthy diet has many health benefits. Heart disease, certain cancers, stroke, diabetes and damage to your arteries can be linked to what you eat. By making healthier food choices, you can also lower your cholesterol and lose weight.

Lose weight if you’re overweight. Carrying too much weight increases your risk for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, certain cancers, gallbladder disease and arthritis in the weight-bearing joints (such as the spine, hips or knees). A high-fiber, low-fat diet and regular exercise can help you lose weight and keep it off.

Exercise. Exercise can help prevent heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, osteoporosis and depression. It can also help prevent colon cancer, stroke and back injury. You’ll feel better and keep your weight under control if you exercise regularly. Try to exercise for 30 to 60 minutes, 4 to 6 times a week, but remember that any amount of exercise is better than none.

Protect your sun exposure. It’s best to limit sun exposure and wear protective clothing and hats when you are outside. Sunscreen is also very important. It protects your skin and will help prevent skin cancer. Make sure you use sunscreen year round on exposed skin (such as your face and hands). Choose a broad-spectrum sunscreen with at least an SPF 15 and one that blocks both UVA and UVB light.

Keep your shots up to date. Children routinely get their immunisation up to date. However adults also need some shots regularly. Such as a tetanus-diphtheria booster every 10 years.

Make time for breast health. Breast cancer is one of the most common causes of death for women. Between the ages of 50 and 74, women should have a mammogram every 2 years to screen for breast cancer. Women who have risk factors for breast cancer, such as a family history of breast cancer, may need to have mammograms more often or start having them sooner.

Get regular Pap smears. Unless your doctor suggests that you need one more often, you should have Pap smears:

• Every 3 years beginning at 21 years of age and continuing until 65 years of age
• If you are between 30 and 65 years of age and you want to have Pap smears less often, talk to your doctor about combining a Pap smear with human papillomavirus (HPV) testing every 5 years

Should I have a yearly physical?

Health screenings are replacing the yearly physical. Instead of every person getting the same exams and tests, only the appropriate ones are given. Talk to your family doctor about your risk factors and what tests and exams are right for you.

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I am one of those mothers who believe that the balancing act with sugar, the right quantities and types of food in a child’s body can ward off any illness or growth challenge. I pay special attention to what goes into the body, because that way I have an idea of what’s going on in the body. After all, they say “you are what you eat”.

These days, fellow mothers-in-hustle complain about the unavailability of healthy foods to feed their kids, and with the myriad of artificial ingredients and/or sugar pumped fancy packs staring at us daily, it’s no wonder this complaint stands. Feeding Nigerian children with foods containing high amounts of sugar is now scientifically proven to spearhead health adversities such as obesity, diabetes, osteoporosis, insomnia, infertility and hyperactivity. These disorders can be prevented if only we pay apt attention to our children’s diet.

Sugar; It’s most natural states are Sucrose, Fructose, Galactose, Maltose, Lactose and Glucose. Then, there are the artificial sweeteners such as Aspartame, Saccharine, Stevia etc synthesized for technical or economic reasons by manufacturing companies. These sweetened additives have their own issues. About 35% of a child’s daily diet is perfect with natural sugars, however we often encourage them to exceed this scale by providing them with foods containing too many processed sugars. Tinned foods, carbonated drinks, and packaged snacks are primary suspects for high blood sugar.

For instance, yam, rice and garri already contain large amounts of glucose, it would be terrible to add a carbonated drink, a sweetened beverage and sugar-glazed pastries to your child’s lunch box for the same day. Since children generally weigh much less than the average adult, the sugar in their blood should be balanced. In other words, it should be high enough to let them run around the yard or throw Frisbee’s at the park for hours, but low enough to help them sleep throughout the night without experiencing frequent disturbances before dawn. Balance, not omission is key.

Your best bet to achieving a balanced sugar diet is this: Do put some biscuits in their lunch box but make sure you are opting for soda crackers or sugar-free biscuits. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the biscuits would be bitter or devoid of any sugar, it just means that artificial sweeteners would have been replaced with unprocessed sugars, like glucose. If your children are above 12 months old, then you can replace raw sugar in their chocolate beverage with honey. Honey contains fructose which is healthier for the blood than glucose. It is also easily digested and doesn’t cause so much excitement in the nerves (if you know what I mean). Since most milk drinks are stuffed with processed sugars, you can always buy fresh yogurt which is plain, and doesn’t list any flavoring or artificial sugar on its packaging.

If you get the sugar balancing act just right, you can be guaranteed to enjoy motherhood with children who are of the right weight for themselves, develop intellectually at their own pace, explore without erratic behavior, sleep just enough through the night to give you more resting time, and indulge in the right feeding habits which would ensure a longer, happier life in their future.

Tracy Osokolo is a bubbly, confident, fun to be with LagosMum currently dealing with the Terrible Two’s. She is a Managing Partner at The LoveStruck Bakery.

LoveStruck is the one-stop Luxury and Celebrations brand for: Cakes | Gifts | Honeymoons | Health Foods | Events Management

Link Up on:
Phone: +234 (0) 7032515712
Email: tracy@lovestruck.ng

Photo Source: TheGuardian

Related articles across the web

• Is Sugar Toxic?

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We all get it! Parenting advice we did not ask for. Here are some tips culled from Childdevelopmentinfo on handling unwanted parenting advice. 

