We all know that Mums wear many hats but LagosMums have to wear additional hats of a detective, a designer, an innovator, creative director  etc.

The kids are getting ready for book character day at school where they have to go dressed as their favourite characters from any book of their choice. The easy way out of course is for them to go dressed in the costumes we already have at home – spiderman, tinkerbell etc. This does not take much creativity and after awhile though the kids (or at least I do) get bored of wearing the same costumes and mixing costume dress up with creatively looking like a book character.

The additional challenge is that in Lagos its not like we have the luxury of going to the mall or party store to pick out a book character costume or order online with overnight delivery (because I only remember these things a few days to the time).

Anyways with the LagosMums hat on I proceed to solve this matter by -

1. Making appointment with Tailor to come by for measurements to re-create the characters of choice
2. Asking kids about their general preferred characters with specific rules –  they must be able to tell me the story about said character, choice is based on the ease of attempt to recreate the outfit. So though we are being creative we are not going to try and re-create Thomas the Engine!
3. Googling to find images of the character costumes, while steering them away from complex option see point above.
4. Once we selected the preferred costume, printed it out ready as sample for the tailor to recreate.
5. Tailor shows up and we describe as best as possible the costume and take the necessary measurements  (we are praying hard that there is no let down on this)
6. Negotiate with tailor who wants to charge for “Express” I succeed in knocking off a little bit just to feel I negotiated.
7. Use BB and twitter (who said social media is not a necessity) to look for source of a wig that goes with the costume…and luckily a mum did have this wig! Thank you

We are all ready for Book Character day now.

Will share the pictures of the costumes here…join us in prayer that the tailor gets it on the first try and we hope that we don’t have to revert to good ol’ superman and tinker bell again.

Please introduce your self?

My name is Iheoma Obibi, I am an African feminist, writer, wife, mother of 2, sister, all round trouble maker vis my work on gender rights and advocacy, and more recently owner of the SME Intimate Pleasures Desires of the Heart.

I have an MA with distinction in Communications Policy Studies from City University, London and a first degree on African Women in the Third World from North East London Polytechnic (now University of East London). I dropped out of the Phd I started at University of Warwick after two years it just was not working with my commuting to Warwick from London, my new baby and my job which involved a lot of traveling at the time. Still considering going back to finish it off but not sure I have enough time…….. if only.

What can I say about my background, I am the child of a survivor of domestic violence and that is how my passion for the rights of women came into being. I just knew from an early age I wanted to be a writer and I wanted to help women. Someone has to stick their necks out to advocate on behalf of women too frightened to do anything. That is where my passion comes from.

What do you do?

In my day job, I am the Executive Director of Alliances for Africa, an international NGO working on the human rights of women through legislative advocacy, promotion and the protection of women’s human rights and other strategic entry points. I am also a consultant in the areas of gender mainstreaming, training, and public policy formulation. I have worked with various agencies including International Alert, Commonwealth Secretariat, OECD and a number of others.

I am also the Creative Director for Intimate Pleasures Desires of the Heart a sex-positive online adult novelty store aiming to offer the best selection of sexual health products and erotica sourced from around the world that enhance the sexual expression and sexuality of Nigerian women in intimate relationships. We offer several services, seminars around intimacy and wellness for Nigerian women, counselling services, bridal showers and bachelorette parties and special hampers for those special occasions.  We are a holistic service for women and their partners on sexual well-being, intimacy and health.

What is your view on the Nigerian Woman’s Voice?

Do we have a voice as women in Nigeria? Let’s be honest with ourselves. We are lost in the piety of religious doctrine and being perceived as “good and responsible women” we are no longer able to make or even take a decision on a topic or issue we feel strongly about because we do not want to go against the grain. We do not want to be perceived as different from the others. Every day I am asked, why do I publicly declare that I am an African feminist. I do not need to tell anyone, just keep it to yourself and my response is always the same. I need to create the space for others to not be afraid of speaking their minds. So yes I am an African feminist because it gives me the framework to understand and articulate my concerns in the knowledge that my voice will be part of a change in our community. Every day, my husband is told, that your “crazy wife” and every day I just think to myself, woa! For having a voice, am now crazy.

How can we Women make changes?

To be able to have a voice we as Nigerian women need to stop looking at others to “affirm” our belief in ourselves and our capabilities. There has to be a concerted effort to raise young women to be confident and have self-assurance of their very worth as human beings. Often times, I see young women who are incapable of making any decision that concerns them or their self-development but have left it to someone else to do on their behalf. Often times, the decisions that person makes for you is not the best and may or may-not make you unhappy.

We must always say it as it is. What do I mean, we all know someone who beats his wife. In fact, you may have a reader who is in this situation right now but has never identified herself as a victim because it does not happen every day. She does not necessarily want to “scatter her marriage” as is said here but her friends should be honest and not pretend it does not happen. This is what I mean by saying it as it is. I am aware that this is very difficult here in a societal climate where no one wants to “rock the boat” when things go wrong.

In our tiny little spaces, we should always aim to be a change agent in our spheres of influence. Sometimes, it is just a tiny space but we can negotiate and manuver our way as women using informal and formal channels of communications. I know how many places I have been to using these very same informal channels of mediation using the networks of women as sisters (those married into one village or cousins twice removed or one aunty knowing off or one big aunty whose ex-husband was so and so) you get the drift. It does work and it is possible.

