I wrote a guest post on Reviewing your Year which was posted on Superworkingmum. Many of us indeed set plans for the New Year but majority of us do not spend time at the end of the year to assess and review how we have done -

• Where did you fall short and why?
• What did you do well and why?

Read an excerpt below….

As the year starts to wrap up to a close, companies amidst reviewing performance are planning end of year parties and corporate gifts.

For you there is an increased tempo in planning for the holidays, some good planners have probably started their Christmas shopping.

What about you and your personal review?

As we get ready for the end of the year this is also a good time for you to take stock of you. Are there things you had planned at the beginning of the year? Certain habits you had planned to change. Projects you undertook?

Most people start the Year with New Year resolutions but do not spend any time at the end of year assessing how they did.

Read more here

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A video has been making the rounds of someone supposed to be the caregiver of a child doing unthinkable things to the child. It is a shocking video of a nanny physically abusing a toddler. She first starts with force feeding the child, followed by slapping the child, flinging the child on the floor, hitting and stepping on the little girl!

You will feel horror watching this video. Parents please we need to be aware and careful on who we bring into our homes to care for our children. Nothing is worth the abuse that this child and possibly other children are facing at the hands of the people that are meant to care for them. Nanny cams are useful to install in the house, but overall it is important to watch and pay attention to the domestic staff you hire.

Watch the video below – Very disturbing

According to lailasblog the case actually happened in Uganda. The little girl’s name is Aneela, the police apparently sentenced her to 3 years in prison for the abuse after seeing the video.

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The way you think about things affect your life and the outcome of things. The thoughts you have could either be limiting you or they could be the catalyst you need to achieve your dreams. Thoughts that limit you could be -

1. Thinking that you are a victim.

2. Thinking that you can change other people.

3. Thoughts that constantly resist “What Is.”

4. Thinking that “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side.”

5. Having expectations of other people.

6. Thinking that having a significant other will complete you.

7. Feeling that you always need to prove that you are right.

8. Worrying about what other people think.

9. Thinking there is only ONE right and ONE wrong.

10. Worrying about the future because you feel unprepared.

11. Thinking that money equals happiness.

12. Believing that the past determines your future.

No matter what, about 1/3 of the people who get to know you will love you…about 1/3 will hate you…and about 1/3 won’t care about you either way! So stay focused and positive. 

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I listened to this audio with Bill and Pam Farrel on being intentional parents and they summarised the 10 best decisions every parent can make. Read summary below and listen to the audio here. 

1. Decide to be a proactive parent
   • Give your children to God & commit your parenting to God — go to God first when you wonder what to do. The Bible is a “treasure map” for parents
   • Repent and rebuild — if you didn’t experience good parenting role-models, you can change that legacy in your family
2. Decide to be consistent
   • Outlast, out think, and out maneuver your child’s inborn bent to foolishness (Prov. 22:15)
   • Don’t give up on discipline & training even when you’re tired, pre-occupied, frustrated, or angry with your kids
   • Beware 5 negative traits — sensuality, rebellion, shortsightedness, laziness & selfishness
3. Decide character counts
   • Kids need to be taught essential skills to experience success in life — spiritual, relationship, life skills & character qualities
   • Who teaches your kids is just as important as what they’re taught
4. Decide to have a plan
   • Three main things kids need — being a learner, being a leader, and loving God
   • Make a contract — listing responsibilities, privileges, and consequences
   • “Summer celebration” — be intentional with family activities that reinforce values for your time — look back, look ahead, look deeper, and look for adventure
5. Decide to be creative
   • Dad’s role is to engage a strong-willed child
   • Be united — Mom & Dad need to back each other up
   • Find the treasure — discover your child’s unique & special talents
   • Creative tools for the strong willed, spirited, or hard to raise child
6. Decide to be a student of your child
   • Understand gender & personality differences
   • Find ways to celebrate your child’s unique personality & talents
   • Tools to bring out your child’s God given potential.
7. Decide to partner with God
   • The role of prayer in unleashing potential
   • How to create a caring network around your child
8. Decide to build a network
   • Find a group of parents you can trust
   • Some kids face unique challenges (eg…special needs, prodigals, etc) which will make finding their treasure harder to do
   • Learn to grieve your disappointments & heartaches. Give it to God
9. Decide to trust
   • Teach kids to honor God with their lives/future
   • Teach your kids how to make trustworthy decisions
   • Make the transition — help your child transition into a responsible adult
   • Tools including relationship, driving, and education contracts for tweens ands teens
10. Decide to celebrate
    • Spiritual gifts inventory
    • How to launch teens into college or adult world successfully