“If I were you…”

We’ve all heard this line before. The truth is if the person saying this to you was in your position, they would probably be just as annoyed by the dispensing of unsolicited advice.

But before you get angry or exhibit an icy attitude, here are some tips to help you counter those comments without offending the advice-giver.

Know the intention. Most people mean well, while some like to hear themselves speak and want to be the one who knows it all. But, underneath it all, they only want to help and are basically harmless.

Listen. It never hurts to listen to what someone else has to say. At some point in their statements to you, you might pick up a grain of something useful that you can use. You’ll never know if you tune them out or walk away.

Let it flow right on through. Just because someone offers you their advice doesn’t mean that you’re duty-bound to take it. It may not even apply to your situation. If it does, you can thank them for their contribution. If not, you can do the same without feeling compelled to follow it or argue the point.

Agree or disagree without argument. Even if you strongly disagree with what they’re suggesting, an argument is not necessary. You don’t even have to state your opinion if you don’t want to. Make the decision within yourself and leave it at that.

Do your homework. There is no substitute for knowledge. Take comfort in the fact that you can use your resources to find a solution and don’t have to solely depend on advice from others. Research options for yourself.

Be gracious. No matter what is said, thank the person for their words. Even if you don’t like what they’ve said, a kind word will let you depart without need for argument or further listening on your part.

Read more on Child Development

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President Obama commends Nigerian student Saheela Ibraheem, a 19-year-old girl, who made history, as her academic achievements were recognised by the Obamas on February 26, 2015. Barack and Michelle Obama hosted a special reception at the White House to mark the “Black History Month”.

Saheela Ibraheem is a neurobiology student at Harvard. She got her admission at the age of 15 and is going to graduate this May. leading her to become one of the youngest students in the university’s history.

Now the US girl of Nigerian origin has stormed the lost of the 50 world’s  smartest teenagers.

The Leadership reports that the US President commended the genius student by saying:

“There are a lot of teenagers in the world. Saheela is like one of the 50 smartest ones. That’s pretty smart. And she’s a wonderful young lady. She’s like the State Department and the National Institute of Health all rolled into one. And we are so proud of your accomplishments and all that lies ahead of you. And you reflect our history. Young people like you inspire our future.”

Saheela got almost perfect SAT scores and applied to fourteen different colleges, unsure if any would admit her at such a young age. She was accepted to thirteen schools, including six out of the seven Ivy League colleges to which she applied. After visiting its campus and falling in love with the student culture and educational opportunities there, Saheela and her family decided that Harvard was the best choice for her. 

Source: Naij.com, stemcp

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You walk into a room and all the women look good, makeup intact, weave on in place and latest bags. So when you are asked to take off the mask you all kind of steal glances at each other and wonder who they are talking to. Yes this is the way that most gatherings can look. Everyone looks like they have just gotten off a plane with in vogue clothes and all looking well put together.

As women we know how to package and to make everything look alright. Indeed it seems that the beauty industry has a mission to help women hide behind their various masks. They have so kindly helped with all the tools to turn out looking perfect – concealers for under eye bags, primer to make skin look smooth and shimmer to add a seemingly healthy glow. It is almost like a woman has no excuse to show up outside her house without looking like everything is perfect.

We have been told that women are multi-taskers but in reality more and more women suffer in silence under the weight of all their different realities. The role of the woman as a mum, home-maker and wife has not changed. The world who needs the women to be in control of these aspects has not changed their demands. Rather all the other demands to be a colleague, employer, active in church and community are additional and the woman just rises up to it all. The master juggler.

No wonder the question of how to do it all and the skill of wearing the mask is an art form.

In reality women need to drop the mask – let us realise that there is nothing wrong with asking for help, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather it is gives you the chance to succeed in all the areas you need to.

The theme of this Womens Day is “Make It Happen” and it resonated with me so much because to make it happen (whatever your it is)  you need a support system, you need information, you need ideas, you need ambassadors who cheer you on and who encourage you and you need to agree that you need help. The help that you need will vary from time to time and from type to type. Help at some point might be a nanny, at a point it might be a personal assistant, sometimes the help might be the use of the word “No”. No is necessary because you cannot do everything that comes your way. There are some roles that we cannot delegate totally and these are the roles of mum, wife and being yourself.

So women let us take off the mask that we tend to hide behind and the image we portray of having it all together. Admit that sometimes what we need might just be an honest conversation that lets us see that we are not alone in our journey and yet we can be encouraged that we can be successful in all the roles we have to play.

photo source: dreampathways.org

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Contributed by Ayo Iyilola-Olumide

This is the series from last week on the age old discussion on stay at home versus working mums continued.

Many women work for different reasons. If your parents were divorced and you watched your mum raise seven kids alone with little or no support from your dad, then you will probably grow up with a mentality not to depend on any man, not even your husband. You will want to earn every penny you can and give your kids the best and avoid your mum’s plight as much as possible.

Some cultures do not support or invest in girls’ education and if you are lucky to escape from one of these oppressing cultures, get a college scholarship and then a great job; you will not want all that effort to go to waste and as a result you will feel driven to work outside the home.

Many women fear that their husbands will not provide adequately for their needs and their kids so everyone is trying to stash away funds in an escrow account, start up a business or earn their own money just in case the rainy day is here.