Be positive because we all have daughters and they are the future. We need to equip them with the skills set to succeed because patriarchy is a bummer. It’s not going to change soon.

On to the softer side – What are some of the intimacy issues that Nigerian women face with their spouses?

The myriad of intimacy issues Nigerian women face in their relationships as with everything else comes down to some intrinsically basic assumptions about our perceptions of marriage, desire to get married and expectations in marriage. For those women who got “married because the time was right”, many of these did not negotiate their comfort zones with their husbands. Some now find that after two or three kids, intimacy is not as it used to be, maybe his penis was small and has now shrunk with age or he never was able to reach that “g-spot” which now leaves you sexually dis-satisfied and a lack of communication compounds the problem. A few men will call the advice line and make it clear that there are certain sexual acts they would rather their girl-friends do and not their wives the mother of their children. It’s a very confusing scenario for many couples, resulting in frustration and in some extreme cases infidelity.

What are some tips you have in general for LagosMums on intimacy?

Effective communications for both partners are keys to a successful relationship. If you find that after you’ve had children your body has changed (this is very common) and what used to turn you on no longer applies, you better let him know so that he can try other tricks to get you going. Remember, it takes women longer to climax than men so fore-play is very important to getting a women’s engine going.

Taking time out to have “husband and wife” dates. To the movies, this is important to ensuring you demonstrate your love and commitment to each other.  Does not have to be every day but could be every few weeks and you both rekindle how it used to be before all the hustle and bustle of parenting took over.

Can you share your Contact details?

Intimate Pleasures Desires of the Heart www.myintimatepleasureshop.com can also be purchased on www.konga.com/intimate-pleasures

My Mummy is peace to me

My Mummy is gentle

My Mummy is like me

My Mummy is healthy

My Mummy is good

Happy Mothers Day!

Mother’s Day poem from a six year old.

Who else wonders what people mean when they exclaim that a mum doesn’t look like she has kids?

You know those comments such as -

“Waow she don’t look like she has kids “

“Ah Iya oni gba”…comment meaning this mother doesn’t want to ‘gree…aka you are trying too hard…aka a mum should not look this “trendy”

“ You are ready for number 4”…this means if you are looking this good then it is an invitation and time for your husband to get busy impregnating you again..

You get the idea of these types of comments –

babybirthbasics

So the question is, is there an acceptable way a mum should look? What qualifies you for the look? I have carried out an unofficial survey and people expect Mums to look

• Frazzled
• Uninterested in anything remotely related to fashion e.g. instead of wearing skinny leg pants should still be wearing flares!
• Overweight by at least 20 kg or 3 sizes bigger than before you had kids.
• Not as attractive as a woman who hasn’t had babies yet

It is only expected in Hollywood for Mums to get back to pre-pregnancy sizes, but not your regular everyday mums. Well thats their opinion! Right.

Not fitting into the “Mumsie Category” throws some people off as they cannot tell from looking at you that you are a Mum.

Newsflash! having a child is not a reason to change dramatically, or at least not permanently. Yes having a child stretches the mum, (physically as well as emotionally) in ways you didn’t imagine but our bodies are adjustable and can be worked on to go back to size, or closer to pre-baby size. There are many helpers nowadays too e.g. spanx that can suck in a few inches from the waist line and thighs. Personality also matters, someone who took time for their appearance before having a baby will still try, even if it might be harder, to spend time on their appearance after a baby.

Personally I have to say I had the same thoughts of a “mumsie category” – a mum and wife stereotype until i started having close friends who were getting married and having babies.

So sorry people there isn’t some after birth appearance club that exists….well except the tummy pouch most of us can’t shake off

Next time someone says you don’t look like you have kids…you should answer with and how I am supposed to look?

Abi Mums what do you think?

Contributed by Nimi Akinkugbe

Mothers make huge sacrifices for their families and often neglect their own needs in the process. One area that is often entirely ignored is their financial security. A lack of financial skills has the potential to negatively impact not only a woman’s future, but also that of her children.

Women face some unique challenges that translate to distinct concerns regarding their finances in the areas of earning potential, roles and responsibilities. Women live longer and are more likely to live alone for significant periods of time. Workforce participation can be intermittent, and the care of dependents, children and aged parents, usually falls on women.

One of the greatest threats to your financial wellbeing is having little or no involvement in the decision-making relating to your finances. Whilst some women are actively involved in family finances, indeed many are assuming the role of primary breadwinner, studies reveal that others delegate almost total responsibility to their spouse or partner. Whilst this might be important for the dynamics of some relationships, it can put them at risk. Indeed women often find themselves ill equipped to cope financially if they face divorce, illness or death of their spouse.

Prioritize your goals and assign them values and target dates. Whether they are short-term-goals such as reducing your debt, purchasing a new car or a vacation, or longer-term goals such as purchasing a new home, building a educational fund for your children, or funding your retirement, setting goals brings you closer to achieving them.

Do you have a budget? If you don’t already have one in place, try to create one, and stick to it. A good budget will help you to monitor your expenses; you will have a clearer idea of where you can cut back and save towards your goals.