Culled from “The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make”. Based on the book by Bill & Pam Farrel. Learn more at www.Love-Wise.com

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According to helpsathomes, the Ugandan nanny who was captured on video assaulting a toddler by flinging her on the floor, stepping on her and beating her has been arrested by the police in Uganda and will be due in court on December 8.

In the video, which went viral on Facebook, Jolly Tumuhirwe, a 22-year-old housemaid in Naalya in Kiwatule suburb Uganda is hitting the 18-month-old girl when she resists feeding and then throws her to the floor, beating her with a torch, before stepping on her and kicking her. When the child starts vomiting, the video shows the maid throwing her heartlessly on the floor of the living room. 

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We all know the popular saying that says put your best foot forward, I choose to rephrase it a bit and say put a foot forward.

Why do I say this? Do you perhaps have a vision or a plan that you might wonder where it came from? It comes from your unique DNA that makes you who you are, it comes from the experiences both good and bad that you have gone through and it comes from the gifts and talents that God has equipped you with.

We can all have ideas, the question is how many of these ideas can become reality. So many times when we come across a new product or we have a new experiences we might say “wow how did he or she think of that”? some of us might even say “I thought of that before” or even “I wish I could come up with such ideas” .

We all can, we all have thoughts and therefore can think of solutions. Every time you have an experience or use a product and spend sometime wondering what you could do different, there in might lie the very solution that you and the world needs. Don’t limit yourself by thinking that you are the only one and no one else needs it. The chances are that the solution you create will possibly affect a host of people who see value in it.

If God is the true author of your life there is nothing you will do that will not be according to his will for your life. So you have an idea, you have prayed about it and have received confirmation that this is the direction God wants you to go in. It feels right and you have even spoken to a few friends and family about it, but you are still hesitating to act and waiting to put your best foot forward! If not careful you can stay at this stage for a very long time.

Remember the question of the best foot forward is relative to the person who is viewing it and everyone had different expectations. Faith and obedience I believe go hand in hand, there is a place for faith and this is the root of all things really, but then very importantly also there is the place for obedience. Obedience by taking action and following what you have been mandated to do, I say mandated because if God gave you a vision, gift, talent or idea then he expects you to act on it. So you must make a move and step out.

Just the same way a car will not automatically get to a destination without you first putting the key in the ignition, starting the car and driving. It is the same way you cannot arrive at a destination if you do not take action and move.

While driving your car you might use a GPS system or google maps or simply ask people for directions. This is the same way that in your life and in your plans you will need people around you to help you realize your vision, give you direction and encourage you along the way. First you will need to take a step.

Lastly as you start your journey just as you would while driving a car either turn left or right or make a u-turn is the same way you should see your life and change direction as needed. Afterall you would not park the car on the road and refuse to move one way or the other.

So as Mo will say “If you CAN think it …you CAN do it! …it is the truth. So put a foot forward and do not worry if it is the best or not. Commit to doing the best you can and strive for excellence but do not limit yourself by being “fearful” of taking any step at all.

photo source: stonecirclecoaching.com

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LagosMums Parenting and Networking Event in Pictures.

LagosMums, on Saturday 22nd November, 2014 held the maiden edition of its Parenting and Networking Event at the Wheatbaker hotel, Ikoyi.

Founder and LagosMums Ambassadors!

LagosMums, Nigeria’s premier resource for parents and caregivers, offers parenting tips, tools, information, and opportunities to engage with a vibrant virtual community through its online platform, LagosMums.com. The Saturday event served as an extension of the online experience, providing a face-to-face forum for networking and discussions on parenting in the 21st Century. The theme of this first event was on “Raising a Global Citizen”.