So, never compare yourself with anyone, you never know what issues they are struggling with or what odds are against them. Stay focused on what your priorities are and give your best at it whether you choose to join the rat race or slow down and ‘tend the nest’.

There’s no wrong or right answer and the SAHM shouldn’t judge the WM as if she’s made a wrong choice and versa. You can share your own convictions but not to demean or make people feel inferior. We are all driven by different things and have different life situations and that will determine what drives us. I guess at the end of the day it is only our kids who will be able to affirm in the end if we made the right choices or not.

As a SAHM, be thankful, your hubby can take care of you all and allow you the privilege to stay in the nest with the chicks. Others have a double income and still cannot pay their bills. A WM should look for opportunities to serve or support others than spend all her income on her family alone.

Being a stay-at-home-mum is exhausting, demanding but rewarding. Most times you will feel you are losing your mind but you can look back over the years, I hope and see rewards for your effort. A number of stay-at-home-mums are educated compared to what people think but have made some different choices. They prepare their kids lunch bag instead of their kids eating at the school’s café.

They want to do school drop offs and pick ups rather than send the nanny and driver. They want to ride their bikes and swim with their kids after school instead of keeping them late in after-school clubs. They want to read a bedtime story and tuck them in for the night instead of a babysitter doing that.

It just depends on your priorities, what are your values and what legacy do you want to leave behind. A close friend of mine told me while she grew up, her mum got her all the toys money could buy, they also had travelled overseas every now and then but they have an estranged relationship now she is an adult.

Imagine after working all those years to give your kids the best in life and now in the ‘evening’ of your life, you’re lonely as no one calls or visits you, you even yearn to see your grandkids but everyone is too busy for you.

A SAHM struggles with a lot of jealousy, looking out at her friends’ being able to afford much more than her, she may begin to feel insecure. As a result, many who decide to stay at home are pressured to go back to work after a few years because of this inferiority complex

When ladies meet up for a drink, the first question is ‘What do you do?’ Many are happy to say they manage a firm or run their business but a few will say they are just at home because the society looks down on them. Many women are confident or have a good self-esteem because of what they do.

Most WM’s leave home while kids are in bed and probably return when kids are in bed for the night but they console themselves that they’re available weekends and holidays full time and try to do all they can to ‘make up’ for lost grounds.

A number of WM’s complain they are just working for nothing as more than half of their pay goes to pay for private crèches, babysitters and all the support while they are away. When you retire or you are asked to go, all that’s left is your family and whatever you had tried to build over the years.

Even with more women in the workforce, men are not taking up the roles of women and so we have shortchanged ourselves by accepting less than our values by delegating our most important role to grandparents, babysitter, drivers, nannies etc.

As a SAHM, you can still hire nannies and babysitters to take off some house chores off their to-do list. You don’t want to busy all day making meals, folding laundry and no quality time with your kids. The most important thing is spending quality time with them and you don’t have to spend 24hrs entertaining them, decide what you want to do each day that they will cherish.

The SAHM suffers from regular burnout; she has an endless list of tasks to complete day-in day-out. You must take a day off or a few hours each week to get a massage, see a movie, and eat out with your girlfriends. Guess what those clothes and dishes can always wait but you need to recharge your batteries to continue to support your family

A brown shoe is first and foremost a shoe irrespective of its color. If all the shoe does is sit still in a rack all year round then one might have to question whether it’s really a shoe or not. Everyone sees it’s brown only when it’s worn with a matching or contrasting dress.

More working mums ‘work’ more than the time they spend doing mum duties and sooner than later they will likely see the effect of completely abandoning their kids to chase a career on Wall Street.

Other mums who even claim to be SAHM, ‘stay at home’ and spend very little time being mums. They make sure their kids are signed up for all the activities in town giving them the time to stay at home alone to sleep, eat, catch up on their favourite reality TV shows or their hobbies. Truth be told there is really nothing wrong with all that in moderation but not at the expense of your kids.

So, whether you’re a SAHM or WM, make sure you are more of a mum than ‘working’ or ‘staying at home’.

photo source: thoughtswithaccent.wordpress.com

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Abroad Baby Things is a guide to help parents who desire having their babies abroad for various reasons. Below is a guide compiled by those who have successfully gone through this process. Read on for a checklist and things to keep in mind as you plan to receive your bundle of joy abroad.  One of the main things to remember is that you must not be a burden to another Country’s health system. Start planning, saving and researching early.

Documents Required Pre Trip 

• Correspondence with identified Doctor (It is recommended to print out all email correspondence with the doctor abroad).
• Medical records from home country doctor which should include :
• Fit to fly travel letter
• Letter from your doctor on status of pregnancy (this should document all the pre-natal visits and regular checks)
• Copies of Ultrasounds reports
• Copies of prenatal / antenatal lab work
• Copy of previous cesarean delivery operation report (if applicable)
• Health Insurance documents where (applicable) – It is useful to show that you are not going to be a burden to their health care system. (Have your Health insurance card handy and a letter ­to whom it may concern showing cover).
• Evidence of pre-payment to the delivery hospital
• Bank statement
• Some cash ­ does not have to be a whole lot especially if you have insurance
• Pay slips for a minimum of 6 months
• Return ticket
• Address and phone no. of your host ­ you should be handy.
• Your host should also send you a copy of their passport or legal status in the country and a letter showing what they do or where they work
• Accommodation – Hotel or Long stay booking and confirmation if renting or staying on your own
• Fitness for Preschool letter from your hospital if you are travelling with another child and plan to enrol them in preschool.
• International drivers’ license (if you plan to drive, in the US, it may be cheaper to drive than taking taxis)
• IDs ­ – Your passport, your international drivers license, your local NG drivers license, your national ID card or voter’s card, your bank card (Master card or Visa card).
• As a mother, if traveling alone, you will need a consent letter from your spouse that has to be notarized. This is required for the baby’s passport / travel document
• Passport photographs