Millions of people are in a dire financial situation today because they borrowed more than they can comfortably afford to repay. Expensive debt that is incurred purely for consumption can dent your future financial prospects; this includes borrowing to pay for clothing, jewelry, consumer goods, and holidays. Try to tackle your most expensive debt first.

Debt needn’t be negative; indeed credit can be a most effective tool that helps you to create value through well-planned long-term investments. This includes borrowing to buy real estate, finance yours or your children’s education or for your business.

Create an automated savings plan. You will be equipped to cope if you have an emergency fund, a financial cushion to fall back on in times of difficulty. Try to have about six months’ worth of living expenses set aside in a safe, accessible interest bearing money market account.

Women have traditionally been more conservative than men in their investing lives. It is important to consider your risk profile bearing in mind that stock market investments, whilst they have provided higher returns over the long term than money market funds, come with greater risk. Rather than be deterred by the current volatility, take advantage of relatively low prices if you do have the funds to put away. A diversified portfolio will help to mitigate some of this risk. Proactively invest in yourself to gain additional skills through reading or more formal instruction.

Bringing up children to develop a healthy attitude towards money as they grow into adulthood requires some commitment and consistency. Even if you can afford to fund everything that your child wants, exercise restraint and teach them to prioritize and distinguish between wants and needs. Encourage them to earn through vacation jobs and internships. This will help prepare them to lead disciplined lives; the last thing you need is to have dependent adult children during your retirement years.

Have you been planning for your retirement? These years should be the time of your life for new and exciting opportunities that will keep you productive, mentally stimulated and fulfilled. Those who start saving and investing early have a much better chance of retiring in comfort.

Don’t neglect your insurance. Reduce the risk of loss using appropriate insurance to protect the things you can’t afford to lose such as your home, or your car or other property. Life insurance is particularly important for a breadwinner. Without adequate insurance, an accident, a medical emergency, a fire or other disaster your financial security could be undermined.

Estate planning is always an emotive subject, and in our society, the fear of death often prevents many of us from making plans for this most inevitable life event. Yet, by considering your own mortality and getting your affairs in order, you give yourself peace of mind and protect your children and loved ones should anything happen to you through wills, trusts, joint accounts, gifts and life insurance.

With the plethora of information in both the print and electronic media, there is no excuse for being ignorant about the basic principles of personal finance and the options available. Seek guidance from an experienced professional who will review your situation and advise accordingly. You have an opportunity to influence multiple generations by improving your own knowledge. Remember that ultimately, whatever your age, or stage and whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed, you are responsible for your financial future.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Written by Mrs Nimi Akinkugbe, Lagosmums money management and financial specialist. For further questions or advise send email to contactus@lagosmums.com

If you’re serious about becoming like Jesus, examine your heart, then examine His -

1) His heart was pure. He was cared for by women, yet never accused of lustful thoughts (Luke 8:1-3). Peter, who travelled with Him for three and a half years, described Him as a lamb ‘…unblemished and spotless…’ (1Peter 1:19 NAS). John concluded, ‘…In Him is no sin’ (1 John 3:5 NIV).

2). His heart was peaceful. His disciples shouted for fear in the storm, but not Jesus. He slept through it (Luke 8:22- 25). Peter drew his sword to fight the soldiers; He lifted His hand to heal (Luke 22:47- 51). When Peter denied Him, did Jesus lose His temper? When the soldiers spat in His face, did He breathe fire in theirs? No, He was at peace. He forgave them. He refused to be guided by vengeance.

3) His heart was purposeful. He could summarise His life with one sentence: ‘The Son of Man came to seek out and to save the lost’ (Luke 19:10 RVS). Jesus was so focused that He knew when to say, ‘…My time has not yet come’ (John 2:4 NIV) and when to say, ‘…It is finished…’ (John 19:30 NIV). But He was not so focused that He was unpleasant. Children couldn’t resist Him. He could find beauty in lilies, joy in worship, and possibilities in problems. He could spend His days with multitudes of sick people and still feel sorry for them. He spent over three decades wading through the muck and mire of our sin, yet still saw enough beauty in us to die for our mistakes. And you are called to follow in His steps.

Source: Early-Childhood-Education-Degrees.com

The first step of your pregnancy, after seeing the little positive stick, or missing your period is for you to have it confirmed. Call immediately to have a pregnancy test done with your doctor or a lab, the doctor will most likely run a blood pregnancy test as these are more accurate than urine tests. Once the pregnancy has been confirmed there are certain things to do.

Set up an appointment to see your OB/GYN or midwife as soon as possible. This is the first appointment where your doctor/midwife will want to know all your medical history. If you have been pregnant before, what types of sicknesses run in your family, etc. If you can, try making sure you know all of this ahead of time, maybe even have it all down on paper so when he/she asks you are prepared. During the days or weeks leading up to this meeting you may have concerns, write them down and ask them. Believe it or not doctors are there to help you, and they have been asked every question you can possibly think of. Before leaving your doctor may even give you a bag full of goodies all about being pregnant. Your doctor will either give you another appointment or have you set one up before leaving. There are some great books out there if you are really worried about what will happen next or how birth is going to be, check them out.