L – R (LagosMums Founder and the speakers). Catherine Bickersteth, Abiola Okubanjo, Ifeoma Idigbe, Yetty Williams , Founder LM, Ononuju Irukwu, Tosin Praise-Fowowe.

Each of the panelists, weighing in from their respective areas of expertise, gave their views on different topics ranging from “What are our roles as Parents?”, “Educating an all rounded and Global Child”, “Influence of media on Parenting today” and “Balancing Act- Many roles as a Mum”. The moderator, Ononuju Irukwu, kept the conversations engaging.

A mum at the event – Saudat Salami

Highlights from the speeches by the panelists are as follows:

Each parent must instill the right values in their children, understand each child’s uniqueness & relate with them appropriately at each stage of their life. – Ifeoma Idigbe

Catherine Bickersteth

Parents must do a SWOT analysis for their children to determine their needs academically, spiritually and in other areas. They must also be taught leadership and compassion from the home. Every family should adopt a family charity. – Catherine Bickersteth

Parents should monitor their children closely and work hard to become their friends so they can protect them from the excessive influence of the social media and the risks that accompany it. Who is parenting your child? You or social media? – Tosin Praise-Fowowe

Founder LagosMums presenting a gift to Tosin Fowowe

Mums are encouraged to know their priorities and use a team to achieve their goals because no one is superwoman. Ensure you invest a lot in getting the best of “help’ if you are a working mum. – Abiola Okubanjo

Some things some mums who attended said were:

Everybody needs a support group and I believe that many of us who were present on the 22nd of November, 2014, made new friends and hopefully people who will be part of our support group in the future. I know I did – Ollie O.T.

I was so glad I attended the event on Saturday, (learnt a lot too). I so so love the stuff I got in that goody bag! Well done.

A raffle draw winner

Fantastic event. Well done. You got it rite the 1st time – @lagosshopping 

We thank all our sponsors and all the LagosMums ambassadors who helped make this event a wonderful one! We thank God for such a brilliant event.

Look out for the next event!

Photography by Fotolighthouse Photography

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Ugandan nanny who abused toddler begs for forgiveness. According to Uganda Online, Jolly Tumuhiirwe speaking from prison has asked the ‘world’ to forgive her for what she did. She is reported as saying that “My dad in Kabale was very sick and yet my mom did not have any money. I asked my bosses for some money to send to my dad but they told me that I hadn’t made a month yet and my father was dying, so it kept on haunting me.”

“That is the more reason I referred the anger to the baby but I’m sorry. But that madam (Arnella’s mom) is not easy. She used to say that I steal money from the clothes and Eric’s wallet, I eat the babies food…and yet I can’t eat the food, I’m not a baby, those were all lies, so, I was also not happy from my heart.”

“I feel guilty..ok when I was doing it I thought I was disciplining the baby because also the mother sometimes slaps her, I also saw from the mom. The torch I used was small and it’s not hard. I think, I will never do it again” I ask the world to forgive me and also tell the bosses who have maids to treat them well.”

There is no excuse enough for the assault she reigned on the innocent toddler, the nanny is suggesting she was taking out her frustrations on the baby because she was denied care for her sick father and because she was accused falsely by her madam of stealing – both food and money. It is very wrong for the nanny to have done this to the child no matter the circumstances she was going through.

While her bosses were not obliged to give her money towards an ailing parent. However the big lesson from here is once again there are things that bosses should keep in mind. If you mistreat a nanny, then they will likely take it out on your child somehow especially if the child is young and cannot speak out.

If you think your nanny is stealing for whatever reason, it is probably better to let them go than to keep them around – they are either really stealing or you are innocently accusing someone of a crime they are not committing and they can take it out on you someday, or take it out on your child. There are some nannies who do their job grudgingly and unhappily, these types should not be hired. Rather look for a good attitude, a teachable spirit and also do your part to treat them right.