To do before you go: 

• Find a doctor and hospital. Decide on that and start to correspond with the hospital via email with records available.
• Schedule your first appointment and have that date handy
• Find a place to stay and have that address and phone no. of your host handy

To do when you get there: 

• Go for you first appointment , you will do a number of tests (you should have shared all your previous test results)
• Open a US / other country checking account. You will require a deposit ­­ about $1,500 as at 2013. It is easier to make payments with an account domiciled there.
• Get a local sim card and international call card. Though you should be fine with Google hangout for international calls
• Know your local pharmacy.
• Identify a paediatrician for your child. Makes sense to have this near the house. (You will need to visit the paediatrician few days after leaving the hospital for routine checks).

What to do after the baby: 

• Paediatrician visits, baby immunisation, 6 weeks check for mum, birth control. You will be advised by the hospital and given guidance.
• Sort out your payments with the hospital and doctors. Get a zero balance confirmation letter from the hospital ( Necessary if you are cash paying.)
• Take baby’s passport photo
• Get all paper work done – US and Nigerian Passport. Social Security No. Birth Certificate (get copies too). Nigerian visa if needed.
• Ensure you get the passport done while both parents are present otherwise, you will need a notarised consent.
• Call your Airline and book an infant ticket (you will need to add this booking to your ticket). Also request for a priority seat (bulk head seats). The seats in front with the baby carriage/cot for the baby.
• Buy a baby carrier to help when returning home as this is more convenient than pushing a pram.
• NOTE ­ You can use an agent for both passport and visa. They obviously have their own fees but them make it easier especially the Nigerian visa. Here is a recommended agent 

Other Notes:

• Must buy ­an infant car seat ­in the US, you will not be allowed to take your baby out of the hospital without this.
• Hospital bag ­in the US you are given everything you require for your stay in the hospital therefore you really do not need to pack a hospital bag. You just need an outfit to wear home and outfit for your baby to wear home.
• You might want to take professional baby photos in the hospital before you leave (the hospitals usually offer this).
• If you have a boy and you choose to circumcise your baby – you can do so either before leaving the hospital or afterwards.

Related articles across the web

• Bringing Home Baby: The Budget Impact for First Time Parents

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We all talk about raising bold daughters, so how do we know if we are on the right track? This mum knew for sure she was on the right track when her four-year-old Siahj Chase (also called Cici) had the perfect response to a boy in her class who called her ugly.

According to the video her mum Sonya shared on Facebook, her brave and smart daughter told her that a boy in her class told her she was ugly and she had the perfect response. She made it all about the purpose of being at school and took control of the situation – no room here for feeling sorry for herself or down.

A little boy said I looked … ugly,” Cici responded.

“And what did you say?” Cici’s mom asked.

“I said, ‘I didn’t come here to make a fashion statement. I came here to learn — not look pretty,’” Cici replied, adding, “The little boy said I looked ‘bad,’ and I said, ‘Did you look in a mirror lately? Bye bye, see you later, you’re making me mad.’”

Watch the video here 

The video, which became viral on social media was filmed and posted on Facebook by Sonya Love Siahj, who apparently is the mother of the four-year-old girl on the video (Philstar)

We should teach children not to be mean, but in reality there will always be people that make mean comments – this little girl answered with confidence and let it roll off her back. Kudos to her! such a brave little girl.

Source: HuffingtonPost 

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Contributed by Veee

How do you know if you may have postpartum depression? For the past few years, I have felt so guilty about the way I treated my daughter during my pregnancy with her and even after giving birth to her. With time and research, I came to realise that I was going through Postpartum depression or PPD as it is commonly called which had not been diagnosed and which many women go through but cannot understand or speak about in our society.

As I always tell people, the greatest feeling in this world  is; holding your healthy baby in your arms for the first time. Nothing beats that. Imagine going through a pregnancy with all the works, looking forward to holding your baby in your arms and when that time happens, you feel nothing? Everyone around you is happy to see the little one and you are just blank… and then, you ask yourself why?

I had a rough pregnancy during which I was depressed. I was torn between wanting my baby and not wanting her at the same time. I cried a lot then and starved myself sometimes while other times, I was into keeping fit and eating healthy for my baby. I was a bundle of nerves and a total mess most times.

When I had my baby, it was through a Cesarean section due to a small cervix and high blood pressure. When I held her in my arms for the first time, I was so happy. I was happy that she was alive and healthy and that, I didn’t have an abortion even when the pressure was on me to do so. When I took her home, the feeling of euphoria left. I stopped being happy and started being angry. I hated hearing her cry at night, I hated having to wake up to feed/change her. I felt I hated her and then, I hated myself as well for feeling that way. It took me a while alongside counselling from my best friend who is a priest  and my mother to get me past that point in my life and help me truly show love to my daughter irrespective of what I went through to have her.