Make sure that you get your prenatal vitamins, they are very important during pregnancy. If for some reason you can’t take them, talk with your doctor he/she may be able to prescribe something else.  You will get your first ultrasound, around week 20, this is normally when you can find out what sex the baby is.  However some doctors like to call it safe and give you an ultrasound around 10-12 weeks just to make sure the baby is in the proper location and all is going well. You will also be asked to take an orange drink that you must drink in five minutes. You will wait around for an hour to three hours, at which point your blood gets drawn and you can go home. The test determines if you have or have a chance of getting gestational diabetes.

At first your appointments will be about 4 weeks apart until you hit the 36 week and at that point it will be two weeks later and a week later after that until the baby is born. By now you should be preparing to have the baby.  Ensure you stay healthy and positive, it is a good idea to practice pelvic exercises to keep the pelvic strong towards the delivery date.

CEO Bestman Games Limited, Nimi Akinkugbe

The first ever West African Commemorative Country edition of MONOPOLY, The Nigeria Centenary Edition was unveiled on Wednesday April 2^nd, 2014, at the Wheatbaker Hotel, Ikoyi, Lagos by The Honorable Minister of Tourism, Culture and National Orientation, Chief Edem Duke. The presentation was to a distinguished audience, which included the former Minister of Foreign Affairs, Mr. Odein Ajumogobia SAN, Mr. Peter Carter, British Deputy High Commissioner, Former Commissioner for Finance, Mr. Wale Edun, Representative of the Commissioner for Education, Mrs. Adeyinka, Head of Corporate Communications, Firstbank of Nigeria plc, Mrs. Folake Ani- Mumuney, Head of Private Clients, Stanbic IBTC, Mrs. Aisha Ahmad, and Deputy Managing Director, UBA , Mr. Kennedy Uzoka and Professor Pat Utomi.

The board had been formally launched by His Excellency, Vice President, Architect Namadi Sambo at the Centenary Charity Gala on February 25^th, 2014.

This iconic edition of the MONOPOLY game celebrates the 100-year anniversary of the Nations amalgamation. The 1914 amalgamation of Nigeria is of historic significance as the culturally diverse people of Nigeria came under one central colonial administration, governed by Lord Frederick Lugard.

Nimi Akinkugbe, the CEO Bestman Games explained, “This special Nigeria Centenary Edition, speaks eloquently and visually to our diversity and uniqueness as a Nation as it illuminates the numerous and precious heritage sites and iconic locations across our vast country”.

The Nigeria Centenary Edition of the Monopoly board game showcases some of the nation’s most famous heritage sites: from the sacred Olumo rock towering over the ancient city of Abeokuta to the enchanting and picturesque Wikki Warm Spring in Yankari National Park. The board, box lid and charming brochure capture a wide array of attractions, cultural events and rich history.

An array of the Nigeria Centenary Edition of Monopoly

With the endorsement of the Nigeria Centenary Committee and Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation (NTDC), this historic heritage edition of the MONOPOLY game has also enjoyed the support of leading financial institutions including the Securities and Exchange Commission, Zenith Bank Plc, First Bank of Nigeria Plc, Stanbic IBTC Bank Plc, Mansard Insurance and the Joint Tax Board together with media companies including Silverbird Group, The BeatFm, Smooth Fm, EbonyLife TV, London-Based OHTV, Guardian newspaper and Thisday Newspaper. The Nigerian Conservation Foundation featured on the board game, is a non-governmental organization dedicated to nature conservation and sustainable development in Nigeria.

This Centenary edition however offers more than just the thrill of an exciting board game. Embedded in the “Opportunity” and “Chance” cards are strong social messages, that seek to educate players about our environmental laws, promote personal financial literacy, travel and tourism. One card for example reads “You have been posted to Sokoto for your National Youth Service Corps orientation camp collect N50”

Cross section of cup cakes with the property squares on them

A unique feature of this commemorative edition is the inclusion by Hasbro of a special playing token in the form of a football boot. The boot was included to acknowledge and celebrate our common love for football and to honour our outstanding National teams, the Eagles, the Falcons and the Flamingoes over many years.

The Nigeria Centenary Edition of MONOPOLY is presented by Bestman Games, the African distributors of customized editions of the MONOPOLY game from Hasbro. Please visit www.bestmangames.com for a list of retailers and more information.

Congratulations on the unveiling of The Nigeria Centenary Edition of MONOPOLY, Mrs Nimi Akinkugbe!

View gallery of photos from the event

It’s the age of technology! Growing up can be tough, especially with teenagers just learning how to navigate the ups and downs of life.

Today’s teen are constantly bombarded with the pressure to show up online especially in social media sites to stamp their presence/existence. Thanks to the advent of smart phones (Blackberry, iPhones etc.)and handy computers (ipads and tablets, laptops)that have brought these sites to their reach.

Social media sites rank as the number one use of internet around the world!

The Pressure to Show Up and Look Good

While teens have always been pressured to grow up properly, do well in school and become attractive, healthy members of society, they haven’t always been pressured to publicly document that journey by running a Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and posting a constant stream of perfectly lit photos to each.

Anyone who goes online regularly knows that there is no escape from the ongoing bombardment of tweets, photos and personal information coming through the social media feeds. Deleting profiles and going offline has been deemed unacceptable in many social circles, and even attempting to take a break can often lead to questions, comments and ridicule from peers. A well-intended uploaded picture could be trashed by friends. There is so much pressure on teens to show up online, update about their lives, and make themselves look good, and when they can’t accomplish this, the effects can be devastating.