Parents if we are going to hire domestic staff, we need to be sure that we have someone who cares for our children and home as if it were their younger siblings or their home. If you don’t have the right vibe between yourself and your nanny, it is better to let them go till you find the right one than to manage each other.

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Overview: In a society where it has become socially acceptable to follow the crowd and blend in, Nkoyo in her usual practical thought provoking way has written an incisive book that highlights the overwhelming odds we face daily and challenges us to defy these issues with unwavering conviction. The book charges us as individuals to be like “A city set upon a hill whose light cannot be hidden.” How do we remain steadfast in the face of temptations? How can we maintain our integrity when our resolve is tested?

How do we preserve our moral standards and values in today’s world? Shining Statues answers these critical questions and empowers us to choose wisely under conditions of uncertainty and fear. The book captures the indomitable spirit of sterling survivors; men and women who stood their ground and pursued sometimes the impossible dream. Using biblical and real life examples, the book helps us develop the discipline that distinguishes us as people– Set Apart! Its interesting mix of prose and poetry makes it an easy and appealing read. Shining Statues: the second of the lifestyle series is a call to stand tall glowing with light rather than a mere glint.

About the Author: Nkoyo Rapu is a lawyer and a woman of diverse interests and skills. She sits on the board of Freedom Foundation, an umbrella organization of four non-governmental agencies pioneering social reformation and rehabilitation among disadvantaged communities particularly in Lagos, Nigeria. In recognition of her efforts in community development. She was named the’ Island News’ personality of the year in 2003 and in 2008 received the Genevieve Magazine Award for Extraordinary Women.

In the past 25 years Nkoyo has worked alongside her husband as co- pastor of several churches both locally and internationally. She currently serves on the board of elders of The House of Freedom an evangelical movement with various churches and expressions. In her book ‘Shinning Statues’ she challenges us to rise above mediocrity, defy the norm and stand for what we believe with unwavering conviction. She is married to Tony Rapu a medical doctor and pastor and they have 3 children. Her hobbies include painting, poetry and song writing.

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Welcome to the second edition of the LagosMums Online Hamper. This is day one of the 25 days LagosMums “Online Hamper”.

The LagosMums online hamper is a giveaway of exciting products to a different LagosMums member everyday from the 1st till the 25th of December. To be eligible visit LagosMums everyday, enter the contest and wait to see if you win! We thank all our sponsors who are joining in the festivities. Get ready to win some exciting prices.

Our First Giveaway in the LagosMums Online Hamper is courtesy of “Mothercare Nigeria”. Mothercare offers Baby Clothes, Maternity Clothes, Prams, Pushchairs, Nursery Furniture, Car Seats, Toys & Babycare Essentials. Mothercare is the name for Prams, Pushchairs, Car Seats, Cot Beds, Baby Clothes and much more. Visit their website.

One lucky winner has the chance to win a gift voucher worth =N= 20,000 for use at any of the Mothercare stores in Lagos. The vouchers will be available for pickup at the store in Victoria Island.

They have several stores located in Lagos -

• 21b, Idowu Martins, Adeola Odeku, Victoria Island Lagos,
• C34 Adeniran Ogunsanya, Shopping Mall, Surulere Lagos,
• Adebola Shopping Mall,  Isaac John, Off Joel Ogunnaike, GRA Ikeja, Lagos.

Contest Rules

• Write a short phrase or sentence explaining the most surprising emotion you have faced as a Mother! Make your comment on this post or @lagosmums

Steps for Eligibility to Win

• Be a registered member on LagosMums.com (ONLY LagosMums Members on the website can win)

• All Comments should be entered before 11:59PM (West Central Africa Time) by Monday, 1st December 2014.

• A winner will be chosen at random and announced on the website.

The Winner will be required to pick the voucher up with proper identification.

Good Luck!

Our Hamper still has lots of goodies and gifts to give out!! 

Visit Mothercare Nigeria online

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Kids Activities: Make your Own Christmas Cards

These cut out Christmas cards are simple to make but they look extra special and are sure to be appreciated!