While I was experiencing all this, I had asked a few women around me and they told me it was not  possible to ever feel that way about your own child. I decided to talk to my best friend /priest and did my own research before diagnosing myself and coming to the conclusion that I was actually not alone.

Postpartum disorder is not the “baby blues,” which usually go away within a couple of weeks. The symptoms of postpartum depression can last for months.  It is a serious illness that can occur in the first few months after childbirth. It also can happen after miscarriage and stillbirth.

Postpartum depression can make you feel very sad, hopeless, and worthless. You may have trouble caring for and bonding with your baby.

You have a greater chance of getting postpartum depression if:

• You’ve had depression or postpartum depression before.
• You have poor support from your partner, friends, or family.
• You have a sick or colicky baby.
• You have a lot of other stress in your life.
• You are more likely to get postpartum psychosis if you or someone in your family has bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depression).

A woman who has postpartum depression may:

• Feel very sad, hopeless, and empty. Some women also may feel anxious.
• Lose pleasure in everyday things.
• Not feel hungry and may lose weight. (But some women feel more hungry and gain weight).
• Have trouble sleeping.
• Not be able to concentrate.
• Feel unworthy or guilty.
• Have low self-esteem and worry that people don’t like you.
• Find it hard to remember things, or make decisions.
• Feel anxious or worried about things.

Postpartum Depression is not something to be swept under the carpet or assume it does not happen in our society, it can escalate into postpartum psychosis if left untreated. If you as a new mum who is going through any of the symptoms above, you need to speak out. Talk to your doctor or psychologist, pastor or to us here at LagosMums and we will help you in the right direction. You can also take the assessment test on webmd.

As an old LagosMum, if you have had any experience with PPD or know someone who has gone through it, let’s hear you story so that we can help other mothers and mothers to be…

Here’s a link to a PPD survivor/advocates story

Related articles across the web

• Symptoms of Maternal Depression Start Before Giving Birth

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We all know people who are self-absorbed, full of themselves and over-confident. They started out as kids someday. So it is worth asking, Is your parenting style raising narcissistic kids?. What is food for thought is that it might be easier to fall into this trap than parents realise. Psychologists say that they are coming across more adults who are narcissistic (self-absorbed) and it can be linked to how they were raised.

Parents who reportedly “overvalue” their children might be at risk of raising narcissistic children. That healthy dose of confidence is welcome but when it crosses over to the end of being excessive it has negative effects on the same children that we were trying to build self-esteem in. Some things to watch out for are:-

• Children who are made to believe that they are more special and more entitled than other children may internalise this and therefore think they are superior to other people. This does not translate well in social interactions. 

• Parents should show their kids warmth and appreciation without promoting the idea that they are superior to other people. In the right does you raise children with solid self-esteem.

• Brummelman said that by the age of 7 or 8, children develop the ability to describe whether they are happy with themselves or not. It is also at this age that they start to compare themselves with others. It is an age when they may be especially sensitive to parental influence. 

• The most harmful belief that a person can have is that they are superior to others. “Men are better than women, my race is better than your race, my religion is superior to your religion.”

• Narcissistic individuals feel superior to others, focus a lot on personal successes and believe they deserve special treatment. When they feel humiliated, they often lash out aggressively or even violently.

The advice by Brummelman, who has done extensive research in this area is that raising narcissistic children can be avoided both during the ages of 7 to 12 and later. One of the main ways to do this is for parents to develop a way to convey affection and appreciation for a child without necessarily putting a child on a pedestal and without telling the child he is better than others. 

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Contributed by Nimi Akinkugbe, Money Matters with Nimi 

As part of the Global Money Week, we identify that children need to learn about money. Teaching your child about money is something you might wonder how to do and when to start? Read on about the best ways to introduce children to money in this two part series.

Start early

The elementary school years, when children are being introduced to mathematics concepts and coming to grips with numbers, are an excellent time to lay a solid foundation in personal financial management. Sadly, our educational system focuses almost totally on academic subjects and very rarely is any aspect of money management taught in schools.

If we want our children to grow up to be financially responsible adults, we must introduce them to the fundamentals of personal finance from an early age; they should have some understanding and practical experience in spending, saving, banking and investing. This will help them to develop a responsible attitude towards money and give them a solid foundation for making sensible financial decisions in future.

Give children an allowance

A regular allowance or “pocket money” is often a child’s first experience with financial independence as it gives them a certain degree of control over their own money and teaches early lessons in budgeting, saving and prioritizing purchases. In deciding how much to give your child, consider what items an allowance should cover for their age, and what your family can afford. Naturally, a child should not have access to excessive sums of money.

Guide and advise, but don’t dictate how the money should be saved or spent. You need to set some parameters around the types of purchases you expect them to make but as far as possible, allow them to determine their own spending choices.Encourage them to keep a record of how they are saving and spending their money; this will set the stage for budgeting.

Teach them to budget

Learning how to live within ones means is an important aspect of daily life and creating a budget is one of the best ways to achieve this. Sit down with your children and go over their wants and needs. What are they saving towards? How much can they afford? What gifts do they plan to buy? Build in some of their bills into their monthly budget such as the costs of maintaining their mobile phone.