Giving Away Power and Feeling Left Out

Social media provides the opportunity for young people to give their power away to others. Many teens are basing their self-worth on the number of “likes” they receive instead of their scholarly accomplishments or the way they treat others, which can lead to serious hurt feelings when people respond negatively to something they post. Social media can also cause feelings of being left out, as less-popular teens can see photos and hear updates about parties and events they were not invited to. These feelings of missing out can lead teens to become obsessed with updating their social media profiles, especially when

combined with the need to post attractive photographs and the inherent pressure to fit in that has always existed. When this happens, the teen’s self-esteem, schoolwork, friendships and relationships with family can all suffer.

Cyber Bullying

Yes, bullying has gone beyond the walls of our classrooms and has registered its presence online. A 12 year old girl in florida committed suicide after she was repeatedly bullied online by her classmates.  Until parents realize the danger in giving their child an iPhone or letting them get on social media sites on a laptop in their room with no supervision, these stories will continue and only worsen. I pray we wake up and do something different.

How Parents can help

• Never allow your teen or preteen have a social media account without your consent.

• Always monitor your teen online activity. For example, My Space is equipped with parental notification tool and age verification software which gives parents the remote control to monitor their children’s activity as they get to know about the social contacts of their children. While facebook has showed negligence towards its kid users as there is no such facility available there.

• Be involved in helping him/her set up a social media account when you think he/she is matured enough to have one. It should never be based on peer pressure or feelings of want.

• Help him/her understand the consequences of his actions online: commenting on posts, updating his/her status, uploading pictures, friending/unfriending and never forget to enable the privacy option.

This isn’t to say that all social media is completely evil. It allows people to connect to each other and helps businesses advertise their products in a more effective way. However, for young teens, it’s important to keep things in perspective and limit time on social media as much as possible.

I know this is a tough call parents, but it’s important for your teens self-development to limit their time on social media sites and it’s up to you to educate them on the effects.

When children spend so much of their time in school learning, it may seem unnecessary to enroll them for after school activities. In spite of this, after school programs are sprouting up in large numbers and most of these are fully booked. This shows that there is a real need for after school activities.

source: humanipo

Obesity is a matter of growing concern and it is noticed that more and more children are becoming couch potatoes. After school, many children relax on the sofa with packets of chips or biscuits, soda and perhaps chocolates while they watch T.V. or play computer games. An after school program ensures that the child shakes off his lethargy and keeps himself busy. This also helps to reduce the child’s reliance on T.V and computer games. The longer time children watch television and have access to the internet unsupervised, the more likely that they will be exposed to and be involved in harmful practices.

After school activities can also be used to promote social awareness and develop the children’s sense of social responsibility. It is seen that these sorts of programs not only keep kids out of trouble, but also help to produce responsible citizens. To that extent, they are valuable building blocks in a child’s personality. Times are changing and parents want their children to excel in academics as well as in other activities. Whatever the reason, parents today encourage their children to enroll in various programs and develop the various facets of their individuality. Children too seem to be comfortable learning many things at the same time, and gain satisfaction from this.

So extra-curricular activities can be a helpful source to expose children to other skills than those they pick up from school.

1.       Using toothpicks – Do not use toothpicks infront of children and don’t use it on them. Introduce them to flosses as early as possible. Toothpicks are bad in that they create holes between teeth. Teach them how to use it both to pick meat stuck in between teeth and for keeping teeth clean. A piece of floss can get to places between teeth that a toothpick cannot get to without damage. There are some products to make floss easier to use for children to use. E.g. Reacher Daily flosser

2.       Drinking soft drinks – soft drinks are bad simple, not sure why anyone allows children to drink them! They are full of unbelievable amounts of sugar, they are carbonated, provide empty calories and the worst of all these children can get used to drinking them from right from childhood.

3.       Not drinking water – Water is necessary for everything! For adequate hydration, growth and eliminating toxins. Teach them early the importance of drinking a lot of water and encourage them to do the urine check. Is the urine a light or dark yellow, the darker it is the more obvious it is that water consumption is not enough.

4.       Not eating vegetables and fruits – It is not an option for children to say they do not like or want vegetables and fruits (unless there is a medical reason). Parents need to teach them what is right and therefore from an early age get them used to and exposed to a variety of vegetables and fruits. There are also many ways to make it fun, blend them into juices, cut them into fun sizes. Another tip is to get them to eat it first before they eat their main course. Reduce the availability of unhealthy snacks and provide more healthy alternatives, instead of cookies offer cut up apples.

5.       Using Cotton Buds – Cotton buds push debris and wax further into the ear canal. The ear does not need any help in cleaning itself and should there be a build up of wax a little drop (using a dropper) of olive oil will typically loosen the wax and let it flow out. Cotton buds also pose a threat of going too far into the ear canal and either getting stuck or rupturing the ear drum.

6.       Eating lots of processed foods – Natural is better all the time. So instead of corn in a tin why not get regular corn in the market and peel it into the fried rice instead, instead of buying rice cereal why not blend the rice in a blender and create your own rice cereal at home. The bottom line is if something is in a tin usually it has been processed and preserved with something to make it have a long shelf life! Think about what they are consuming and use processed foods in moderation.