You will need:

• A blank card
• Our Christmas tree template printed onto card
• Red paper (or card)
• Green paper (or card)
• Red and gold glitter
• Glue

Directions

1. Cut out the smallest tree on our Christmas tree template page and use it to cut one red tree and two green trees.
2. Decorate the trees with glitter and leave to dry.
3. Glue the trees in a straight line down the front of the card. Cut around the right hand side of the trees on the front of the card.
4. You can use any of our templates and any colour of paper and glitter to make your cards.

“If you never did you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.” Dr Seuss

Visit FUNdamentals K!D Club for more articles, craft ideas and experiments and activities to keep the children learning and playing all day long

Web: www.funville-ng.com

Email: Info@funville-ng.com

FUNdamentals K!DS Club is the #1 place for Children in Nigeria. With Classes and Activities to help Kids Play, Learn and Grow

Related articles across the web

• “If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.” ~~Dr. Seuss
• Top 10 Christmas Movies!
• Christmas card crafts
• Easy Christmas cards for children to make

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Who is a good parent? What determines if you are? Mrs Idigbe addressed us at the LagosMums Parenting and Networking Event and discussed with the attendees about being a good parent and what determines if you are. There are some value systems to keep in mind as we raise our children to be global citizens. When good values are instilled then the child can stand firm wherever they might find themselves. Read below for more excerpts.

Who is a parent?

Anyone can be a father or mother but not necessarily good parents. A lack of good parenting is key to all the challenges the society currently faces. The chance to be a good parent is a one-time opportunity. It’s imperative for parents to constantly appraise themselves vis-à-vis the expected roles of a good parent.

Roles of Good Parents

• Establish and instill value systems in your children
• Know your child(ren) – (KYC).
• Learn the different parenting styles applicable to different ages and different characters.
• Develop and make listening skills a part of you.
• Be a parent and a friend, not a friend over being a parent.

Universally accepted Value Systems 

• Love without strings attached and not for the view of direct benefit.
• Be truthful and hold integrity in high esteem.
• Humor – the ability to laugh at oneself, shortcomings or weakness helps in being able to take criticism well.
• Hardwork and perseverance are essential.
• Discipline and being punctual, respecting time.
• Delayed gratification
• Taking responsibility for your actions
• Ability to be tolerant
• Contentment with what you have
• Commitment to family values
• Humility and respect

Other Key Points on Good Parenting 

• Care Giving is not the single most important role of a parent because ultimately this can be outsourced. Good parents are first teachers, counselors and advisers to their children. Parents are the examples that children see and learn from, parents are the mirrors and spiritual directors of their children. As a Parent your words and actions must be in sync! It is do as I do, not do as I say.

• Good Parents are protectors but not to the extent of shielding their children from having hands-on experiences. If children not allowed to have experiences they will lack the character to face future challenges.

• Children should be taught the principle that they can’t always have everything they ask for, learning delayed gratification enables children to learn to be content and limit frustrations if they do not get what they want.

• Many Nigerians are literate but not educated. To be educated is to be exposed to and imbibe universally accepted value systems and etiquette.

• Every Child has a different personality, therefore knowing each child and treating each child as a unique individual will enable you to get the best out of them.

• Focus on correcting the child and ensure that the child understands the correction or reasons for being punished. So they can learn from it and not repeat the same action in the future.

photo source: jnjparents

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Ariyike discusses too much face makeup and what not to do. Watch her video below

Ariyike Akinbobola is an award winning Nigerian Media Personality/ Humanitarian. She is a Lawyer turned TV Presenter and she also has her writing segment ”Ariyike writes” on www.bellanaija.com.

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Day two of the 25 days LagosMums online hamper is courtesy of Sheila Okonji Ashinze, CEO of  Zons Holding and makers of Baniaz Juices, a range of wholesome juices  for the children and the family. Launched Into The West African Region In 2010. The Product Is Developed With One Of The World’s Most Popular Cartoon Characters – Barney. Enjoy your refreshing juices in tropical, apple and blackcurrant flavors.

One lucky winner has the chance to win a whole carton of Baniaz Juice.