Visit the market or grocery store your with them and explain how you compare items based on price and quality. Talk about the purchases of the day, the way you select, and get value for money. Through commercials and peer pressure, children are constantly tempted to make impulsive purchases and will need guidance from you about how to make sound buying decisions.

Teach them to save

One of the simplest ways to encourage a responsible attitude about money is to encourage children to save. Little children get excited about their “piggy-bank”; this traditional first savings method helps to build initial interest. Today some piggy banks have various compartments for saving, spending, investing and giving; the child then decides where their money goes.

Naturally as children get older, and begin to save more deliberately, it is important to visit a bank with them to make a deposit into an account opened in their name. Many banks offer incentives and attractive savings account options tailored for children.

Teach them to have financial goals

Encouraging children to set specific, measurable goals drives a sense of motivation. Very young children tend to lose interest in goals that will take too long to achieve. For them, set modest, attainable savings goals. Over time, your child will learn to become a more disciplined saver and can save for longer term goals for large-ticket items like a camera or a computer. Offering to match whatever your child saves towards a long-term goal can be a motivating factor to older children and spurs them into attaining a goal.

Write down each goal, and the amount that must be saved weekly, or monthly to reach it. This will help your child learn the difference between short-term and long-term goals and how best to save or invest to achieve this.

Teach them to give

Involve your children in your financial decisions regarding philanthropy and expose them to charitable giving early in their lives. Children can donate their outgrown toys, books and clothes and as they get older, can volunteer, giving of their time and talents.

These lessons teach them to understand and value those that are less fortunate than they are. This will go a long way to develop a more responsible, caring society as the younger generation begins to have a sense of appreciation for some of the experiences and luxuries that they enjoy and take for-granted. By encouraging this early in their lives, children become empathic and charitable adults who can make a positive impact on the community in which they live.

Be a good role model for them 

Action speaks louder than words. Your children will learn about money values, primarily through your behaviour. If you display an ostentatious, materialistic outlook, this will become the example they may come to live by. The way you deal with money issues, from settling bills to making a large purchase are all-important lessons that will remain with them.

Too many of us look back on life and wish that we had started investing when we were young. Begin early in your children’s lives to instil in them the important building blocks of saving and investing and start them off in the right direction towards a secure financial future. 

In Part II we will discuss some of the various savings and investing options for children.

Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private wealth management. She seeks to empower people regarding their finances and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance.

For more personal finance tips, contact Nimi:

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When it comes to parenting teenagers, many parents become apprehensive. Here are 3 parenting mistakes you should avoid with teenagers. Parents find it easier to train a young child who can still be shaped and moulded. When they reach the point of making their own decisions, parents can get scared of making too many mistakes and corrupting their teenagers. However, these mistakes can be avoided with proper parenting skills.

Below are 3 of some of the mistakes parents make with teenagers and therefore can see what to avoid.

Worrying over Little Things

“A lot of parents don’t want growing up to involve any pain, disappointment, or failure,” but protecting your child from the realities of life takes away valuable learning opportunities — before they’re out on their own.

Your child isn’t a little kid anymore. They’re now teenagers and it’s time to tweak your parenting skills to keep up with them. No doubt about it: Your teenager will test your limits, and your patience. But they’re still your child. And, though they won’t admit it, they still need you!

The key is to know what efforts are worth it, and which ones backfire.

If it’s not putting your child at risk, give him/ her the leeway to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from the consequences of their choices. Of course, you’ll still be there for guidance and comfort — you’re still the parent. But challenge yourself to step back and let your child know you’re there for them.

Expecting the Worst

Some parents dread the teenage years, and when they approach, they assume their children will turn into uncontrollable monsters. Because they have read and heard stories of drug abuse and sexual activities happening during adolescence, they may feel their daughter will inevitably fall into the traps when she becomes a teenager. Having these assumptions is more likely to lead a child down a destructive path and sets you — and your teen — up for several unhappy, unsatisfying years together.

To avoid this way of thinking, do not jump to conclusions when your child is out of your sight. Have frequent conversations with her regarding her interests and hobbies. Staying involved in your teenager’s life will allow you to be more aware of the activities she is participating in, which can set your mind at ease.

Negative expectations can actually promote the behavior you fear most. A Wake Forest University study showed that teens whose parents expected them to get involved in risky behaviors reported higher levels of these behaviors one year later. “Focus on your child’s interests and hobbies, even if you don’t understand them. You could open a new path of communication, reconnect with the child you love, and learn something new. “-Lerner

Too Much, or Too Little, Discipline

Some parents, sensing a loss of control over their teenagers’ behavior, crack down every time their child steps out of line. Others avoid all conflict for fear their teenagers will push them away. You don’t have to do either of those things. It’s about finding a balance between obedience and freedom.

If you put too much emphasis on obedience, you may be able to make your teenager fall into line — but at what price? Teens raised in rigid environments miss out on the chance to develop problem-solving or leadership skills — because you’re making the decisions for them. Yet too little discipline doesn’t help, either.

Teenagers need clear structure and rules to live by as they start to explore the world outside. As their parent, it’s up to you to set your family’s core values and communicate them through your words and actions. That’s being an authoritative parent, an approach that “helps children develop the skills they need to govern themselves in appropriate ways,”- Lerner.