7.       Eating fast food frequently – it is called fast food for a reason, they have been prepared in a “fast” way and not as healthy as homemade meals. With new fast food restaurants opening up everywhere in Lagos we have to reduce and limit the number of times children (and the adults around them) eat fast food. Limiting this will help to manage children being overweight and other health concerns that come with consuming excessive amount of unhealthy food.

8.      Not exercising – Exercising is important, a sedentary lifestyle is taking over but children need to be encouraged to exercise and be active. Being physically active includes playing outside, riding a bicycle, dancing along to a child friendly Exercise DVD and limit the amount of time children are allowed to stay glued to the television or use the ipad.

9.       (Over)Reliance on technology – there is bad reliance on technology. Everything created and invented has a good and a bad use. With the invention and wide acceptance of smartphones, internet, ipads, and various social media options like blackberry, facebook, twitter etc. Children nowadays have to be guided and taught how to manage the amount of time they spend on all these. Are you a good example? Are you on the internet or mobile device all the time?

Parents have to model good behaviour! Are we practising what we preach? Are we eating right? Drinking water? Excersing etc. Children are most likely to adopt what they see their parents and adults around the house doing.

photo source: business.rediff.com

It is great and necessary to hear advice during your pregnancy, however handling unwelcome advice take some skill. I’m sure you’ve been told by one person or another what and what not to do during pregnancy. It only gets worse the further along in your pregnancy you are. Someone will want to tell you that you shouldn’t bend, or walk a certain way, not to pick up a baby in case you hurt the one in your stomach or put yourself in labor. As the pregnancy gets closer to the due date you’ll be told many different home remedies of how to put yourself in labor. It can be fun during the 9-10 months stretch of pregnancy hearing all the wives tales, also known as myths.

Some people don’t care what the sex the baby is, probably all you want is for the morning sickness to stop. You may even be counting down the days until the first trimester is over.  Chances are if you have morning sickness someone is bound to tell you what sex of the baby is.  One wives tale is if you are having severe morning sickness is a sign you are having a girl.

Many women claim to suffer from bouts of heartburn during the pregnancy, according to the old wives tell this would mean your baby will be born with a head full of hair.

Right before the end of your first trimester your doctor will listen to your baby’s heart rate, this is to make sure the baby is doing alright.  The wives tale goes, if the heart rate is high it is a girl and a low one is a boy.

Ever have someone tell you that you are carrying high or low and wonder what that really means? Basically if you are carrying your baby low it is closer to your abdomen, a high baby is closer to your chest.  Look at yourself in the mirror. How is your baby sitting?  The old tale says that if you are carrying high it is a girl, carrying low is a boy.

What about the one that if you are pregnant and a young boy child gets clingy then you are having a girl or vice versa, if a young girl gets clingy then you are having a boy.

Also there is the myth that if two pregnancies are very different, say you had a troublesome pregnancy before and your next pregnancy is not troublesome, then that might mean that you are having the opposite sex baby.

Wives tales can be a lot of fun but keep in mind these are not facts. Don’t go preparing your child’s room just because some old wives tale told you you were going to have a girl.

Keeping fit during your pregnancy is great for you, not only will it help you keep your body toned but it also can help when it comes time to push that baby out. Every pregnant woman wants to be able to go back to her pre-pregnancy weight after the baby is born, but the only way to do that is to make sure you can. By excising or working out every day you are making sure you don’t add fat to your body.  During labor it will be much easier to push the baby if you’ve been strengthening your leg and stomach muscles. Who knows, it may even make labor a little bit shorter.  Isn’t that what we all want?

Plus when you are tired and just feeling a little blue, just by exercising you actually increase your energy.

Here are a few quick things you can do to stay fit during pregnancy, without really having to break out a sweat. I’m sure by now you’ve heard of yoga, this is a very good thing for you to practice, especially if you haven’t always been in the best of shape. Try purchasing a set of small weights that you can use throughout the house, like hand weights or wrist weights that can use while walking. Instead of just laying on the couch while you rest you can be lifting small weights.

Get a chair and try doing a couple crunches, 5 to 10 in the beginning to make sure you don’t pull a muscle. Don’t worry you can always add to it as the weeks go on.

Try running, walking or jogging outside. Not only will this boost up your energy but it’ll also help get your spirits up, especially if you’ve been inside all day. Remember, if you are going for a walk to always bring a drink with you. You don’t want to dehydrate out there. Always make sure that you are wearing comfortable shoes, before you leave the house. If you didn’t run before pregnancy, ask your doctor if you can. Sometimes a doctor may suggest you walk down your street at first and increase it from there, if you didn’t always do it before you were pregnant.

If you can you may want to try going for a swim or try bicycling. However, if you find that you are accident prone you may want to stay away from the bike.  A bike accident is something that can easily happen, even when you’ve always rode a bike. Swimming can help you relax and stay cool. Take a dip in the pool near you, they may even have a swim class for pregnant women in your area. This would be a great way to meet other moms.

Whenever you are doing exercises, make sure you aren’t overdoing it. If you believe you could be stop immediately and take a break. You never want to do anything that will harm the pregnancy.

photo source: hellobeautiful

Planning for your Child’s Education Part II By Nimi Akinkugbe as a continuation to Planning for your Child’s education series, here for Part I.