Contest Rules

A LagosMums member with a recent comment on any article will be randomly chosen! So keep commenting you never know when you might be randomly selected!!

Steps for Eligibility to Win

• Be a registered member on LagosMums.com (ONLY LagosMums Members on the website can win)

• A winner will be chosen at random and announced on the website.

Our Hamper still has lots of goodies and gifts to give out!!

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Becoming pregnant is a special time in someone’s life. There are a lot of body changes during pregnancy that you should be aware of. The best source of getting accurate information about your pregnancy is from your obstetrician. You should abide by the recommendations provided to ensure you have a comfortable pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby.

Body changes

Changes in your body during pregnancy will occur during the different trimesters. The first and the last trimester are typically when women feel the most discomfort. The second trimester is usually a bit of a reprieve with many women being more comfortable and enjoying this portion of the pregnancy. The first and third trimesters, however, are when the most changes. As a result thhe woman carrying the child may be uncomfortable and ill during this time.

Morning cickness

Morning sickness or for that matter a feeling of nausea any time of the day is a very common result of pregnancy and happens most frequently in the first trimester. There also may be an increased sensitivity to smells which will trigger nausea. Sometimes these smells are ones that are typically enjoyed when not pregnant and should be avoided if possible. Eating bland food when a person is feeling nauseated also helps alleviate the symptoms. I found chewing ginger helped with the nausea and the metallic taste in my mouth.

Breast changes

Breasts may begin to enlarge very early in the pregnancy and will continue to throughout the pregnancy. You may also notice tenderness during this time and increased sensitivity. This is the time to invest in a few well-fitting bras. Of course, as your breasts grow the size may change somewhat but it will be more comfortable for you if you have a bra that fits well and offers plenty of support. Try maternity bras that do not have underwire.

Thirsty

Urinary frequency and thirst is another common side effect of pregnancy. Women tend to be more thirsty and need more nourishment including drinking plenty of water. Drinking more fluids coupled with the uterus growing and pressing on your bladder will cause most women to have to urinate a lot more frequently than they used to. This is common throughout the pregnancy but is most pronounced during the first and last trimesters. During the second trimester, this usually subsides a bit but most women will still have a sense of having to urinate more frequently than when not pregnant.

Stomach changes

Stomach problems are another concern including upset stomach, indigestion, constipation and heartburn. There are changes in your uterus that slows the metabolism.  Foods that may not normally trigger these problems may start to bother you. Eating foods that are high in fiber will help alleviate these issues. Try to stay away from spicy foods or foods you find that trigger adverse reactions. If you exercise, wait for approximately two hours before partaking in any activity to allow the food to digest.

Sleeping difficulty

If you are having trouble sleeping while you are pregnant, try lying on your side and using pillows under your stomach and between your legs. This added cushion will often increase the comfort, allowing you to have a more restful sleep. Doing relaxation exercises, taking a warm bath and going to bed only when you are tired will also help with feelings of restlessness. If you are having trouble sleeping, it may be best to simply get up for awhile and go back to bed later.

Changes to skin, nails and hHair

Skin, nails and hair are also affected when pregnant. You may find your skin excessively oily or dry and your hair may lose its luster or thin a bit. These changes will go back to normal after you give birth. The increased hormone levels will affect this significantly. It is usually recommended that you avoid doing things such as coloring ore getting a perm at least during the first and third trimester.

Swelling of hands and feet

Swelling of the feet and limbs can be pronounced, you may also get some varicose veins. Lying on a bed and propping your feet up will help with swelling. Staying off your feet and relaxing for awhile will also help. If you experience leg cramps, do some leg stretches to loosen up your muscles.

All of the changes in your body during pregnancy will go away after you give birth. Having pregnancy information from your obstetrician will help you to cope with these changes in your body and to understand what to do. Remember that this is a temporary condition and even if you are uncomfortable, your body will go back to normal shortly after giving birth. Talk to other mums as well as there are a host of safe remedies that other mums will be able to share with you.