Remember, your influence runs deeper than you may think. Most teenagers say they want to spend more time with their parents. Keep making time for your child throughout the teenage years. Even when it doesn’t show, you provide the solid ground they know they can always come home to.

References: Wahm.com

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Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM |De-cluttering with a Professional Organizer 

I needed a home office, yes I had a spare room but I had no idea how to get rid of all the junk that had piled up over all the years. I mean I still had all the baskets that were used to pack the tubers of yam for my engagement ceremony over a decade ago…what exactly was i still keeping them for? It is easy to accumulate junk if you do not consciously discipline yourself to get rid of stuff you don’t need or use.

Anyway back to my need for a home office, trying to write or research from my bed was no longer cutting it and I needed a place of my own to sit and get some work done. My answer came through when I met a wonderful lady called S – we hit it off thanks to her husband who thought we would get along. He was right we did! Anyways after meeting her I asked what she did and she said that she is a Professional Organizer! A what? I have never heard of those before. So i asked her what that meant.  A professional organizer is someone who helps to organize your space and your life (thanks to Google I found out that there is even a National Association of Professional Organisers).

It did not take much to convince me after she shared a few stories about some very satisfied clients. I figured I had no clever ideas on how to get rid of the sheer quantity of junk i had accumulated. Moreso when you combine my junk with my husbands sheer quantity of papers you can’t imagine the mountain of unnecessary clutter we had.

The day for the de-cluttering arrived and S and her partner C showed up bright and early. It so happened that I had to go out that morning so they ended up in the house alone. By the time i got back 2 hours later, all the junk, books, old toys, broken fans you name it, from this room had been put outside. I was in shock and frankly i was a bit embarrassed by the amount of stuff that had been in this room.

Now the work started, we had to sort through and de-clutter. We had to agree what stays, what was junk and what we could give out. Little by little we went through all the junk. It was an eye opener to see how much you can accumulate and forget about over the years. At the end of the day there were books that am sure i would never read again nor my husband, so we we put these in a box and sent to a home that caters to young children. There were plate sets from a decade ago – you know these are the most popular wedding presents especially if you get married in Nigeria – I guess everyone figures you will eat after you get married. We got rid of stuff, gave out some and threw some away.

Over five hours later we had successfully turned the room into an actual home office, clutter free, junk free and organized. I felt lighter and good like i had gotten rid of a weight on my shoulders. Sorry S, Sorry J I still kept one of the baskets from my engagement some keepsakes make no logical sense!

I would highly recommend them to anyone – they are professional and love what they do. I really understand that God gives people different talents and gifts. Theirs is definitely helping to make your life and home organized so you can have a better experience. If you are interested in getting their contact details do please contact us (contactus@lagosmums.com)

See below a great excerpt of what Professional Organizers really do Lifehacker.com

Professional organizers are trained, skilled specialists who help people create order where it is lacking in their lives, so that they can make long-term improvements and keep disorder at bay. A good analogy would be someone who is not naturally good at staying fit and eating healthily. You could say, “just read a book on sensible eating and exercise” but if that were true, would there be so many millions of books on the topic? Would so many people be unhealthy?

photo source: castawaytheclutter

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Can we take steps that teach children how to make money? Is it a skill that can be taught. Many schools and parents leave this important skill to chance and just expect the child to do the right things like go to school, graduate, get a job and earn a living. However we have seen that the successfully wealthy people seem to know something. They do not only make money they make wealth and usually when you dig further they had someone, either a parent or a mentor who taught them how to think about money. Read on for some tips on raising children to make money.

• Teach them to be good at what they do – Children need to learn the art of excellence and being good at what they do. They need to learn the importance of doing as well as they can and to be encouraged to be happy and satisfied that they did just that. You can help your child on the path to self-reliance and self-esteem by having the right attitude when they take on a task whether school work, extra curricular or personal projects.

• What do your actions about wealth show – The way you view and feel about money and wealth will translate to your child. Do you see money as a necessary evil, a means to an end or a be it all in itself? How you feel about money will affect the way your child sees money and will frame her concept of wealth. Examine your thoughts and attitude to money as you will invariably pass this on to your child. You have a responsibility to raise your child to be financially responsible.

• Teach them the importance of saving – Saving is one way of making money. You earn money and you must save to make it grow. At the right age you can introduce children to the various tools available for saving. Ideally you have been doing this so it is easy to share real life examples where you can show children that saving a percentage of your money or investing in the stock market or real estate yielded results over the years. Children can not grow up believing that you spend all you earn, this is a dangerous pattern to emulate. Teach them about investments and the miracle of compound interest.

• Teach them the right role of money – Money does not buy happiness, money in itself is not to be worshipped. A hardworking man who uses his talents and skills towards his job or business should be compensated. Money enables you to provide for yourself and your family, however the pursuit of money in place of other important accomplishments should not be encouraged. We all know about several very wealthy people who loose everything in one day, or turn out to be rich and unhappy. Therefore money must be seen for what it is, a necessary tool to transact in the world but not in itself a goal to pursue over all else.

• Teach your child importance of education - Getting good grades is a basic starting point to get on the ladder to earn well. We all need to get trained and be good at what we do whether it is through a traditional or a vocational school.