“Save now, or you’ll pay later”

Many parents pay school fees on an ad hoc basis without any advance planning. With the rising cost of education, if sound investments are not made now, covering the huge expenses in the secondary and post secondary years may be a challenge. When your child is still young, you have the benefit of time to select investments that offer the prospect of higher returns. In addition, compounding provides the advantage of additional earning on the interest and/or capital gains on your investment.

What are your options?

Consider the available options, and identify the risks involved in each before investing. Money market deposits offer you a low risk option but the returns hardly keep pace with inflation. In order to accumulate enough money to afford the educational costs in the years ahead, you need to not only start early, but to invest fairly aggressively. After their recent experiences, many people are still nervous about investing in the stockmarket, yet it is generally regarded as the best option for long term investing; in the short term it can be volatile. If your time frame is over ten years, you may consider investing a significant part of the money in the stockmarket. An equity fund will offer you diversification by spreading your funds across a carefully selected range of stocks.

As the time draws closer, the less risk you can afford to take and the preservation of capital takes precedence over the prospect of high returns. It makes sense to begin to shift the funds into more conservative investments such as bonds and then money market assets to carefully secure the fees when they fall are due; you would thus have gradually moved away from the volatility and risk of stocks toward a lower volatility of bonds and the relative safety of money market assets. If you leave the money in the stock market until just before you need it, you may be forced to sell stocks at a loss.

Do you have any assets?

Real estate is an asset class that performs well in certain locations. It provides three main sources of funds; a property can be sold, you can apply the rental income to pay tuition and other costs or release part of your equity.

It is only the highly paid or well off that can afford to fund the full cost of tuition upfront. For the vast majority of people, additional sources of funding are required. Unsecured loans can be made available for relatively high income earners in full time employment, but it is more common to secure a loan against your property or other high value asset. You may be eligible to borrow a percentage of your equity, which is the difference between the market value of your property and the outstanding mortgage loan. Be cautious as you consider debt, as paying interest on a loan can significantly increase your education costs and if you default, you could lose your property.

Scholarships

Scholarships and grants are often overlooked by parents as a source of education funding. From your child’s earliest years you may have identified a unique skill or talent or they may be exceptionally gifted academically making them eligible to compete for a scholarship. Nurture their talent and seek to develop it but at the same time, be cautious about pushing too hard as you might be demanding a performance level in your child that they may not yet be capable of producing, leading to frustration.

Scholarships sometimes have strings attached and may be tied to a particular field of study or may require that a certain standard of performance is maintained. They often cover less than half of all costs so you will still have to come up with the difference.

Will your child have to contribute?

For many families it is the norm and an economic reality that children contribute towards the funding of their university education by working full time and taking advantage of distance learning opportunities or part time courses. It is important to teach economic responsibility from a young age and such earnings can supplement whatever you are able to provide towards living expenses. By encouraging them to invest in their education, you will also be teaching invaluable lessons in personal financial management.

Keep your retirement plans in view

Your child’s education is likely to be your greatest priority, but do not neglect your own retirement plans; if these fall short, you may find yourself financially dependent on your children. Don’t be tempted to withdraw money from your retirement savings account other than for your retirement, as it could jeopardize your ability to maintain your own future financial independence.

Insurance is available to protect your child’s education. Tuition protection plans are designed to provide you with the peace of mind of knowing that your child’s education will be secure and can continue unhampered in the event of a loss of employment, permanent disability or the demise of the parent or sponsor.

It is important to bear in mind that there is no one solution; each investor’s circumstances are different. Seek professional advice; an investment advisor will carefully consider your own unique family circumstances and goals and assist you in making the most appropriate decision, taking into account, your income, your child’s age, your risk tolerance, your investment time horizon, and the amount you wish to save. With a disciplined and systematic approach to investing over time, you will be able to accumulate a significant sum in your child’s education fund. The sooner you start investing, the better.

Did you have children ask you what Easter is really about? Mine did and I decided to take the time to explain. Easter is more than what the commercial side makes it out to be about Easter chocolates, Egg hunts, frijon and the Easter Bunny.

Easter, the name this period is called, is a time to remember the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus Christ made on the cross.

Jesus Christ was sent to earth in the form of man and was crucified on the cross for us, for our sins, so that we might be saved. He was sent down from heaven to earth and had to be crucified as part of God’s plan of salvation for us.

Jesus Christ was whipped, treated very badly by people, suffered and ultimately crucified on the cross for us. It happened this way because this is how God said it would happen.

Jesus was then brought down from the cross and buried but he didn’t stay dead, he had power over death.  On the third day, Jesus Christ was resurrected, he rose from the dead. This was part of God’s plan to give us a gift of salvation that no one can take away from us.

Jesus paid for our debt and sins so that we may be saved, He has taken our sickness so that we are healed. He is at the right hand of God in heaven and is there as our intercessor pleading on our behalf. He has told us that anything we ask in his name shall be granted.

Coming down to earth in the form of flesh, meant that he went through all the temptations and things that you and I face so he understands what we go through and is in heaven at the right hand side of God pleading on our behalf. There is no other mediator needed other than Jesus Christ. He has also been so kind to give us another gift in the form of the Holy Spirit who lives within us.