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Read this article on Motherhoodinstyle about the ideal types of mum friends you should have depending on which type of mum you are. Below are 11 types of mums that you should consider having within your circle of friends, some friends can be a combination of more than one type. Read on..

1. Oh! You Too? Mum

She’s going through what you are currently experiencing. You probably met her at the hospital during antenatal, when you were out shopping or during school runs. You both get talking and the rest is history. She gives you a sense of comradeship, fellow mum-soldiers pressing forward, expanding the frontiers for motherhood. Tell her what you have been doing about that nagging problem that you both share, listen to her suggestions, exchange numbers and promise to call, you know, to rub minds further and chat about other things besides parenting.

2. Fitness Mummy

This one is a buff for staying fit. She’s loves her joggers and sneakers, always looking trim and talking about “the other day at the spa…,” it’s no wonder her clothes always fit perfectly. You had better go and get your own joggers and sneakers because she won’t give up trying to drag you along for aerobics on Saturday morning and you will do well to follow her one of these days. What if there’s no time? Oh come on! Make time because you will be better for it.

3. Stylish Mummy

She’s a cat-walking artwork of fabric and fashion flare. Even when she’s strapped with a baby carrier or towing a toddler, colours match and people are delighted to feed their eyes on the pleasant display. She’s the type that knows the right shade of colours that suit you. She knows how to look good on a budget and knows where to get affordable quality fashion accessories. You need a friend like this around you who will give you free fashion consultation that will give your fashion sense a boost!

4. Spiritual Mummy

She’s the one that places emphasis on spiritual growth and development for everyone around her including you. It is usually better to have one that shares the same spiritual beliefs with you. Believe it or not, everything that happens in the physical first happens in the spiritual and so being spiritually active will help you cope with the inevitable hassles of motherhood and life in general.

5. Inspiration Mum

You always look forward to talking with her type because she looks past all your limitations and makes you feel like a Super-mum and more. Oh well, at least she makes you believe that you can be that. She has got the right quotes, anecdotes and analogies that make you go ‘why didn’t I think of that?’ She inspires you to dream and be a goal getter.

She is interested in your passion, wants to see you fired up, working with and around your mummy duties and being all that you could ever aspire to be.

6. Down-For-Whatever Mummy

The down-for-whatever friend is that no-holds barred type of mum. She would give the frank talk when the occasion calls for it and a fun date to bring you out of your gloom or just get that so much deserved rest from the stress of work.  After giving you a ‘fantabulous’ day of excitement, she’s the type to dismiss your expressions of gratitude with an ‘anytime, girl’ type of reply.

7. Google Mummy

What about the ask-me-anything type of friend? She makes it her business to know everything that has to do with parenting and growing children. She is not sure if it will work but she knows what it’s all about. She knows where the latest artificial insemination clinic is, what the average weight of a new born baby is and how to operate the new breast milk expressing machine. She’ll save you from a lot of panic and misinformation.

8. P.T.A. Mummy

It’s imperative that you get a mummy friend who has a child in the same school as your child’s. In fact, such relationships are almost inevitable because one mother is sure to select you as her own P.T.A. mummy friend if you don’t select one. They can keep you up to date on the goings-on in your child’s school and even help you keep an extra copy of the new school curriculum they handed out at the last P.T.A. meeting you missed. Your kids can study together and both families can hang-out and develop a mutually beneficial relationship.

9. Veteran Mummy

This is that mother that has been there and done that. Her children are probably undergraduates or working class. She is the one you go to for advice on how to talk to your deviant teen child after administering some sort of punishment.  The difference between Google mummy and Veteran mummy is that Google has intelligence, head knowledge she got from research while Veteran has experiential knowledge or wisdom. Veteran mummy is the sage, the shoulder to cry on and the source of strength to know that you can make it through the storms of parenting or motherhood.

10. Not-Yet-Mummy

She might be younger or age-mates, single or married, craving to give birth, care for and carry her own baby or not. You can be her own veteran mummy friend that tells her the joys and pains of motherhood. Then again, she can be the one that gives you a much needed break from the smothering mothering worries that take up most of your waking hours. Depending on her disposition towards parenting, tailor your conversations around her social and spiritual life. This way, she won’t feel like an alien with your constant chatter of “oh, my daughter this…” and “ah, my son that…” She’ll remind you of your fun pre-mummy days and make you feel young again.