• Encourage them to start a business – Starting a business is one of the sure ways to make money and build wealth. From when the child is old enough teach them and encourage them to start a small business where they can make some money. If your child likes to paint, encourage her to paint nice drawings and sell it to make money. They can spend part of it but must also save a portion of it. It teaches them early to be creative, develop marketing kills in selling and exposure to earning.

• Tell them stories – it is always helpful to share the grass to grace stories about money, tell them about your humble beginnings. Share good stories about money and share bad money lessons as well. You can tell them about Granduncle Sola who had a lot of money but spent it all, saved very little and at the end of the day had run out of money. Stories are still the best ways to teach a principle.

photo source: incultureparents, 92y.org, 123rf.com

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International Women’s Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.  Suffragettes campaigned for women’s right to vote. The word ‘Suffragette’ is derived from the word “suffrage” meaning the right to vote. International Women’s Day honors the work of the Suffragettes, celebrates women’s success, and reminds of inequities still to be redressed.

We at LagosMums, will like to celebrate a remarkable woman in our present day. A woman who has shown us what being strong, resilient, elegant, charming and successful really looks and feels like. A woman who in  2011,was honored as a Young Global Leader (YGL) by the World Economic Forum and was named one of Forbes 20 Youngest Power Women in Africa.

  Funmi Iyanda; an award-winning broadcaster, journalist, columnist and blogger. She produced and hosted Nigeria’s popular and authoritative talk show New Dawn with Funmi, which aired on NTA for over eight years. She is the CEO of Ignite Media, a content-driven media organization operating out of Lagos.

Funmi was raised mainly by her father, –who taught her that her gender should not stop her from achieving whatever she wanted to–  she defines herself first, as a person, not as a woman. In  2012, she joined almost three dozen African women (with the likes of South African actress Rosie Motene and Congolese singer Barbara Kanam) for a 5-day hike on Africa’s tallest mountain : Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.

This symbolic trek, was organized by the UN to raise global awareness on its campaign to End Violence against Women and Girls and brought together climbers from more than 32 African countries in a historic advocacy journey up Mount Kilimanjaro .It also, coincided with March 8 International Women’s Day. After her return, she she was honored by the Lagos State Governor, Babatunde Raji Fashola, for her commitment to gender advocacy.

An innovator in her sphere Funmi has won tremendous recognition for her work in the media and for her humanitarian and philanthropic interventions. She is an African Leadership Institute Tutu Fellow and a participant of the ASPEN Institute’s Forum for Communications and Society.

Funmi serves on the Board of Farafina Trust and Positive Impact Youth Network. She was at the forefront of the Occupy Nigeria series of protests in January 2012. The protests were to resist the implementation of the government’s fuel subsidy removal policy. Recently, she has also been at the fore front of the Bring Back our Girls campaign alongside some notable female figures in our country.

In her spare time Funmi reads voraciously, watches movies and supports her favorite football team, Chelsea FC.

Contributed by Vee

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LagosMums Fashion Looks – Happy Friday

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Mother mother mother’s day

I Wish we could sit by the bay

Mother mother mother’s day

Going to play relay

Mother mother mother’s day

please don’t tell us to pay

Mother mother mother’s day

I just need to have a day

Mother mother mother’s day

we are playing with mushy clay

Mother mother mother’s day

i wish it was half past may

Mother mother mother’s day

I will go for a say

Mother mother mother’s day

I will really really not delay

By TT (7 years Old)

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Moin Moin is a staple in Nigeria, it is rich in protein and a favourite for many. Moin moin according to health nutritionists is a healthy meal and a good source of protein to add to your meals.

Ingredients

• Beans- 2 cups
• Red Bell Pepper (Tatashe) – 3 pieces
• Scotch bonnet (Rodo) – 3-4 pieces
• Onions – 1
• Eggs – 2
• Vegetable oil
• Salt
• Seasoning cube
• Banana leaves or moi moi leaves ( you can also use foil paper/plate or plastic)
• Titus fish, boiled eggs, shrimps, corn beef (based on your preference)

Method

• Peel and wash the beans (you can use the blender method shared in the post – How to peel beans with a blender)
• If you are using the Titus fish or shrimps, boil and debone the fish and set aside. If using egg boil your eggs now.
• Place a pot on fire and add a little water. If you are using banana leaves, wash the leaves, cut the stick of the leaves and line them in the pot.
• Wash the peppers and onions and blend together with the beans until you get a smooth paste
  • N.B the paste shouldn’t be thick
• Pour the paste in a mixing bowl, add a cooking spoon of vegetable oil, break the two raw eggs inside the paste and mix.
• Then add salt and seasoning cubes to taste (you can dissolve the seasoning cube in hot water before adding it to the paste)
• You can add water to the paste if it is too thick (it should be a little watery). Mix well.
• Then use the cooking spoon or a cup to pour the paste into the leaves/plastic plate/foil paper. Add the fish/shrimps/corn beef/boiled egg then wrap the leaves or cover the plate and arrange them in the pot. Do this until all the paste has been poured.
• Cover the pot and allow to cook for 15 minutes.

When done bring it out, unwrap and enjoy with your meal.

Contributed by Abimbola Oki, Food enthusiast | naonuel2012@gmail.com | @fabbimzy

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