So when we think of Easter we should remember that God had a plan and he always has a plan. God sent Jesus Christ, the second and last Adam, a perfect person who didn’t sin to die for our sins. He was a blameless and perfect sacrifice and everyone that believes in Jesus Christ, that he shed his blood for us, and resurrected after paying the ultimate sacrifice, is saved and does not have to die any longer because we have access to eternal life.

What a gift ‘Easter” is.

1) Why and when did you start Verify Me Nigeria?

Verify Me Nigeria is an indigenous company that uses technology to collect, manage, and disseminate biodata information to employers, workers, organizations, and government agencies, for the purposes of selection and planning.

The company was born out of a personal experience, one that involved the family of the founder being poisoned by a former cook. Unfortunately, the cook was able to gain employment with another family, whom he gave unverifiable employment to. The cook poisoned this new family, and eventually escaped with the support of the house help, when he found out the police was after him.

So, the concept began as an intervention to disseminate verifiable worker information and employment history. 

2)    How does the service work?

The services we provide are:

WORKER BIODATA REGISTRATION & VERIFICATION

• The biodata of workers (from ages 18-65) are uploaded in our database, for better planning and development by employers, organizations, workers, and government institutions.
• The ability to verify employment history and identity for newly hired and potential workers by leveraging our growing database.
• Searchable database of all registered workers to reduce incidences of identity fraud, manage risk, and reduce crime.

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY SERVICES

• A worker’s employment history is uploaded to our database and linked to a unique identity­.
• A worker’s profile can be updated to show any change in employment status, i.e. if the worker resigned or was released from the employment he/she had at the time of registration.
• An employer can rate and recommend a worker for future employment.

The registration process begins by pre-registering online at www.verifyworkers.com.

Input your name and contact information. If you are registering workers for your business, input your name where it asks for a contact person. After pre-registering, instruct your worker (s) to go to any of our registration centres to complete the process, with the Personal Access Code (PAC) you will receive via email. Once the registration process is completed, the worker (s) will be issued an ID card approximately 72 hours after registration.

Alternatively, your worker (s) can start and complete the entire registration process at our centre, without pre-registering online.

The pre-registration form will need to be endorsed by the worker’s employer, as confirmation of the worker’s employment.

3) How can you be contacted?

Via email: info@verifyworkers.com

Via telephone: 01-277-67777

Via our websites: www.verifymenigeria.com or www.verifyworkers.com

4) Where are your offices?

Our corporate office is in Lekki Phase 1, Lekki.

Our long-term goal is to have registration centres all over Lagos state. Right now, our centre is at the Pavilion, located on Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase I, Lekki. We also have mobile registration.

5) There are so many domestic staff scary stories how can one avoid or protect oneself and family?

1. Get your workers registered with Verify Me Nigeria. It is imperative and in your best interest to have their biodata in our database for future reference, positive or negative.
2. Avoid divulging a lot of sensitive and personal information in their presence. You should still maintain some privacy, especially when they are around. That way, they are less likely to use such information against you.
3. Be conversant with social media; today, a lot of workers have access to social media and may compromise your safety through those channels. Keep an eye out for questionable and potentially dangerous behaviour for the wellbeing of you, your family, and business.

As always, “Trust, but Verify.”

1. Protecting kids from the consequences of their choices and still expecting them to learn critical lessons.

Instead: Allow children to learn from their choices. It’s essential that choice and consequence be experienced. It’s damaging if you don’t.

2. Working harder at your kids’ happiness and success than they are and expecting them to get it.

Instead: Be responsible for creating the conditions where your children can discover happiness, but don’t try to do it for them. Do not work harder than they do at finding it.

3. Modeling what you don’t want your kids to do (e.g., yell and scream), and then expecting them to not do it.

Instead: Be impeccable in modeling what you value. If you model calm in the face of challenges, your kids can learn positive skills from this.

4. Investing energy into what you don’t want and expecting it not to grow. Flip side: Ignoring what you do want and expecting it to flourish.

Instead: Condition yourself to notice and invest your attention and energy in what you seek while ignoring the small, trivial negatives of life.

5. Incessantly trying to control your kids with demanding, controlling and forceful language.

Instead: Get with reality. We don’t control our kids, we influence them. Embrace that reality and you suddenly expand your ability to have influence.

6. Refusing to accept the importance of a consistent structure with clear limits.

Instead: Kids are calmer, happier and better behaved with structure and limits. Learn how to get this in place right away, and surrender to it.

7. Being a parent of words and not action.

Instead: Lead with action, not words. Make sure your life is an example based on the way you live and that words are mostly unnecessary to demonstrate what you really value.

Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His website, www.TerrificParenting.com, offers free parenting guidance and an email newsletter. Submit questions to DrRandyCale@gmail.com.

Parents we must raise children who will be allergic to corruption, who cannot sit down in the face of injustice, who will understand that integrity and being god fearing men and women are badges of honour.

I am just dizzy with all that is going on in Nigeria today…I cannot get it out of my head what those dear innocent girls must be going through! Even if you are not old enough to have them as a daughter, she could be a sister, a mentee, a neighbour….#bringbackourgirls

When I say pray more, people say I should stop saying pray when there is no action…But we must all do what we can! If you know how to pray pray, sign a petition, if it is to protest peacefully then do so, if you have access to GEJ then use it…Let’s all come together to stop this horror going on in our country.

God save this Country from itself!

Amen