11. The Man Friend

Last on the list and far from the least is the man-friend. We know that men see things differently from women. Every mother needs to have a man’s perspective and influence in bringing up her child whether male or female. For married women, this man should be your husband though some people will advocate for another man who will keep an objective view as opposed to the emotional influences of the biological dad.

Single mothers need this type of friend even more than their married counterparts. This is solely for the holistic upbringing of your child or children. This friend could even be your brother; just a male with an objective view who can mentor your children.

Knowing the type of individual you are should inform the type of mum friends you need to balance out your life. So which type of mum are you?

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Day three of the 25 days LagosMums giveaway is courtesy of Working Moms Awards. The Working Moms Awards event is a combination of conference, networking and an evening of awards.

The giveaway is free entry to the conference and networking session for LagosMums members. To get your free entry you must be a registered member of LagosMums, tweet @lagosmums or email us your interest at contactus@lagosmums.com to get your free pass.

Founder, Mary Ikoku, says that “Moms play major roles in the society. Through their work at home, at the office and in our communities, they provide support within their families, works, and businesses. 

Contest Rules

Be a registered LagosMums member, send us an email at contactus@lagosmums.com with your interest by Friday, 5th December 

for more information visit workingmomsballandawards 

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Day four of the 25 days LagosMums giveaway is courtesy  is courtesy of “POOSH”. Poosh Lagos is your one-stop shopping experience of unfailingly trendy clothes, accessories, home ware, children items, gifts and bespoke tailoring services for men in a sleek shopping environment.

One lucky winner has the chance to win a N25,000 voucher to spend at Poosh

Contest Rules

Where is the Poosh Lagos store located?

Steps for Eligibility to Win

• Be a registered member on LagosMums.com (ONLY LagosMums Members on the website can win)

• A winner will be chosen at random and announced on the website.

Our Hamper still has lots of goodies and gifts to give out!!

POOSH on Instagram – @POOSHLAGOS

photo source: Bellanaija

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Tim Elmore talks about four lost characteristics we need to instill in our children they are vision. virtues, values and valor.

1. Vision – This is the ability to see a goal in the future before it is reached. A vision is a picture of a better tomorrow. Many students must simply envision themselves graduating; others must envision what their career might look like; or how a committed relationship would work in their lives. Those who are already self-actualized must see themselves adding value to the world. Vision is a blueprint for the future that prevents youth from merely existing; to keep them from maintaining instead of growing and improving.

1. Virtues – Virtues are character qualities that separate humans from animals. When animals fight, they don’t fight about who’s right or wrong, but who’s strong or weak. Remove virtues and people begin acting like animals. Ironically, the Greek root for “virtue” means strength. But it refers to moral strength. A person of virtue is honorable; they don’t act merely out of self-interest, as a reptile does when it seeks food to eat, but in the interests of others. People of virtue act with civility in the face of adversity; they can be poised because they act instead of react to situations.

1. Values – Values today are either lost altogether in young people or they are products of individual taste or personal convenience. Studies show that college students say anything can be right and values come and go. I believe we must instill a set of timeless values that govern conduct—values such as honesty, service, trust, character, dependability and so forth. Values are like a compass that reveals your true north: they’re the guardrails to keep you on the right road and the horsepower behind every major decision you make.

1. Valor – Valor is rarely spoken about today. It literally means strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness and personal bravery. The true mark of valor is the absence of indecision even in the face of death. In the past, we spoke of soldiers or knights who acted with valor. Today, I believe we need to regain this quality that empowers young people to have clarity about what must be done and the courage to act on it.

How Can You Cultivate Them?

Coaches can build these character traits using teams and sports as a platform. Teachers can do it using subjects, classrooms and service trips. Parents can develop them in their homes and by creating family experiences that spark them.

Be intentional in equipping your children with the set of tools they need to have to be successful adults.

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